It wasn't a long walk to Joochan's house. His mom made sure that their house is a walkable distance to his school so Joochan would spend less and have the opportunity to exercise from time to time.
I take a deep breath first before my fingers hovered over the doorbell but drop it when I saw Joochan's figure on his window.
The window was partly covered by the curtain, but it didn't conceal Joochan's face.
He stares outside, probably zoning out, but what is different is that his cheeks are stained with tears.
Should I still go in?
With that, I hesitated. Maybe it would be a wrong time to go inside. Besides, it's been a long time since I've been here, and that was when Joochan wasn't even inside their house.
Seeing him like that hurt me. What happened? Who did this to him?
He shouldn't be hurting like that.
From the window in their living room, I see his mom catching a glimpse of me outside but I quickly turn around and leave so she wouldn't call me and probably tell me to come inside.
I walk back home, asking myself if this was right.
◑
Sitting alone in a table inside a cafeteria feels both serene and bothering. Nobody tries to annoy me, yet it's too quiet for me to be actually relaxed. Silence can be comfortable or suffocating, depending on who you're with and what's happening.
Today, however, my thoughts are occupied with Joochan, as always, but today is different. I was worried. Why did Joochan cry yesterday? Was that the reason why he was absent?
I play with my fork, jabbing it randomly at my plate, spacing out.
I was pulled back to reality when someone stops by my table. "Hey, Moaning Minhee."
I look at Jaehyun's smug face and frown at him. "I see you've got a nickname for me already, how cute."
"I know, I'm very thoughtful, am I not?" Jaehyun chuckles and I shake my head at him jokingly.
"So, what are you up to? Mind telling me why you showed up in my face?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to let you know I have a nickname for you," he shrugs and chuckles. I swear this boy is the epitome of cuteness: The way his shoulders move up and down in between his laughs, the way his eyes shrink when he smiles, it all screams adorable, not like him when he's inside the court, dribbling the ball across the court, shooting it and scoring three points every time. "See you soon?"
"We're literally in the same class, Jaehyun. Of course we will," I scoff, flipping a bit of my hair. "And watch out," I pause, pointing an accusing finger on him. He raises an eyebrow. "I'll make an awesome nickname just for you too."
"I'll wait for it, and it should top your nickname. Bye, Minhee." He waves at me, holding his tray with just one hand, and I wave back, a thin grin on my lips.
And then I'm surrounded with silence again.
I sigh. It was fun when I had someone to talk to. Next time Jaehyun comes along, I'll tell him if he could sit at my table.
I look at Joochan's table. Usually, he sits with the other members of the student council, well since he's the president himself. But today, I couldn't see a Hong Joochan sitting with them. Where was he then? That was the only table he always sits in, he doesn't seem to have close acquaintances on other tables.
Why the hell is he not there?
"Looking for me?"