Shane and Jihoon started regularly eating on the steps. It looked like rain on Friday, but they still walked out to the courtyard at lunchtime, wrapped tightly in puffy winter coats. Shane slowed as he approached their normal spot.
Ugly red paint smeared the faded concrete: MURDERER; PLASTIC GARBAGE; GET OUT OF OUR SCHOOL!
Shane moved toward it, fully intending to sit despite the fact that the paint was obviously still wet.
"Wait!" Jihoon said. "One minute, okay? Wait for me to come back."
Jihoon sprinted away without waiting for a reply.
As Shane stared at the angry words, the door behind him opened again.
Minjae stood in the doorway. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing."
"I'm . . ." Shane Trailed off before she could think of what to say. But it didn't matter. Minjae spotted the graffiti and let out a few choice curses that made Shane's brows rise, impressed.
Before either boy could speak again, Jihoon returned. Water sloshed out of the bucket he carried, two mops and a few rags awkwardly gripped in his other hand.
"What are you doing here?" Jihoon asked Minjae , and the hard tone annoyed Shane.
"Oh, can you two quit already?"
Minjae and Jihoon both stared at him, but no one was more surprised at the outburst than Shane himself. It was not like him to talk like that. Then he realized he didn'tfeel sorry for saying it. In fact, it felt good.
"You've known each other your whole life. Do you know how special that is? If you're going to throw away your friendship, then fine, that's your choice, but it's not going to be because of a fight that involves me. I didn't ask for any part in this."
Minjae and Jihoon were quiet a moment, probably shocked into silence, or perhaps neither wanted to be the first to speak.
"I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder," Minjae finally said.
"I'm sorry for keeping secrets," Jihoon said.
"Well, I guess I should trust that they're important if you're keeping them from me."
Jihoon smiled and the tightness around Shane's heart loosened.
"Sooo." Jihoon stretched out the word. "Does that mean you've missed me?" Before Minjae could avoid him, he grabbed him in a headlock.
"Ya! You're my brother, how can I miss you?" he yelled.
He refused to release him. "Admit you missed me."
Minjae punched Jihoon's back with a wide swing of his fists. He let his brother go with a grunt of pain. "Ow, that hurt!"
"That's the point," Minjae said, still hitting him.
As SHane watched, a pressure built inside of him, like the bubbling of a carbonated beverage with the lid closed tight. And he'd been shaken and shaken. Days of bullying. Weeks of imbalance. Now he was faced with the surreal sight of Minjae and Jihoon slapping at each other like kids. Because, SHane had realized, that was what they were, kids free to be as ridiculous as they pleased.
The pressure pushed its way out, bursting forth in a snort of laughter. Everyone stopped at the sound, but no one was more shocked than Shane herself.
"Are you laughing at my pain?" Jihoon asked.
"I find the sight of you getting beat up very amusing," Shane said between hiccups of laughter.
"He's not getting beat up by just anyone," Minjae countered, suddenly defending his brother.
"Yeah." Jihoon slung his arm around Minjae's shoulder in solidarity, their previous fight completely forgotten. "I'm getting beat up by Park Minjae His fists can make whole nations fall."
He lifted one of his hands as proof.
Three sets of eyes stared at the fist. Then they all flopped over in laughter. Shane's abs ached, his head felt light, but it was a good feeling. A cleansing one, like he'd emptied out a dark sludge that had clogged his gut for days.
"Ya! Are you guys hiding from me? I was waiting in the cafeteria for you," Seojun asked, his arms crossed as he stood in the doorway.
"Seojun, since you're here, you can help us clean," Jihoon said, reminding Shane of the graffiti.
"You don't have to," he said, embarrassed by the harsh red words.
"Of course we will." Jihoon scowled at the block letters sprawled over the concrete. "Only cowards do things like this."
Seojun nodded and accepted one of the mops. No questions, no pitying eyes. Just acceptance and a willingness to help. It was strange for Shane to feel that kind of automatic support. The three friends exchanged taunts and laughter as they cleaned, claiming there were multiple spots missed or that someone was slacking off.
Strange that something that could have been another dagger to his confidence instead turned into something so nice. They did this for him. They were happily cleaning to erase the cruel words directed at him.
he wondered if it could have always been so easy to have friends.
And regret sat heavy on his heart for all the time he'd wasted being alone.