The hospital was a tall gray building with a large driveway leading to the glass entrance. The signs had been changed to wish everyone a happy Lunar New Year. With it would come the end of January and the beginning of winter break. And the one-month anniversary of Shane tearing his life apart and leaving him.
"Jihoon-ah, how did you do during finals?" Nurse Jang asked as he approached the seventh-floor nurses' station.
"Third place in the class."
"Your grandma would be proud."
Jihoon smiled, a weak impersonation of his old dimple-deep grins.
"Make sure you go home tonight," Nurse Jang said. "Your grand,a would not approve of you sleeping over."
"Yes, ma'am."
The telltale beat of monitors welcomed him as he entered his grandmother's room. The second bed sat empty today, but it would be filled again soon enough. They couldn't afford a private room, but usually the other occupants never stayed that long. Though Jihoon frowned as he remembered the harabeoji who'd last occupied the other bed had seemed fairly ill.
"I'm here, grandma." Jihoon lowered the humidifier. He took out a stick of lip balm and lifted her oxygen mask to apply it. "If you don't use this, your lips will get too dry. You hate your skin getting cracked."
He pulled out a sheet of paper from his bag. "I got third rank during the end-of-the-year exams, Grandma. You'd never believe it if you didn't see it for yourself."
He spoke with a shred of hope, like this was enough to make her open her eyes for the first time in a month. She lay still and quiet.
"I know, you're asking why not first," Jihoon said conversationally.
"I might be more motivated if you were there to nag me." Still nothing and he let out a dejected sigh.
"Jihoon-ah?"
He turned and spotted Detective Roger. "Ajeossi."
"How is she today?"
"I think she has more color," Jihoon said, though he couldn't be sure.
"She looks good." Detective Roger gave Jihoon's shoulder a squeeze. Though it was meant to comfort, it made Jihoon stiffen. Such a paternal gesture was foreign to him. And the detective had a way of making Jihoon wonder what things would be like if he'd had a father figure in his life. It was useless to wonder, though. Jihoon's father was nothing but a selfish man. Even if he were around, he wouldn't be like Detective Hae, who was stable and kind.
Jihoon cleared his throat and glanced toward the other side of the room. "It looks like we're getting a new neighbor."
"Yes, Mr. Kim passed away last night. His daughters were talking to the nurses outside just now, poor girls."
Jihoon's mouth became dry. The news of death did that to him these days. A sharp fear that he and Minjae were whispered about with such pity, two brothers who'd lost someone he loved.
"He didn't seem that bad off."
"He's at peace now and his soul can finally rest."
"You really believe that?" Jihoon asked. Detective Roger was devoutly Christian. Surprisingly, it had lent Jihoon some comfort in the past month as he tried to come to grips with his grandmother's condition.
"Sometimes, in life, we cannot find the salvation we need. If so, it can come in death."
"Well, sometimes people shouldn't die so soon. It's not fair."
Detective Roger nodded. Jihoon didn't know if it was agreement or not.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm still your primary contact for the hospital. They called me when you didn't go to your last appointment."
Jihoon's sigh wasn't directed at the detective, though he was the only one to receive it. When Jihoon was in the hospital after the accident, Detective Roger had taken on the case. Without anyone else to call, the hospital had taken the detective's contact information. Jihoon had never changed it.
"I told you, if they call me, I'm coming down here to check on you," the detective said
"I know," Jihoon said. "I'm sorry."
Detective Roger had proven to be more than a cop trying to close a case. He'd become personally invested in the attack at Halmeoni's restaurant. Sometimes the neighbors told Jihoon they saw Detective Roger diligently canvassing the area. Jihoon knew the attacker would never be brought to justice, but it mattered that someone cared.
"Jihoon-ah, when a man gives his word, he should keep it."
The lecture was something Jihoon would have ignored a month ago, but he nodded dutifully. "Yes, sir."
The detective was a man with a distinct sense of right and wrong. Follow the law, be a good person, and live a decent life.
"Have you given thought to what I asked you last time?"
Jihoon hunched, averse to the topic at hand. "I did," he mumbled.
"And?" Detective Roger prompted. "Would you like me to try to find your father? It could make it easier to have a parent . . ." He trailed off, knowing it was a sore subject for Jihoon. The detective was good at his job; it had only taken a day for him to find out who Jihoon's father was and where he lived. But he'd respected Jihoon's desire not to call Him and that had gone a long way in earning Jihoon's trust.
"I'll be okay once grandma wakes up," Jihoon said, standing. He wanted to end this discussion. "I'll go to that appointment now." And with a final bow, he escaped.
• • •
The neurology floor was newly renovated, frosted glass bordering the halls and freestanding waterfalls decorating the waiting room.
Jihoon checked in and was immediately brought to the back, where Dr. Choi waited in an examination room. He stood with arms crossed, his square jaw set. The gray at his temples gave him the distinguished look of a man with wisdom. Jihoon suspected it was a carefully cultivated look.
"Mr. Park, how nice of you to grace us with your presence." Dr. Choi gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
"Do you really think another test is going to tell you anything new?"
"What concerns us is that nothing seems to be working and the seizures have grown more severe," Dr. Choi said, as if lecturing a room on a medical phenomenon. "Don't you want to know what's causing this?"
Jihoon couldn't very well say he already knew. What would Dr. Choi do if Jihoon said, 'Well, I do know what's causing them. A couple months ago I fell for a grim reaper whose sister killed my dad, put my grandmother in coma, destroyed my family and probably put some dark curse on me.
That would wipe the smirk off the doctor's face.
"Fine." He shrugged. What was another brain scan in the grand scheme of things?
The tests told them nothing. And the doctor left him with vague talk of possibly trying surgery if medication kept failing.
Jihoon made his way back to his grandmaroom and plopped down in the chair beside the bed. Detective Roger had long since left, but new flowers stood on the bedside table. A cheerful sight that Jihoon barely noticed.
"Shane left without a word," Jihoon said to his grandmother. "We'll never see him again, so we shouldn't hold our breath. Right?"
He stared at his grandma, like he was waiting for an answer.
"Right," he agreed with himself.
"It's not like we haven't gone through this before. People have left before. We don't need anyone else." Jihoon laid his head on his grandmother's shoulder, careful not to put his full weight on her. "We never needed anyone but each other."
Nurse Jang found him asleep twenty minutes later.