The nightmare I had earlier still lingers in my head as I shook uncontrollably. I tried to stop it but it only worsens as I keep hearing Abby's voice in my head. Her cries for help and scream from the unknown pain she received. Her high pitch squeal of fright... I could still hear all of it that only just worsen my trembling state.
I don't know what is happening to me but I am sure that I am not having a panic attack because if I do I should have seizures and, probably, faint. And besides, panic attack most likely will happen for 3% in my lifetime— according to my Dad and our personal therapist/doctor—since I am half-way cured of the frightening past I had...
And if I ever have one it should've been triggered every time I patrol or capture criminals.
My sweats from my forehead trace down cooly on my cheeks and neck as it hit my metallic chest that covers my heart inside as it thumps quite furiously inside. Hearing it's loud thumping in my ear like a thrill when I have my first mission as I breathe in and out trying to calm myself down as best as I can like how I usually did when I was a kid whenever I have nightmares.
I felt my Dad rubs his hand comfortingly on my back as we stay quiet inside the small space, as I felt uncle Red's intense worried gaze on my head so I decided to glance at him...
His eyes were full of worries as he seems to think something so seriously. He looks up to me looking my eyes with him as I inhale the comforting scent of my adoptive father– that helped me to calm myself down when I was just kid...and it still helps me right now
This is the first in a long time I have a bad dream that so intense that I thought its real...
I hate being so vulnerable especially to Master Luke. I felt like a worthless piece of shit that they once rescued me from. The kid with scars all over his body and a very stinky smell that almost sticks to skin... A helpless and worthless junk that I was. The one that was, now, saved from the hands of abusive adults and chains that shackles my entire being in that old building they called paradise. But right now I am free from those and that's because of Uncle Red and the Smith's Family that loved me. It just that I couldn't help but feel shit and ungrateful for their hard work so I could become the 'Aiden' they build.
because of them. I am what I am now.
Being vulnerable and all makes me feel ungrateful and sh*tty, reminding me of how I was. So to lighten things up, I wipe my snot and tears with a handkerchief from my pocket as I look at the both of them. I know my eyes look puffy and red but I don't care.
Their faces filled with worry and anxiousness that warm my half artificial heart. Especially when I saw my uncle Red's face that for all I could remember— that still haunts him from the traumatizing past I had— still bothers him until now. He's the one who saved me from that nightmare after all.
"you two looked sh*t" I voice out as they both glares at my insensitivity of the atmosphere. Dad smacks me on my head hard but not hard enough to make me unconscious. As uncle Red continues to look at me as if I had done a dangerous mission.
'at least they don't look worried sick like how I used to know because they look ugly and uncool' I thought.
"How could you say that when you have just had your nightmare since forever—" and the long nag began. Uncle Red went back to his seat after he nags me for about 30 mins but Dad never stops until his voice turns husky from speaking to much. But that didn't stop him from giving me occasional glare he gave me and a few scolding eyes that make me thank the being above because of the fact that mom isn't here or else my ears would bleed from her silent scolding.
For a few more moments later the earlier noisy space turns into a silent while the snore of the two adults fills the car as I stay awake, fearing that the nightmare will continue.
The night pass by a bit fast than I expected as my thoughts ran wildly to search what could at the end of the letter mean... it says:
'P O D Y H V D Y H'
' G D U N Z R U O G '
(to those people who know this kind of code pls keep it to yourself 🤫😉)
and if I rearrange it to make a word it still won't make any sense. But I still tried it nonetheless, decoding and/or searching for its meaning is one of my special skills yet I had a hard time trying to seek its meaning. It's only been a few hours since the meeting, I know. But I can't help have this uncomfortable feeling at the back of my head; my instinct says that something going bad to happen to Abby and this mission didn't just about the government* problem or whatever but my intelligence and logical side says otherwise.
"P O D Y H V D Y H" and the " G D U N Z R U O G "
Those letters felt like they are not meant to be gibberish but held meaning like how should an agent and spies use codes...
'Why am I so dumb?! That should be it! those letters are codes but unknown... or maybe the agent uses an ancient code that 'almost' been forgotten...'
I took a copy of the letter from my briefcase as I let myself scan the paper again. Double-checking everything —especially the endnote below that made the officials most likely ignored.
Most likely
After I scan the paper multiple times and double-checking everything, the result was still 0% findings, meaning this kind of code didn't even exist... or its really that old that even the technology forgets this kind of code.
I sigh in annoyance and frustration as my headache comes back like I was smashed between a truck and a wall. I rub my temples upwards as I clench my hair afterward trying to lessen the pain but the migraine I am feeling right now smirks as it only worsens.
I turn off all the lights inside the car as it soon starts to ease a little, sighing thankfully as I slump down to the leathered yet soft seat.
Soon after the sun rises in front of us, meaning that we were in the east part of the planet, as uncle red stirs from his long nap and rubs his eye, fixing his hair and wiping his nonexistent drool before he looks at me.
"What time is it?" He asks. His morning voice evident as his usual husky voice was now a bit deeper as his eyes were still half asleep, refusing to open up.
"around 6 am."
"Did you sleep?" He asks as his earlier half-asleep eyes were now wide awake with a worried gaze that I remember he usually gave me when I was a kid.
"I took a nap, but I woke up after 3 hours." I lied with a poker face that I usually wear when I feel suck or unbothered or even when I am facing a complete stranger.
"Good, at least you sleep. Where are we right now anyway?" He asks after a nod of approval as he turns to face the road again, turning off the auto-pilot
"southeast of country B1*" I replied as I watch the beautiful scenery through the window as blurs of green and hues of different colors pass through my eyes, appreciating the beautiful side of the world. Despite the crimes and bad things that humanity made they still didn't forget how to be thankful and take care of their so-called "Mother Earth" that only the past humans will feel ashamed at the destruction, they did in the past.
I look at my Master Luke at the passenger seat as a small blanket covers his arms whilst a pink bonnet, Abby's bonnet to be precise, covers his hair in a childish way. His lips pout as snores past through his throat that even I could hear here in the back seat.
I roll my eyes as I look back at the window, lazily staring at the scene as my mind goes blank. Each passing hour feels like seconds as uncle Red continues his drive, while I just look at the now foggy window as the soft cotton if snow falls while the cold wind makes the window cold and foggy.
The code still lingers in the back of my mind while the computer busies itself to search for the forgotten spy codes.
But what really worries me is that my guts keep telling me to not ignore the nightmare I just had.
'but what should I do?'
________
* I use the term government because of some reasons that you will know in the near future.
*I will now also revise the places/country so that I could write the story easily. I really regret doing 'real-life country' because I haven't
been there so...
pls read the author's thought ▼・ᴥ・▼