29. ALL IS NOT LOST
The situation improved at least marginally after that incident. Sirius did his best to neither give Harry orders nor neglect him like he had done before. He also refrained from telling Harry to stop calling him master and when Harry acted on his inner desire, he just gently took him in his arms, kissed him softly and tried to ignore both his own arousal and Harry's mostly naked state. He was getting better at it, too.
Nonetheless, he couldn't shake of the feeling that something was still terribly wrong, and whenever Harry left his sight for more than a minute, he always feared that he would once again find him dying or already dead.
Severus and Remus had also worked past their problems, and since Harry had stopped being nasty to the Potion's Master, even though he wasn't particularly warm with him either, the whole atmosphere had relaxed a little.
They were once again sitting in the living room, Sirius and Harry sharing the armchair, while Remus and Severus sat next to each other on the sofa, reading and from time to time, sharing inconspicuous caresses and chaste kisses that Severus stopped before they could become more than quick pecks of the lips. Sirius was reading another book about bonds and mates and creatures, and it was giving him a headache. Why did all those books have to say exactly the same thing? Why couldn't there be some mentioning of an exception? All he needed was a tiny bit of hope. Was that too much to ask for?
Just before he could follow through with his plan to throw the depressing book against the wall, having resigned himself to the fact that not even Harry's slender fingers massaging his temples were helping anymore, the fireplace to his right flared to life and spat out three figures, one with bushy brown, the second with flaming red and the last with wavy light brown hair. They had barely stepped away from the fireplace when a third and fourth figure, both with long blond hair, followed them.
"I didn't know we were expecting guests." Severus sneered, briefly looking up at Remus with something akin to reproach in his eyes.
"I'm just as surprised as you," Remus murmured before he addressed the newcomers, "To what do we owe - "
But he was interrupted by Hermione, who carried a heavy tome in her arms, "We found a solution! At least we think so, Sirius. Mr. Malfoy was so kind to give us all access to his library. There're so many books I had never even heard of and others that are almost impossible to find. It's really impressive and - " Ron pointedly cleared his throat, startling Hermione out of her awed laudation. " - and it took us quite a while to find this one, but I think it could really work and Sébastien agrees with me and..."
"Okay, Hermione, take a deep breath, sit down and then you can all explain your idea to us," Remus stopped her gently, while Sirius' hands tightened around the armrest of his seat. "Maybe you should tell Harry to sleep, Sirius, so that you don't cause him any distress."
"Master...?" Harry looked at him pleadingly.
"Harry, I would really like you to sleep, okay?" Sirius kissed him tenderly. "I think I'll be able to concentrate better if I'm not distracted by your beauty. Sleep, please."
"Yes, Master," Harry whispered before he closed his eyes, his head resting against Sirius chest as his breathing evened, and he drifted off to sleep.
"So, would one of you kindly fill me in?" Sirius turned expected eyes on the newcomers, after he made sure that Harry was comfortable in the armchair even without using Sirius as his pillow.
"Sirius, come take a seat and calm down," Remus ordered him, but his only reply was a ferocious glare.
"Well, I was reading that one book about bonds and the different kinds there are and at least once in every chapter it was mentioned that bonds can't be broken, which was kind of annoying and redundant and isn't really a sign of a good book, if you ask me..." Hermione started.
"I know that," Sirius snapped at her. "And I'm sick of being reminded of it so if you merely wanted to tell me once more and ruin our Christmas, you can go right now because I really have no mind for that anymore..."
"Sirius." Sébastien put a calming hand on his shoulder. "Listen to us. Bonds can not be broken, but they can be overridden by a new bond."
"I tried that," Sirius pressed out, and it was clear that what little hope he had had since their arrival had died. "Don't you think I fucking tried that?!"
"You can't negate the effects of the Master-Slave-Bond with another bond that is established through sexual intercourse," Hermione explained to him, putting the book down on the table and sounding very much like she expected Sirius to have known that already. "The bond you share is a wizard's bond, but since you're a veela, you can use one of the bonds described in this book to replace the one you already share. There're three kinds of veela bonds and one elven bond, though I'm not sure that would work since Harry isn't really... responsive right now and we have practically no idea what effect this has on his magic."
Sirius just stared at her in shock before he shakily reached out to the book. "And you think that this could really work?"
"It sounds like a good idea to me," Severus offered. "Even if Harry doesn't recover completely and never returns to the way he was before, it might help him at least a little."
"Of course, there is still a risk, Sirius," Narcissa said softly, taking her husband's hand in hers. "There is no telling what might happen and there is also a chance that Harry will not survive another bond."
"He is dying already," Sirius whispered, biting back tears. "Dying on the inside. I can feel it, there's less and less life in him with every day, less and less love for me."
"What are you talking about, Black?" Severus sneered. "He's absolutely devoted to you."
"House-elves," Sirius said with self-loathing and Harry stirred, his brow furrowing in his sleep. "I'm talking about house-elves, I'm talking about Harry. He can barely levitate his toothbrush anymore! He doesn't remember most of what he learned in school because it's not essential to pleasing me. He feels what I feel, what I want him to feel. He loved me once and I'm sure he still loves me, but it's fake and vile and painful." He carefully kneeled down in front of Harry, brushing a strand of black hair out of his face. "I have to try it."
"I hoped that you would say that," Hermione stated, extracting a role of parchment from her robe pocket. "We did some more research on the different bonds that are available to you. There's a Parent-Child Bond every veela forms with their children and which grows throughout their life, unless something happens to jeopardise their relationship." She cast a furtive look at the two Malfoys, who looked unaffected safe for the tightening of Lucius' fist and Narcissa' sharp intake of breath. "The second is a Friendship Bond, which works over the transfer of blood. You can still consider one of those if the other one doesn't work."
"Fine." Sirius tapped his fingers impatiently, "Hermione, would you come to the point?"
Ron snorted. "Not a chance, man. Merlin knows, I've tried to make her shorten her lectures more than once. But when she's in this state..."
Hermione glared at him. "That's because you only ever listen to every second word I say so that I have to say everything at least twice to make sure you understand."
"Instinct of self-preservation," Ron bit out. "No one can listen to you twenty-four/seven without going bonkers. Even Harry - "
"Ah, Harry, isn't he the reason we're here?" Sébastien thought it best to interrupt before their quarrel could escalate even more. "Sirius, the bond we think is best is this one." He leaved through the book and pointed at a chapter titled Veela Marriage. "The vast advantage of this one is that it is not established through any form of sexual intercourse or physical contact, but of course that also makes it less practical and used. To be honest, it's not exactly legal, either."
"Bugger legality," Sirius growled, and Remus sent him a disapproving glance, before he leaned closer to get a better look at the book.
"That's what we thought as well," Lucius spoke up. "I am certain that the Ministry will be willing to bend some rules in this case and if not..." he trailed off menacingly.
Sirius gave a jerky nod, his eyes darting over the page, taking in the information, which wasn't all that easy as it was written in archaic English and some of the letters had faded with time.
"It doesn't say what effects it will have on Harry," Sirius finally said, looking up at them.
"That's in a different, not very elaborate section." Hermione scowled. "But that's to be expected since the book was written by a dominant. He says that submissives will generally be more affected by the described bonds. I researched it a little and didn't find anything that would indicate the possibility of any negative effects on Harry."
"And what are the positive effects?" Sirius asked quietly.
"The bond will bind you mind and soul," Sébastien answered. "It will intertwine your magic and since it's your magic that is binding Harry right now, there's a very good chance that this new bond will completely dissolve the Master-Slave-Bond. You'll still have access to Harry's magic, and he won't be able to disobey a direct command from you, but he'll have his own feelings again. Basically, you'll have all control over him, but you'll be able to choose whether or not you want to enact it."
"How is it established?" Remus asked.
"It's a lot like a marriage," Sébastien replied. "The only reason, well, the only two reasons why it is considered slightly illegal, is that it requires the exchange of a small part of your magic through your blood. The Ministry isn't too fond of the idea of creating hybrids, though of course that won't happen. It's merely symbolic."
"What's the other reason?" Sirius asked, though he sounded more eager than truly wary.
"Well, you see, you'll have to die," Sébastien offered nervously.
"What?! Are you kidding me? I sure hope you are kidding me!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up, asking himself how he could have missed that interesting detail. "Are you telling me that the only why I can have my Harry back is to kill him?!"
"Of course not!" Hermione looked affronted. "As the ritual is supposed to bond your minds and souls, it'll be easiest to do so if you're detached from your bodies. The priest who'll conduct the ritual will make sure that your ghosts won't be able to ascend and will return safely to your bodies once you are bonded."
"And how do you suppose we die?" Sirius retorted sarcastically. "I bet someone here would just love to ram a dagger through my heart." He briefly glared at Severus, who rolled his eyes at the blatant accusation.
"Well, I would suggest a potion." Severus sneered. "A variation of the Draught of the Living Death, one that allows your ghosts to wander while you're asleep."
"You're really serious about this?" Sirius asked incredulously, glaring at the weak smile that played about Remus' lips. "Don't you dare drag my name into this and make that stupid old joke, because I really have no mind for that right now."
"I think you should consider it," Remus murmured soothingly. "Of course it's a risk, but it's about the only chance we still have. Look at Harry, Paddy, you said yourself that he isn't doing well. I can understand if you don't want to do this, but at least think about it before you dismiss the idea, okay?"
"What are you talking about, wolf?" Severus snapped at him. "It's not okay. I had to listen to Black's constant declarations about how he would do anything for Harry and that none of us has an inkling of an idea how much he loves him, that he would take all his pains and would die for him and now you tell him, it's okay to back out when it's getting serious? Where is your stupid Gryffindor courage and loyalty that you pride yourself on now, hm? You're pathetic, Black. A pathetic, lying coward. I wouldn't hesitate - "
"Severus, please, you aren't really helping matters," Remus tried to appease him, but the Potion's Master just glared at him before sweeping from the room.
"I'm going to make that potion in case Black should find his grit under all that egoism."
Sirius' eyes followed the Potion's Master, but he didn't voice the sharp retort he had in mind. Snape just didn't understand him, he didn't understand how afraid he was that this would harm Harry even more and he couldn't understand how much he loved Harry because Snape was a neutral and not a veela or an elf or even a werewolf. His feelings weren't as intense and so he couldn't possibly understand why he wasn't jumping at the chance. Was it a chance? He wasn't so sure, but if he was honest with himself he wasn't sure about anything anymore. Maybe Snape was right and it was cowardly to hesitate in such a situation, but on the other hand, he thought that it was rather comprehensible to be afraid of death.
He had hesitated, but not any longer. No, Harry needed him and he needed Harry and whether in life or in death they would be together, and Harry would be happy again.
He carefully bent and scooped up the light boy, cradling him in his arms. Harry had become so frail and his face that had once looked like the face of a china doll, now held dark circles on papery white skin. Small beads of sweat covered the creased forehead. No, this was not a life.
"Can Dumbledore bond us?" he asked, and Lucius nodded. "I'll get him to Hogwarts then. I don't think we have much time to spare."
"We already made all the necessary arrangements, Sirius." Narcissa smiled at him, and even though her smile was a bit strained it was genuine enough, and Sirius was suddenly reminded that she was his cousin and that she, unlike the rest of their family, had never shown hate or even just dislike for him; it was a comforting thought.
"I'll best bring Severus this recipe," Lucius stated. "Though he will most likely scoff at it."
"When can we do it?" Sirius asked, trying to conceal his nervous apprehension.
"This evening," Sébastien told him, offering him the box with the Floo powder, and moved to brush a strand of hair out of Harry's pale face.
Sirius growled at him, spinning around and hiding Harry against his chest. The siren looked surprised for a moment, but then smiled understandingly at him and took a step back, giving Sirius more room. The stormy grey eyes just kept glaring at him as Sirius stepped backwards into the fireplace as if he didn't trust him to not pull something while his back was turned. The green flames flared up once more and swallowed the two of them.