Jungkook woke up with a heavy sense of guilt tied down in his stomach. He felt completely horrible and including the slight headache he got after that one can of beer, it couldn't get any better.
Feeling shitty about himself and actions, he decides to make it up to Jieun. He has to apologize but not just verbally, so he started on breakfast.
Checking the pantry for what is stocked, he looks up the recipe for an egg roll and his infamous Bibimbap with kimchi fried rice on the side.
Jieun now dazed from her sleep at the muffled sounds of dishes clinking, gets up from bed. One eye still screwed shut she heads to the noise in the kitchen.
Still half asleep, she couldn't make out exactly what's happening till Jungkook spots her as he is taking the packaged fruits out of the fridge.
"I'm so sorry did I wake you?" He bites his lips mentally smacking himself for not being quiet enough. "Anyways, I was about to wake you. Go wash up and breakfast will be ready for you." He walks towards her and then turns her shoulders around to guide her to the bathroom.
—-
"Are you sure you didn't order this?" Jieun still in awe at how good the Bibimbap tastes. Practically divine.
Jungkook who is sitting opposite her just grins widely at her enjoying the food. "Nope! It's all the work of this beautiful hands." He wriggles his fingers at her.
"Last I remember, ramyeon was your specialty." She arches her brow fonding at the memories when he occasionally made her ramyeon when she came over.
"I guess I've learned a thing or two in the past years. Also the internet played as my little assistant." He jokes sipping on his juice.
"Little assistant my ass. You were the one practically being ordered around." Jieun laughs as she teases him. The sound of her laughter still give his heart a fluttery feelings.
"Give me some slack would you. I'm trying to apologize here." He sheepishly smiles at her but is reminded of the whole reason for this.
The events of last night crash into her as she puts the spoon on the table. "Jungkook, it's-"
"No Jieun. I am sorry, I overreacted. I don't know why I was so bothered by it anyways."
"Jungkook." She reaches out for his hands on the table and clasps them in her small ones. "It's ok. You really didn't have to do all this." Sweet as the gesture of doing all this, she felt his genuineness and that's all that mattered.
He held her gaze so warmly that she could feel it. Weird enough, the aftermath of their reconciliation wasn't the only emotion playing around in their eyes. It was the half dead love that suddenly rose from their deepest basement in their heart. Their eyes held each other strongly it was growing hard to look away.
Braving up, Jieun asks Jungkook what she has been dreading to know since they met at that bridge. Swallowing hardly, she speaks up.
"Why did you really break up with me that night?"
Jungkook holds his breath. The tight hold on her hands slowly loosens till he brings it back to his side. This leaves Jieun to do the same.
He knew she was bound to ask him that. He knew he couldn't go on like this. He knew trying to stay away from her will only bring him closer. And bringing him closer meant Jieun will eventually ask him.
And she did.
His thoughts automatically play the flashbacks in his mind that night.
Lee Jieun's figure laying on the hard concrete with him kneeling beside her. Blood was flowing from underneath her. Her open mouth was oozing blood too as she coughs. A tear flows down her dirt smeared cheek.
"Jungkook." She coughs as her breathing starts getting labored taking short gasps. The hand he is holding slowly looses it warmth and it's strength too. The entire while, Jungkook sits there paralyzed.
"I don't think we were meant to be."
Her last blood spurted words have been painfully engraved in his mind since that night. The sleepless nights he's had from then on. How hard it was for him to sport a smile whenever he was with her after that night. His appetite had left and so did sleep.
Jungkook thought the whole time she's been resisting from giving in to her heart, she was right for doing that. She would have not died. She will not die then. The universe was simply telling him it's not meant to be but he was too far caught up in his emotions to see it clearly. He knows no better than the next person passing by. He couldn't change fate and if he did, he'll have to face consequences. Whether it is life threatening or not.
After weeks of crying and hard thinking, he called her to meet. If he wanted to end it, he should see her eyes at least to be reminded of how they were that night before she died.
And he did. Keeping it short and curt. He didn't stay behind because his soft heart will get the best of him and quickly change his mind. So he left just as he came. He moved to back to his parents for a while to avoid colliding with her and for her to cope with it. Till they got the news of him debuting. And just as they say, time flew by like the wind. Half of his days in the past 2 years were spent drinking himself to despair; numbing the pain, to erasing the flashbacks and killing the love he had for her. But just like every morning after the heavy drinking, the pain is still there, the flashbacks still clear as the day and his love still fresh as a daisy.
Jungkook drowned in his thoughts has been giving a Jieun a hard time. Patiently waiting for his answer after all these years. She couldn't decipher anything his eyes said. It was blank. And it wasn't helping her one bit. She needed to know what he was thinking if he wasn't saying anything.
"Jungkook." Snapping his mind back into the present.
"Did you stop loving me?" She fought hard to hide in the sob in the back of her throat.
"No! I never did." He chokes on his sob. "I still do. I still think of you everyday it's ridiculous." He confesses.
Jieun is taken aback. She can't utter a sound out. She feels even more confused, it's like she's lost in the middle of no where. It's like hitching a ride to think you'll be dropped at your destination but instead in the middle of no where.
What does he mean by this sudden confession?
"I guess that's why I am so worked up about Hoseok." He finally meets her troubled confused eyes.
"There's nothing between me and Hoseok. I am not lying, a Jungkook." Her eyes plead heavily for him to accept it.
"Then how do you feel about me?" Daring to ask, to sort his scattered thoughts and troubled heart.
If Jungkook thought this whole time she was baring herself open to him, he wasn't ready for when she spoke the love through her eyes.
"I couldn't bring myself to hate you even after you broke up with me. If anything I hated myself. I thought I wasn't meant for you. ." The tears she thought she had shed years ago seemed to be non existent now.
Shielding herself from him, she covers her face as her tears start running through her cheeks
Jungkook got pulled up to his feet at the sight of lee Jieun crying her heart out. The sniffing sounds fill the silent apartment aching his heart more.
Jieun feels his hands on hers as he pulls them away, her tear banked eyes barely made out his face.
So Jungkook holds her damp cheeks with both his hands, gently wiping her tears.
He thought all this time, he has been trying to protect her but instead he's been hurting her equally. She held back herself because of him. She thought she was happier all this while, but no.
Resting his forehead against hers. He whispers
"I'm so- I am so sorry."
Then he kisses her closed eyelids with his trembling lips muttering the words sorry. Moving up to her forehead he drops another with more pressure this time. By now, his tears were dropping down his cheeks. Amidst it all, they landed on her cheeks; and they say parallel lines never meet but their tears did. Together they came down as one.
His fluttery kisses continued to the bridge of her nose. Every time his lips touch her skin, she shivers. They felt hot against her but they felt nice too. She couldn't explain why she was this affect left her like this but she didn't want to stop it either.
When his face had snaked lower, almost to her lips, they hold their breaths. Afraid, they were of the aftermath of a session of their lips connecting.
So Jungkook tilts his head and inhales against her skin harshly, nudging her nose so lightly. It is his way of holding back, controlling himself.
This small act went on for a while but they knew their eagerness is also building by the second.
Jieun slightly pulled away, clasping his face between her small hands, she utters with her raspy voice.
Opening his eyes to meet hers, full of want and painstaking need for his dear lips to meet hers. He hitches breath, knowing his body is emitting the same emotions as hers.
Jieun starts to rethink if they should actually be doing this. If this was right to indulge in their hearts' needs instead of their morals.
Seeing this was as much as she could get from Jungkook, she places her hands on his shoulders to push him away but the next action sends her off her feet.
Jungkook's lips mashed against hers. Jieun's want is finally getting relinquished. The bristles of his unshaven jaw scratched against her soft cheeks as she gripped his head firmly, as if to keep him from escaping. She worked her mouth against his, their tongues battling back and forth like wrestlers, each trying to pin the other.
Titling his head, Jungkook leaned down to meet her swollen lips again. She's been biting them all this while trying to hold back her cries. But he wanted to be thankful for it because now, they seem more endearing than they've ever been. Redder than they've ever been.
So he darts his tongue out. Sliding it against the seam of her bottom red lip evoking a flinch and a hiss out of Jieun simultaneously.
Pulling back to look at her once more, he couldn't understand why and how he abstained himself from her. But that has changed now. He's not going to hold himself back. He's taking it all.
His right hand moves to the back of her neck to caress the small hairs that lay there; not aware that his touch scalds her waist and that she couldn't wince away because she loved it. Leaning his head more towards her to have her arch her neck and give him more access to devour her.
The love they've deprived themselves of was what extinguished this. Coming up for breather, they leaned their heads against each other, chests heaving and hard haggard breath.
Jieun kisses him like he wanted to be kissed, soft and moist and hot and breathy, not trying to win a battle but seeking union and closeness and the sharing of one breath, one sensation, one timeless and passionate moment. The heat rose in her cheeks at how sensual this kiss got.
Jieun dares to look up to his eyes, but it's not Jungkook's that's staring back at her, it's Hoseok. As if she is been burned by hot coal, she retraced her arms from his body and leaned away. Still catching her breath, she looks down at her feet; realizing it's wrong.
"Jieun." Voice raspy and yearning for more.
Jungkook knows too. But Jungkook can't resist her after they both resurfaced their emotions. So emotionally driven, he dives in for another kiss.
But he then he gets a jolt on the side of his head, making him move back, as he's being blinding by the light.
Jungkook was another case, he was getting a flashback.
Hoseok pushed Jieun against the wall releasing a groan out of her. She had her arms wrapped under his arms as he types in the passcode for the apartment.
Once they were in, their lips didn't wait any longer feverishly kissing. And one thing led to another.
Jieun laying underneath Hoseok unbuttoning his shirt whilst he untucked hers.
"Jungkook." She whispered.
he stood far from her. Repulsed at what he just saw he couldn't bear looking at her hence giving her his back.
Still getting no answer, she walks up to him and tries to turn him but he retreats away as if he was touched by an acid.
Jieun flinches back, worried she did something wrong. And she realized that when Jungkook turned around because it wasn't Jungkook staring back, it was Hoseok.
"Jieun." Hoseok's voice cracks as he calls her.
"You told me there's nothing between you two. You lied that there's nothing" She flinches at his sudden outburst.
"I just had a flashback of you and him about to have sex! God knows what I would have seen if I didn't stop myself" Hoseok's body trembles
Jieun is reminded of the night her and Hoseok swore to never talk about. How she almost forgot Jungkook that night.
"Jungkook nothing happened. " She pleads standing up to him.
"Will you quit lying for a minute, I saw you both kissing in bed."
"Because that's all that happened that night. We were both so drunk. We never slept with each other. It didn't happen, nothing happened that night. Believe me."
It got quiet for a while. Jungkook refused to glance at her even though she was looking at him trying to make him see the truth.
"I need to step out. I can't think right now Lee Jieun." He goes to get a jacket and instead he finds Jieun standing by the door.
"Jungkook" Without a glance he opens the door and walks out.