May 1st 94.
hello, help me, I'm fucked.
Okay, this MAJOR hot guy in my math class, Brad (he's a year older and has a girlfriend I might add) just starting paying attention to me. Like he stares at me in class like he's undressing me with his eyes. It's kinda gross but kinda hot at the same time. I don't know, I guess I just like the way it makes me feel.
And last night we were all at Moe's house after the dinner dance and he came up and talked to me. I was dying. I haven't been able to keep my mind off him all day. And I know we are going to be seeing each other around now that Liz is seeing Phil, which is weird cause he's like my brother's friend. Well, he used to be until he became a pothead. My brother is all anti-drugs, at least for himself.
But fuck, I haven't been able to keep my mind off Brad for like the last 4 days. Yes, me and Jason are still going out! I feel so bad.
Everyone broke up by the way. First, it was Jules and Kevin, then Liz, she broke it off with Brian to see Phil, and Jolene and Scott broke up just a couple days ago. So now what the fuck? Me and Jason are the only ones left and he hasn't called me in 2 days. Well, I haven't called him either, but he always calls me!
Oh and I forgot to tell you, me and Jason have been great. I went to his house alone and met his parents on Friday. But I know things are going to be different between us now that we have to spend more time alone together. I just hope it's a good difference rather than a bad one.
So far, it doesn't look too good. My mind is already wandering! He didn't go to the dinner dance with me Saturday but I did have fun. Moe's was great, only cause Brad talked to me. We went with Phil and Tree, then me and Jolene slept over there. I got drunk, like really drunk. But oh well. I just had to lay down on the golf green behind Phil's house for a little while and then I was fine, but then I was so cold! Haha. It was cool, cause you know, we are all just friends.
I kinda feel bad for Brian, but Phil and Lisa are kinda beautiful together. But Brian had just bought her a 70 dollar ring. Yikes, sorry buddy, ya know?
God, I want to get serious with Jason, but in a way I don't want to. I don't know, it's hard to explain. I like him, but it's hard to tell if our relationship is going to go anywhere. Sometimes it seems like he doesn't care what happens.
Fuck, I hate men, they make life so fuckin complicated.
See-ya later,
Brad is amazing!