I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Okay, now I looked dumb. Why the hell am I practising smiling in my bathroom, by myself?
Self-love, Maddison. That's what you learned these past few days, from the internet.
I stared at my face, am I that gorgeous? My skin is getting smoother and glowing even more since I used Diana's skincare that she left, thankfully, for few days. And my hair is back to black without any single blond thread. I stared at my face, even more, closed one of my eyes to see my mole that was only visible when I closed them. And the other one is on my neck. And the others are somewhere on my body. I looked at my hand without any hair, skin smooth like a baby. And my eyes back to the mirror as I tried to smile again. I am splitting my mother's image. Pretty, but it's a bit hurt.
I let down my hair, and put mascara on, humming Ariana Grande's song, what is it called again? Ah, imagine. Then, I remembered Ayden's whistle tone and laughed by myself. Hmm, I miss him so much.
I applied my lip tint, sprayed my new perfume, and went out of the bathroom, grabbed my watch and my tote bag and walked to my doorway.
I looked at the mirror, the dressing mirror that I just bought, one more time, looking at my outfit before I went out. I wore an oversize brown shirt and light khaki outerwear, matched it with my black midi skirt. I think I looked okay? I glanced at my cap before I went out without wearing it for the first time. And this is the first time I'm donning myself and wearing a skirt. I'm nervous, but yet excited. But scare too.
Let it be my first step as a healing process.
I don't even know what to do during my days off, and I think I'm getting too many days off since Ayden is busy.
I should go shopping and buy something for Ayden as a present today. And now that I think about it, I don't even know his birthday. He probably knows mine since he has my resume.
I locked my door to a parking lot. I stared at the car in front of me for a few minutes, considering if I should drive or not. Jade lend me his car, he drove here to just give me this car and the key. I just asked him, if I should buy a car since I do have a license. And since Ayden said he was worried because I used to walk or ride an uber to go to his house, I think, maybe, I should stop making him worry.
Wow, Maddie. Jade and Diana worried too but you didn't do anything and ignore them, but when it's come to Ayden….
I smile. Love is so bias.
I got into the silver car that he gave me three days ago. which I don't even know what model it is and started the engine. And I don't even know where to go shopping. I take out my phone and send a text to my man.
'Where did you usually go shopping?'
-MI-
And within a second, he replied.
'At WS mall, why? Are you going out?'
-AW-
WS mall? Where the fuck is that? I looked at the navigation and key in the mall name. Thirty minutes from here huh? Not that far.
I quickly replied and fastened my belt.
'When is your birthday?'
-MI-
'September, twenty-first, baby <3 Are you going shopping? Should I come and pick you up.'
-AW-
I smiled at his message. For some reason, I can hear him talking cutely, it's adorable. I quickly type for a reply.
'It's fine, you're busy right? Jade gave me a car, I can drive there.'
-MI-
'You drive? Are you sure?'
-AW-
'Yeah! Don't worry, I can drive and got a license too!'
-MI-
'Alright….tell me right after you arrive! Text me or call me! And if anything happens, call me first!'
I smiled wider. Awe...cute! Then he sent another message, which was his selfie. I think my gallery is already filled with his.
I fixed my bangs and snapped a selfie for him as a reply. Oh god, my smile looked so awkward but whatever. Sent! I put my phone in my bag and tossed it on the next seat and started driving. I switched on the radio and let the song play. It's been so long since I drove. The last time I drove was when I was twenty-three. And I sold the car after that. And now, Jade lend me one.
I was quite struggling to look for the WS mall even though I have navigation on. And after two hours and a half of struggle and a few wrong turns, I finally arrived and parked my car. I slammed my face on the steering wheel and sighed. It was hard. How come thirty minutes become two hours and a half?
It's so tiring. But it's fine! I can do this!
I quickly took my bag and took out my phone to tell him that I've arrived.
I swiped his messages and couldn't help but smile. It's quite a long one.
'Damn!!!!! Darling, you look so beautiful that I want to keep you by myself and lock you up in my house and tie you down right now. You look so gorgeous!!!! And I want to hug you so bad baby!!! I want to cry, you sent me your photo for the first time!!!!
I love you, baby, tell me when you arrived!!! Drive safely!!! Love youuuuuu <3 <3'
-AW-
I frowned and laughed at his texts. This is a bit crazy. But he is crazy.
'I've arrived. Thank you!!! You're gorgeous today too!!'
-MI-
I took a deep breath and stepped outside, and walked with anxiety inside the mall. I was under a culture shock. Or maybe a shopping shock? Whatever term it is, I am shocked! And I already realised that I can hear quite well but oh god, does the world always this noisy? It's chaotic.
I walked anxiously and finally went to a boutique that sells men's clothes, and carried my mission to buy something for him.
Hmm...he didn't wear much colour, he has black, white and grey a lot, he has some brown shirt and cream. He is probably good with any colour since he's gorgeous.
"Hello, miss, do you need any help?" I flinched when someone suddenly approached me. She looked at me with a faint smile, probably because of my jumpiness.
"Oh, it's fine," I said it will pressure me if she keeps following me. I quickly avert my eyes to the clothes in front of me. And she followed me but from far away. I still can feel her gaze. I want to cry already.
I take the velvet blue top, long sleeves look perfectly good on him, especially when he folded the sleeves on his forearms. But what his size though. I mean I know his size but this looks different. The measurements look different!
I started to panic.
I frowned and squinted my eyes, staring at the size. Would he love it if I bought him a larger size? Would he wear it if it's oversize? I think he's going to love it. If he doesn't, I'll just make sure he likes it. I mean, from all of his shirts that I wore, it's extra-large. But...since I think the measurement for this one is a little small, I'm going to take the largest size. Haha.
Ughh...I can feel the sales assistant staring and burning a hole in my head.
Should I run away?
But I want to see him wear this. Half button and tucked in with his black slacks, folded sleeves, and some accessories too. Rings, bracelets or perhaps necklaces too.
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what he looked like in this. And if he ties up his hair, and holds his camera, smiling eyes to eyes, showing off his dimples.
Hmm, perfect. I'll take the larger size then.
I moved to another section, red? I closed my eyes again and started to imagine how he would look in red. I smiled. That's cute too. And the fabric material is kinda soft. The colour is so pretty. It would fit him well and match his skin well.
And I moved to another section. He loves turtlenecks but he has so many white and black ones. Maybe I should buy him this green pullover and khaki one. He probably won't wear this since it's summer.
And I move to another section, this time it's a satin material. I grabbed the grey one since I think it looked nice.
Is there more? Or should I go to another shop?
I looked at the clothes on my hand. Okay, this is fun.
I went to the counter and was ready to pay. Maybe I should buy him some outerwear too.
"Is this perhaps for your boyfriend, miss?" I looked at the cashier who was smiling nicely at me. I nodded bashfully.
"Yes, do you think he would like it?" I asked him with a nervous smile.
"Yes! I think he would love it, you have a great sense of fashion, miss! And you look so amazing too. Are you a model?"
I grinned awkwardly. Okay, she said so many words, I need to say something back, right. I feel like I'm starting to sweat.
"Thank you for your compliment, but I'm just a housekeeper," I said. And she laughed, I don't know why she laughed. Did I say something funny? I smiled... Not knowing what to do.
She finally said the amount that I need to pay, and I gave her my card. I think this is my first time using the money I have like this. Usually, I just bought something online. But most of the time, Jade and Diana just loaded my house with all of the stuff, food, groceries, or even my clothes. Ah, I probably need to buy something for Diana and Jade too since it is always them who bought it for me.
She gave me my card back along with two paper bags.
"Thank you so much, miss, come again.!"
I smiled at her and walked out of the shop and went to another shop.
And from two bags to nine bags and my legs finally gave in, so I went to a cafe to take a rest and eat something. I put down all of the bags on two chairs as I sat on a four pax table.
Within a minute, a waiter comes and gives me a menu, and I'm starving like hell. I glanced at my watch, it's already three? Wow…
I rummaged through my tote bag and took out my phone to look at Diana's text since she launched a new product. She told me to buy some.
Hm?
Twenty missed calls?