"Here, I finally have it," I pass Joochan his notebook the next day. The moment I came home yesterday, I rushed to search for that damn chemistry notebook and quickly put it inside my bag so I wouldn't forget it in the morning. "Where's mine?"
Joochan rubs his nape, looking to the side. "Can I...borrow it first?"
I was flabbergasted. "Huh? What for?"
"Just...reasons. And also, I don't have your notebook right now." Joochan still didn't dare to look at me. He's being awfully cute and awkward today, and I hate how my heart reacts abnormally to it.
"Are you kidding me?" I try to grab his chemistry notebook but he won't let me. "Then give that back."
"No, I need this for note-taking," Joochan retorts and it made sense. I roll my eyes at him. "You, however, don't actually need that notebook in class."
"Your point?"
"Let it be with me for a while," he sort of begs and it was obvious he was becoming shy.
"What? So you could embarrass me further?" I narrow my eyes at him, questioning why he would want that notebook. "I actually need it, that's the only thing I pay attention to in class."
"All the more need for me to take it from you, so you could focus," Joochan smiles triumphantly, winning the argument.
◐
It's so boring without my notebook.
I place my head on the desk, muting the teacher's annoying voice inside my head.
Usually at this time, I would be drawing again, mindlessly dragging the pen across a blank sheet of paper. At least it would help me be occupied and it's actually a lot better than listening to my professors.
But with Joochan keeping it, I'm forced to absorb what gibberish is on the board, and what nonsensical words are coming out from the teachers' mouth.
I glare at his back as he attentively listens, his nerdy good boy personality shining so bright.
As I remember, I was always the risk taker, the rule breaker, the bold kid and Joochan was always the scaredy-cat, the goody two-shoes, the rule-abiding kid, the obedient one. Our friendship back then was uncanny and unique. We were complete opposites. Well, I guess if I based it on the rule opposite attracts, then it was a pretty special friendship, one that was perfect.
It was really special to me.
A short giggle escapes as I reminisce a memory from our childhood.
[start of flashback]
"Chanchan, move! I want to slide down too!" I pushed him, well tried to, but he wouldn't budge.
Joochan shook, as if nervous and afraid. "But I'm scared, I don't like this ride."
"You don't like half the rides in this park because you're too scared! Now come on!" My small hands forced him to at least move an inch. It didn't help as young Joochan was too big for me back then.
He looked back at me. "Minmin, I-I can't..." He glanced down, to where the slide went to. "It's too high---"
In that short moment, I pushed him with all my might when he was busy looking down, thoughts of wanting to ride the slide too invaded my young mind. But my body went down too as I leaned forward to make him move, and it lead us tumbling down the slide.
Joochan was a crying mess and I laughed at his dirty face covered with dust and his hair decorated with small leaves around (it was really hilarious back then, but I knew I looked the same too, probably worse than he did) , making him cry harder.
[end of flashback]
I look back at the Joochan at present. He's changed a lot. He's not that same scaredycat anymore, he became stronger.
I smile. I hope he stops crying too much, too.