The first mission they had, being sent down to experience hardship hardens Yan Lan's heart. Although technically they would not have prior memories clearly, the subconsciousness between them exists. And every parting became unbearable. The acquaintances and bonding almost instantaneously pull them together unknowingly leaving them to ponder what had actually happen? And the episode where they were body guard and crown prince in making is one that Yan Lan vividly despises.
Helplessly distraught to see his crown prince bleeding in his arm the moment the arrow hits all his effort to fend every threat became useless, he knew his chances became slimmer. When he rushed to fend off the other incoming attacks. He was focus on pulling the crown prince over to his horse. He was desperate to pull him out. The sky silent every comrade's heart at that strike of the arrow to make way for them out of the battlefield. He held on to the crown prince even though the crown prince at his mercy instructed him to go back and help the rest. And in that moment all that the crown prince cared about was his people there despite being hit, but for his royal body guard all he cared about is this person that was bleeding profusely in his arm as they rode away to safety. And in that ride, the royal body guard remembers...as they pain stabs harder behind his stoic face, he recalls a little from his dream their vows to protect each other until they came home.... he didn't want the crown prince to leave this world without him...this first heart break of the blue aura was the hardest hit to take. While this soul's personality is always calm and cold down here on this mission - it never was when it comes to the crown prince. The hardest ride back to the base camp left them bargaining for more time just a little more time together. The blue aura didn't like asking as he always feel each mission is theirs to control and no one should interfere and he would take charge and decide their fate but this...,this was beyond his control. When the one he loves and devoted to, is at the edge of being taken away on his first mission here. While he remained calm outside, he was raging mad at this predicament of theirs.....his taste of a real heartache, shattered and broken.
The scream of the crown prince voice as they remove the arrow from his flesh made him wished they were never sent here...he teared for the first time, and he recalled the feeling of hurt then. He wanted to take the crown prince away back to the the mystical land he roughly remember ...where everything was calm and serene and he recalls now why the crown prince always like this little hide out near the palace...it resembled moments when they were together, back in the mystical land and the magical forest. "When troubles hit the crown prince and when the plots of power struggle heightens at the palace, the crown prince would always ride out to this place ... spending just quiet time here. 'It's getting just so hard...' he will sink his head down leaning on his horse. And when no one else could find him, his royal body guard will search for him here...
"You shouldn't go missing without telling anyone, you should at least let me know" they will drop their formalities here ...and as both souls enter this little hide out outside of the palace walls, it brings them back to calmness, to the place they once remember - free of worries.
"Yi Wen... I feel safe and calm here for some reason." He walked towards the stream and look at it "these feelings of pain, anger, disappointment and how the palace way and power play is unfolding it makes me sick" He spoke as he look at the little pretty flowers that lined the river bank and the flow of tranquil waters that swept through the stream upfront.
Inside, he knew what the crown prince meant. Yet their idealistic view was what they were taught to embrace back then but the harshness of reality is for them to gather through these missions. The experience gained would help them to discern wisely on decisions of the right and wrong while staying collected.
Back at the scene - the crown prince wished to be back here .. he knew he had to fulfill his wish. While they attended to his injury, as they removed the arrow, the scream that follows was heart breaking. It couldn't pierce any more through his royal body guard's heart. He waited beside him yet when he feels the glow dimming from his eyes - he knew the time has come. They knew the time has come - going against any possible formalities ...he carried the crown prince onto the horse again as dawn approaches fending off all the formalities he has to break through. The royal body guard tears fell onto the crown prince palm as he rode to this little place again.
"Don't cry ..." he heard the weak whisper "I'll be okay..," the crown prince said in a weak voice. They stayed there quietly by the little stream until dawn broke the surrounding and the flowers seems to smile while the hearts of these two cried. As the scent of the morning flowers fills the surrounding, the whispers from above came.."it's time".
'Is this how it feels?'the blue aura asked silently in his heart, he could barely hold his strength not to breakdown but he wanted to be there, bold and strong as the crown prince lean on him. The crown prince forcing himself to stay awake taking in the pain quietly though the physical injury and pain tormented gravely as he goes through this final moments. The body guard held onto the crown prince hand and said "I love you" a sign that he is unwillingly but had to willingly let go. He wants to free the crown prince of this pain, letting him know it's alright to go and he will be okay. At the final squeeze of their hands which he could feel the silent pressure from the crown prince palm before it fell motionless against his - A sign that the crown prince acknowledge his consent to let go. At that the red aura's soul lifted while the guardian angels signalled reminding that the given time bargained earlier is up. The red aura's soul watched as it floated up with the guardian angels by his side sending his final whisper down at the royal body guard- 'I'll be alright, I promise"
Carrying the lifeless body back for the rituals to be perform, he walked like an empty shell, motionless making sure all the necessary rituals were performed. The royal body guard, the blue aura knew this was what it feels like then to feel the feeling of loss, despair, helplessness, utter surrender against his own strong innate fighting spirit. He did not believe in succumbing to such situation ...one that he had no control over. And his remaining days were spent visiting the crown prince resting place until they unite again.
The morning came as Kay's phone ring. "Hey you off your phone - we' ve been trying to reach you. Where are you?" He quietly move to the washroom to take the call looking over at Yan Lan still asleep not wanting to interrupt Yan Lan's quality sleep. They were coming to pick him up. He had no choice but to leave early. He had to negotiate the pick up time and point so they can spend whatever remaining time left.
"Hey..what's with all the hushing in here and the whispering in the toilet ? Startled again as the familiar hands wrapped him from behind.
"If you keep going missing every morning, I'd really have to tie you down next to me every night" he said teasing again as he place a subtle peck on Kay's neck.
"Hey Yan Lan ..." Kay turned around. "I...I have to go soon, they just called."
Those eyes that were staring at him had now signs of disappointment, yet an understanding of what it meant, as they both are in the same line of work.
Yan Lan pulled him in again for a silent embrace, afraid of loosing him again. These words "I have to go" he wished it never existed....this line that had been so oftenly uttered and that they have been so accustomed to, he despises them - especially when they are trying to make time stand still for them, with whatever that's left of it.
"Must you...?" Was all he asked, leaving hope for any push back on his side but they both understand what it means to abide by certain rules in this line.
"Mmm" hesitantly Kay replied after a long paused.
"Let me know when you want us to visit the new place" he offered as a consolation to this short departure.
Yan Lan's heart leaped as he pulled him back from the embrace, still pretending to be the Mr. cool, but the excitement sends glitter in his eyes against the pretentious calm face "What did you say?" He again wanted a repeat on what was already said.
When the response was a shy smile from the person looking down instead, he lifted those chin and gently place a kiss on the tempting lips in front, bringing Kay closer to him as he pass on those emotions through the kiss silently 'it means a lot' . And this is the way they had been living ever since their story started. There were uncertainties surrounding just their own wants and what is expected of them - yet the misses compounds through endless days and months leaving them immensely shattered.
"You won't go missing again will you?" Yan Lan asked as the gentle side of him appears and only to Kay's eyes. Always the same ... at moments when they had to part, the magnificent, confident and over powering lion cub will quiet down to his gentle side seeking comfort for his insecurity to want to have his soft gentle quiet bunny back at his side as soon as possible. Kay reach out his hand to comb his fingers through Yan Lan's hair sensing this side of him coming through. Looking through those eyes seeking for comfort from Kay. And Kay knowing Yan Lan understood how he felt. Kay smiled and nodded giving back the much needed assurance to Yan Lan as they enjoy the remaining time left before the lonely days start again. Yan Lan knew every parting again such as this is a risk but he was certain to keep each parting short moving forward from now on. Meeting Kay here itself tells him a lot how Kay feels even though Kay's intention was to let go but he couldn't. And now hearing Kay's willingness to visit this new place he had bought for them kept him calm, comforted at least for now. Yan Lan couldn't help but to pull Kay in for a long silent hug after having all these thoughts running through him. When they parted that day - Kay sent Yan Lan something he crafted for him on his way home.
Even winter can't seal this heart by North Star
It has never been constant
This story of ours
But it is only us who holds the pen
Only us to arrange the melody
Can a love so true exists?
Perfect like the rainbow after the storm
Calm under the greatest pressure
Safe in the presence of danger
Warm even in winter
Passion that can't be concealed
Louder than words can imagine
From the depth of our hearts it shows
Believes that last through centuries
Even when seasons changed
The deep seeded love firmly stands
Even when the heart is sealed through the harsh winter snow
It melts at the warmth of your embrace
I love you Yan Lan so much that you can't even imagine.