Chapter 36 - Lost

Lee Jieun couldn't obtain the sense of guilt now, its already 8pm. She did want to give him time alone but now its too long.

Her heart dropped when she heard the door knob, she ran to check the door and it was hoseoks body.

His facial expressions were different though, he wasn't mad. He just seemed confused, and out of breath.

"Jungkook.." before she could say anything Hoseok shook his head.

"Its Hoseok not Jungkook" he breathed out heavily.

"How?" Now lee Jieuns heart felt even heavier. She could only get back to him

her body back then because she died... and it was all a dream but this?

"Wait what about Jungkook?" She almost cried out but tried to limit her thoughts.

"I don't know, I really don't. Jieun i was by that bridge." He tried explaining.

"Aha"

"Jungkook is suicidal" Hoseok voice hitched.

Hoseok wasn't sure if what he did was right. Throwing something so personal that he found out unwillingly when he was in Jungkooks body.

The multiple flashbacks and slight attempts.

"Huh?" Her eyes softened, her face paler by the second.

"It didn't seem like he took my phone with him , just give it to me really fast okay? I have to go."

Lee Jieun was still in midst of her thoughts; suicidal?

Hoseok held her shoulder lightly before he sprint past her to search for the phone.

—-

"Please answer Jimin please" hoseok whispered to him self pleading as the ringtone continued to voice non stop.

No one answered the phone not Jimin or Taehyung; not even Jungkook.

Lee Jieun stayed speechless; her heart heaving unaware of all the flinching she has been doing.

"Can i go to their place too?" Her voice softened ; Hoseok not wanting to say no but knowing exactly how problematic it would be just opened the door and left motioning a bye.

Hours passed, Lee Jieun started tearing up at some point. She just sat down vulnerable, unable to comprehend anything.

Its all because of me. It definitely is, I shouldn't have went to that bridge from the first place.

——

She stared back at her phone; her eyes widen to the name.

"Jieun.. " Hoseok voiced out since she was quiet.

"Did you find him?"

"It seems like they went to the practice, i am in their building right now" hoseok barely uttered.

"You're lying aren't you?" She knew him too well, the habits he had even though its been so long since he occupied it in his own body it was still the same.

"We have a meeting today, i will make someone go with you okay?" He sighed.

"Hoseok please just tell me the truth."

"I don't know whats going on, Jieun" his voice shook. "He is at home but he wouldn't wake up, we called the doctors"

Silence.

"He will be wake up i am sure , i was just worried because i had flashbacks of his thoughts right before we switched" he tries assuring her through the phone " Its just that he was hesitant since it wasn't his body, and i thought that once he would go back into his he would..."

"I understand" she tried containing the painful sobs through her throat.

"It's not your fault or anyones fault" he murmured as if he exactly knew what was going on through her mind and he was.

Air that came in gasps , his sobs that chocked in between.

Sitting down the cold floor of the empty bridge. Silence was broken with a faint noise calling his name through the waves.

I really want to end this.

Jungkook at the bridge..

He just needed answers, one sided love sounded even less painful.

How he let him self sink into his emotions through those years; he ended up worthless and lost.

In the midst of the most successful parts of his life, when his dreams as an artist finally came true.

It wasn't enough; it was never enough.

Music. That was the only thing that kept him going; somehow.

Even though he felt incomplete and tried losing him self at times. It made him fear and take a step back to reality. Now thats not there either so what's stopping him?

His body shivers and heart shatters into him.

Its just for him to breath.

please hold me down , hold my invaded self before it collapses.

I love her, I really do. But if she is not for me Just please let me breath.

He closed his eyes, everything blacked out.