After I leave my flat, I make my way to work. I'm trying to put myself in the mind set of my character, normally I can but today I'm all over the place. All I can think about is their voices and all I see is snap shots in my head of our time together. Ugh this is not going to be a good day. Normally I'd be happily in my character by now but no not this time.
It's the story we are playing and the character I'm playing. I'm the Queen of Hearts. Which is totally ironic because I'm so not the Queen of Hearts type. The owners wanted me for Alice since I'm a natural blond and I have big dark blue eyes. Not only that I'm small. I stand 5'1 and weight about 90 lbs. Which is under weight for me but I'm a broke ass actor food is not high on my list of priority most of the time. But I insisted that I wanted the Queen. It was my way of giving him my middle finger. I'm not the simpering Alice anymore.
But now because of my choice I'm suffering with these unwanted feelings and memories. So my big middle finger to him turned around and bit me on the ass. God how I hate karma.
I come out of my inter log to notice I have 10 minutes to get to work and about 10 blocks to go still. I knew I should have taken the tube. Right now I want to go back to bed and start this day over again by not answering my phone. Oh well. With that I start to run so I might make it on time. Well sorta maybe just a few minutes late.
As I huffed and puff in the door at the cafe I hear a yell coming from the bar area.
" Lexi your late. How do you ever expect to go anywhere in life if your always late." The fat middle age man yells.
To be far he's just has a gut and he's about 40. But I can't stand him. He makes my skin crawl. And the worst thing is he's the owner. I paste on a big bright smile as I turn to him.
" Oh dear me. I'm so so sorry Mr. Moore. If I had known that Savannah would get arrested last night I would have set an alarm to be here on time. Alas I didn't know any of that until she called me from jail to ask me to cover for her and" I pause to look at my watch, " that was about 35 minutes ago. I'm sure it won't happen again. " I finish with a big pouty lip and sad wide eyes.
" Hum, are you supposed to be off today?" Moore asks humbly.
" Why yes sir I am." I say all innocent like.
" Oh in that case don't let it happen again or I will replace you. " Moore bolsters.
Internally I roll my eyes but on the outside I look down all chastise but I look to the side to wink at my fellow cast members and wait staff who is all watching to see if I leave it at that or I continue.
I don't let them wonder any longer as I lift my head and look Moore in the eyes with a stare that says oh bring it on fat man.
" Mr. Moore I'd love to see you try. In fact why don't you call an agency to get an actor down here and see if she can learn all the lines and ques in about 45 minutes and then see if she can fit into my costume since Savannah took her's home last night and then she got arrested. " I pause for a breath and give him a minute to think it over before I finish.
" And then see if this said actor can put up with your sexual harassment without calling in the cops. And while your thinking that over just remember who's acting skills are filling up these sits to make you a lot of money. Since the reviews came out and who's name and skills where they praising some unknown actor that you got from an agency or me, Lexi Stevens. Um that gives you some food for thought doesn't it." I finish with my head held high and while looking him dead in the eyes.
He stumbles with incoherent words that I can't distinguish and honestly don't give a fuck about while I wait for a minute and turn around only to hear him say,
" Where are you going young lady."
While my back is still to him I say,
" To the dressing room and then to makeup to get ready for work. Since you already informed me I'm late and we have about 35 minutes before the bar opens."
And with that I walk towards the back to the applause of the staff. As I hit the back door with my open hand to push through I feel arms come around me and a dark voice says in my ear
"Now that was something to behold, sweetheart." With that I get spun around to where my hands end up on a well defined chest and I look up into the darkest eyes I have ever seen. Awe. Troy is so hot. All black hair and black eyes classically handsome but with a roguish look to him. Just looking at him a girl knows you will have some good hot and rough sex that leaves you panting and quaking in a puddle of goo after words. But even through it sounds good it's just not me. I don't do one or two night stands and Troy is not the long haul kind of guy. But before I can speak he says,
" when are you going to give me a chance to have all that fire and passion released under me. You know you need it baby."
Oh how he is not wrong. Ugh I hate when he reads me. But what do you expect he his a dom after all and he pinned me as a sub just a few minutes after we first met. And since I keep telling him no it makes me even more of a challenge for him. Which is not always a good thing. Now even if I say yes he will be overly dominant to prove a point to me and that's not something I want.
Sighing I say, " Sorry Troy it's just not in the cards for us."
He holds me tighter and says, " Why not you know we have been dancing around this for a couple of years now."
He's frustrated with this and it shows.
But I know he understands and he chooses to ignore it which puts me squarely on the I can't trust him side. Which you need trust in your dom to let go and submit to him. But with Troy I just can't.
" You know why Troy. And the more you push the more the answer is still going to be a no. So stop ok. Or I'll have no choice but to end our friendship as well." I say in all honesty.
"AHHHHHH babygirl don't say that. You know I have feelings for you. Fuck. You just get me so...." he stops and closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
" ok ok we will play it your way for now. How's that?" He finishes.
And with that I laugh I can't help it. He pulls me in tighter and I rest my head on his chest for a few minutes. I need this and the fucked up part is Troy knows it. He would be a good dom but just not for me.
"Feel better baby?" Troy asks all sweetly. Again I laugh and with that all my tension is eased.
Smiling I look up and say,
" Yes sir. Now I must go and get ready for work before I earn a punishment. "
" FUCK! You know you are evil right." He says as he releases me. I turn around and walk through the door as I hear him say,
" And you say this with your cute little American accent too. You know you've gotten me hard right."
Again I laugh but this time it's laced with a knowing and some what evil under tone. And just like that I go to get into my character for the night.