24. KIDNAPPING YOU
The tall, slightly lanky man with the bluish black hair and the storm-grey eyes nervously shifted on his seat. He felt like a giant was slowly, and with explicit pleasure, squeezing the life out of him like you would do with a citron, only that this citron was still alive and didn't like to be squeezed or used for a salad dressing or to make your food a bit more delicious.
Sirius shook his head to get rid of that mental image and focused on the task before him: reading. Now he could read and he was sure the book wasn't half bad, either, but still his mind kept wandering to other things, namely his mate, whom he hadn't seen in the last three days. Well, he had seen him, but Harry was always fast asleep.
He thought that he would have been able to deal with the situation much better if he had something to do as well. He wasn't a sit-at-home-person; he didn't like to have nothing to do and after sixteen years in Azkaban, he had been enthusiastic to get out and work again. The only problem with that was that no one wanted to employ him, whether they believed him to be innocent or not.
Some certainly still clung to the belief that a dark and obviously evil family like the Blacks couldn't possibly have produced a light or at least decent heir, and even if he may be guiltless in the act of killing the Potters and all those Muggles, it didn't mean that he didn't commit other crimes. Others believed in his innocence but thought it was too risky to employ him because no one could possibly survive so many years in Azkaban with his sanity intact. The last group, finally, thought that he was a nice enough guy and would be able to do the jobs he applied for, even commented on how well qualified he was for them, but thought he should take a time-out to enjoy his time with Harry.
Only Harry wasn't there. Harry was off to training with Lucius or Remus or Snape or Dumbledore or McGonagall or the Aurors. He was always training, and they nearly pushed him to exhaustion. More than once, one of his teachers had levitated or carried Harry back to their rooms because the submissive was too tired to walk himself. Sirius considered himself lucky if Harry had enough strength left to send him a sleepy smile.
He understood that Harry had to prepare for Voldemort's next attack that was no doubt to come, and he saw the progress Harry made, but he could also feel how strained their bond had become. It was like a rope under constant pressure: First, it held strong, but with time it frayed, and then it would finally crack and tear. He knew that their rope was already starting to fray.
He angrily threw the innocent and unread book against the wall, cursing under his breath. He wanted his mate. He wanted a job as well, but most of all he wanted his mate. He would get a job eventually, it was only a matter of time, but he couldn't wait much longer for Harry. He wasn't willing to wait much longer.
It was also important that Harry and he strengthened their connection. Why couldn't they see? He had tried to explain it to Dumbledore, and Remus and even Snape had tried to help him, but the old man had merely twinkled at them, offered them lemon drops and told them that everything would turn out fine.
Remus sometimes let him stay during his lessons, but as Harry was supposed to get immune to the werewolf's presence, Sirius had been excluded more often than not. Snape never let him stay, claiming that they needed to concentrate and that Sirius would only disturb them. He had no idea what Lucius did with Harry during their lessons, and this fact alone was slowly but surely driving him insane. McGonagall always allowed him to assist her, but Harry only seldom had lessons with her since the Deputy Headmistress had many other duties to attend to. The Aurors sometimes let Sirius watch, but that was still not enough for him.
He sighed deeply. Maybe he could go and pay a visit to Remus? Harry was training with the Aurors right now, and as it was only two days after the full moon, Remus had been freed from teaching. It would be better than sitting there and doing nothing, he decided and got up with another heavy sigh. Remus was always cranky after the full moon, but he thought that they fit each other perfectly. At least someone else was feeling bad as well.
His steps echoed along the surprisingly empty hallways. Without really noticing, he gathered the shadows around him to hide from the few students he passed on his way. He was so lost in thought that he barely noticed his feet passing Remus' door or the cold wind that suddenly hit his face.
His strides lengthened as he felt the proximity to his mate. A low growl erupted from his throat and even before his head snapped up to find out where he had landed himself, two balls of ice had thrown the two Aurors, who had been attacking Harry, off balance and he was quickly carrying his mate away from the slightly dazed and paralysed men into the direction of the Forbidden Forest.
Harry didn't seem to be too averse to being kidnapped and after a short moment of shock, happily snuggled into the veela, smiling to himself. Sirius hadn't forgotten him.
The veela walked with Harry in his arms for more than ten minutes, carefully ducking under low hanging branches and pressing Harry close to his body, until he had finally calmed down enough to allow the rational part of his mind a little say in what he should do now.
He found an old beech tree with thick, strong roots that formed something like a natural booth and slid down on it, with his arms still safely wrapped around Harry's frail form. He pulled his own cloak around the petite elf, fearing that his mate could feel cold, and then reverently began to map Harry's face with his lips.
Harry purred happily as Sirius' lips ghosted over hisz face, caressing, brushing, nipping ever so slightly so as not to leave marks on the sensitive skin that bruised so easily as Sirius knew.
Harry's soft giggle broke Sirius out of his trance-like state, and he drew back slightly to be able to look into Harry's glittering eyes. "I missed you," he declared, not exactly sure why he wanted Harry to know it, needed him to know it.
"I missed you, too." Harry smiled at him. "But I must admit that kidnapping never crossed my mind."
"Well, it was more of a spur of the moment decision, you know?" Sirius returned defensively. "I just wanted to have you in my arms."
The smaller wizard grinned at him as if the whole thing had been his plan all along and he just left Sirius in the thought that he had come up with it himself, like you would offer the happiness of triumph to a small child who did not yet understand the careful machination which had lead to their success.
Sirius cocked his head slightly, studying Harry carefully. "You don't seem too surprised, though."
"Why would I?" Harry replied still with that secret little smile tugging his lips. "I may have been exhausted these last few weeks, but you're my mate and you'll always be my first priority. I knew that you weren't too happy about my constant absence."
The veela wasn't yet satisfied with Harry's response and made to further question him when something struck him. "You called me your mate. You never did that before. It was always 'my dominant' or just 'Sirius'."
Harry blushed faintly. "I'm sorry. I thought it was okay."
"It's more than okay!" Sirius exclaimed, caressing Harry's cheek lovingly. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this."
"It isn't a big deal." Harry blinked. "Is it?"
"It means something to me, though it may not to you," Sirius explained. "You remember when I signed the documents that claimed you as my mate? I said then that it was like an engagement, but you always said that you weren't sure that I'm your mate as well." Sirius fleetingly brushed his lips over Harry. "That's why it's so important to me. It's like you finally accepted my proposal."
"But you never really asked me to marry you so how could I have said yes?" Harry asked uncertainly, and Sirius drew back in shock.
"You're right. Merlin, I've been an inconsiderate brat! I never left you a choice, did I?"
Harry shook his head. "We both know I wouldn't have had much of a choice, anyway."
"That still doesn't excuse what I did or rather didn't do," Sirius retorted fiercely, and Harry looked up at him, a tad bit scared. "I want to do everything right with you."
Harry just looked a him with wide green eyes that shone in the dim light of the forest, and Sirius noticed the last thing he wanted to see in them: fear. Harry should never fear him! A small wince shook Harry's form as Sirius moved his hands to close around Harry's waist, and the veela mentally berated himself.
"Never fear me, Harry," he beseeched him urgently.
"I don't," Harry said softly. "You do a lot of things right, Sirius. I feel good when you're with me. I just don't like it when you're angry because I can't really distinguish whom you're angry with. I always think it's my fault. I can't stop it."
"Harry, have I ever been angry with you?" Sirius looked at him, and Harry shrugged helplessly. "I haven't, Harry. You're much too cute and much too sweet and much too beautiful and much too perfect as that I could feel anything but all-consuming love and adoration for you. I love you."
Harry beamed, tilting his head slightly to ask for a kiss. Sirius only too willingly complied, cupping Harry's face as his tongue caressed the soft lips that timidly opened to grant him access. The small elf mewled with happiness, his slender arms slipping around Sirius' waist as he melted into the loving touch.
"Harry? I guess we should get back." Sirius sighed after a while, still caressing Harry's cheeks with his thumbs. "Before these Aurors tell the Minister that I'm obviously dangerous and need to be shipped off to Azkaban again."
Harry pouted a little, but gave a resigned sigh. "Yeah, I guess. I just thought we could spend some time together."
Sirius cocked an eyebrow, studying Harry's pale face. "You expected something like this to happen, didn't you?"
"I... yes." Harry nodded nervously. "I thought that if I wished hard enough for it, that if I concentrated on you, that you would come. Lucius said I should try out my elf charm, and you said I should only try it on you." He looked pleadingly at the taller wizard. "Are you angry?"
Sirius chuckled deeply. "Of course not, Harry. I'm somewhat flattered, you know, and relieved that you still want me. I think I would have done something sooner or later, but I was planning something more along the lines of a nice dinner together."
"Yeah, well." Harry blushed. "I never expected you to kidnap me. I just wanted to give you a bit more motivation to work out a plan."
Sirius laughed again, this time louder, before he tenderly kissed Harry on the lips. "Since we are already here, we might just as well take a little walk and enjoy our time together. They won't die from worrying a little."
"I can send them a message," Harry offered timidly, looking around for a suitable messenger.
He spotted a happily chirping bird on a tree nearby and held out his hand. The little bird flew down and landed on his hand, and Harry cupped it gently, brushing his fingertips over the blue feathers.
"I can send her to Remus," Harry stated, looking at Sirius. "Do you think that will calm him down?"
"Hmm, wait a minute." Sirius shuffled through his pockets until he found a piece of parchment and after it became clear that he would find nothing to write with, he quickly transformed into his Animagus form and padded over to a puddle of mud.
After he had got his left paw sufficiently dirty, he pressed it onto the parchment, leaving a muddy print on it. He then turned back and dried the paper with his wand before handing it to Harry.
"That will tell him that we're fine and that I'm with you," Sirius stated, watching in fascination as Harry persuaded the small bird to carry the makeshift letter to the castle. "Maybe he can delay the search parties for a while longer."
Harry smiled happily at that, holding out his hand so that Sirius would help him up and then allowed himself to be tugged under the older wizard's arm. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as they walked under the age-old trees but didn't venture too far into the heart of the forest. Harry relished the silence and the quietude Sirius made him feel. He was no longer made to think of possible strategies or forced to remember counter curses. He didn't have to think of the war or of what Voldemort would do to him if he ever got his hands on him. With Sirius, all of his worries were pushed into the background, and his beautiful mate was all he could think of.
It was a feeling he knew that he wouldn't like if he were to consider it with more depth and with an eye that wasn't clouded by love and his submissive nature. He didn't want to turn into one of those air-headed bimbos who clung to their boyfriends and were so obsessed with them that they forgot to live their own lives.
"What are you worrying about?" Sirius asked when he noticed the crease that appeared between Harry's eyebrows, reaching out to caress it away.
"I think I miss my old life," Harry murmured but leant into Sirius' hand. "I love you, I really do and I can't imagine living without you, but it would be great to not constantly be afraid and to make my own decisions again. I never was like this, Sirius. But I guess it was too much to ask that at least one aspect of my life stayed normal, that my character wasn't clipped and squeezed to fit into the parameters of a submissive elf! But I guess, I am what I am: A stupid submissive elf with an ex-convict as a mate, and all because Voldemort decided to measure his strength with a baby. Sometimes I just want to be normal."
"You always were extraordinary." Sirius gently leaned down to kiss him. "Voldemort had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with it. Did you know that when James and Lily brought you to an Order meeting for the first time, everyone wanted to hold you and coo at you. They were all so taken with you; they loved you, they never wanted to give you away again. Even Snape smiled. Can you imagine? He smiled at you. And it wasn't even one of his venomous little smirks because everyone acted like crazy; he smiled because you smiled at him. And I don't really have to tell you how obsessed I was and am with you, do I? I baby-sat you practically every day, and even when James and Lily didn't have anything planned, I came to visit just to spend time with you.
"Don't get me wrong, I certainly didn't think of you like I do now, but I loved you because you had the ability to lighten up a room, to take all our worries and make them seem irrelevant and small; because you were the cutest baby ever." He grinned. "You were our muse, Harry, whenever we had no strength left to fight, when we had lost someone, when we were despairing, you gave us new hope. And that was long before you survived Voldemort's Killing Curse.
"Believe me, you were a special baby and you've grown into an amazing young man. Voldemort's fall was only the event that made everyone else realise it as well. I can understand that you don't want to be afraid anymore, and I wish I could do more for you, but you have to take into consideration that this is also new for me. I'm doing my best, and it will get better, I swear, just give me a bit more time, give us a bit more time and give yourself a bit more time."
"It's just so frustrating." Harry pouted. "And that I hardly see you doesn't make it any better."
Sirius' arm slid lower and came to rest around his waist as he pulled Harry closer. "I'll talk with Dumbledore about it. It's all well and good that he wants to prepare you, but he shouldn't tire you out, and I can feel how strained our bond has become. Do you feel that, too?"
"I think so." Harry looked up at him. "I never felt the bond like you do so I don't know whether it's weakening or not."
He didn't mention the pain he had felt for a while now, nor the pain he had absorbed from Sirius. What good would it do to worry him even more? It wasn't anything he couldn't deal with, and if he told him, Sirius wouldn't allow him to take his pain anymore. Besides, the pain was something he almost cherished because it linked him with Sirius, because it was something Sirius felt and which therefore told him that Sirius was still there and waiting for him.
He smiled a little when he felt Sirius' concerned eyes land on him, tilting his face upward to captured a few more rays of sunlight. Sirius smiled as well, pulling Harry a little closer.
"You are beautiful," he murmured, awe-struck as Harry's eyes gleamed with happiness.
"I love the forest," Harry murmured, his fingertips lovingly brushing over the bark of a tree. "It's so full of life."
"Jamie loved it, too," Sirius returned with a sigh. "You're really so alike. He would have been so proud of you - and he would have killed me for thinking of you the way I am, but eventually he would have given me his blessings." He laughed softly. "He was very protective of you, you know? Like I am."
Harry smiled a bit sadly and pressed closer to the taller wizard. "Tell me more about them, please?"
"They loved you very, very much," Sirius said softly, placing a kiss in Harry's hair. "James didn't stop smiling for over a week after you were born. He didn't sleep, either." He chuckled again. "He time and time again went to check up on you. I think he was almost happy when you cried out for him so that he had a reason to coddle you. Lily had to nearly threaten him so that she could feed you. He was really madly in love with you, and he was a great father. I never would have believed it.
"He even grew up and took responsibility: He set up a trust fund for you, paid for your schooling in Hogwarts, charmed all the edges and sharp objects in the house so that there was no chance of you getting hurt. He dragged us all to a baby-sitting class and he insisted that we all passed with honours before he even considered leaving you in our care.
"I think it was Lily's idea to be honest. She sang to you every evening, and you wouldn't fall asleep until she had kissed you goodnight. She had a beautiful voice, you know, and she was beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You're like her in that aspect." He grinned impishly at the blush that spread over Harry's pale cheeks and leaned down to kiss him.
Harry's hands timidly reached up, framing his face and brushing over the few wrinkles Azkaban had left around his mouth and his eyes as if trying to smooth them again. He almost seemed angry before his expression softened again and turned into one of love and the utmost devotion. Sirius' breath caught in his throat, and his heart started beating furiously as he pulled Harry against his chest. How could he deserve someone like this? He had never done anything exceedingly altruistic and had hardly done anything to improve his karma. He had been an outright bully in school and he still thought that Snape wasn't faultless, either. He had used his charm to his advantage. He had rarely helped others unless Remus ordered him to. He had deliberately tried to annoy his parents and had always defied authority. And now he should be graced with this little angel? He didn't deserve Harry, but, by Merlin, he would do anything to become the best person he could possibly be. No one would take his Harry away from him!
"Why are you thinking such dark thoughts?" Harry asked with gentle reproach. "You'll give both of us a headache."
"Sorry," Sirius murmured sheepishly, and Harry laughed.
"You make me very happy, Sirius."
The veela's face brightened at that, and he carefully ran his fingers through Harry's silky black hair, humming softly, before he asked as casually as possible, "What's with you and that Sébastien guy, anyway?"
"What about him?" Harry returned. "He sometimes assists Lucius, and Ron and Hermione like him."
"Well, do you like him?" Sirius questioned, and Harry looked a bit confused.
"Of course I like him. He's really nice and always friendly and he's always willing to help me or anyone else." He sighed. "It's so unfair that he lost his mate. The way he still talks about Aaron, I don't doubt that Sébastien was the perfect dominant."
Sirius growled warningly. "Not for you, he's not and he better not be endangering you, too. It's bad enough he killed his own mate, he has no business with mine."
"Sirius Orion Black! I can't believe you just said that." Harry jerked back, glaring fiercely at him. "He lost his mate because Aaron was sick and I think he can expect at least a little sympathy! No, don't touch me!
"I'm so angry at you right now. I can deal with your jealousy, but this was outright heartless." His hands trembled in anger. "Sébastien has been nothing but nice and obliging, and I'm very grateful to him for staying here and supporting me even though he has absolutely nothing to gain from it.
"He knows that you are my mate and he respects that. He, for one, knows how important you're to me, how much I love you. He understands me, better than you or anyone else, and that has nothing to do with my feelings for him. It's because he knows how it is if everything is taken out of your hands and you can do nothing but wait and hope that somehow everything will turn out for the best because you can do absolutely nothing. He understands how it feels to love someone so hard that it hurts, even if that someone is a complete jerk. He just understands me.
"He has himself better under control than Lucius or even Remus because he always carries that pain with him. When I'm with him, I feel like I'm in control, like I really have a choice and I feel safe. Can you even image how much that means to me?
"You were hardly around and I know it is not your fault, but when you aren't there I'm always close to hyperventilating and it hurts. You don't want me to have someone to soothe me? Fine, forbid it, but if I ever hear you say something so callous and cruel again, we're through. I don't care if I need you, I won't be together with a heartless idiot."
"Harry..."
"I think we should get back to the castle." Harry turned around, skilfully avoiding Sirius' embrace and started walking.
"Harry..." Sirius tried again, looking extremely guilty. "Look, I'm sorry."
"I'm sure they're already worried," Harry stated, fastening his pace.
Sirius felt how Harry's indifferent tone chipped away neat pieces of his heart with every word. He hadn't meant for it to sound like that, damnit! That siren wasn't all that bad, if he would only stay away from his Harry! He did feel sorry for Sébastien for losing his mate, but that didn't mean that he would share his mate with him, no matter how perfect Harry thought him to be. Harry was his, whether he liked it or not - though he really wanted him to like it. Why couldn't he just take it as a compliment, anyway? He half-heartedly glared at the small elf and was very tempted to just order Harry to stop, listen to him and forgive him, but knew that that would be horribly unfair to his beautiful mate.
He might not be able to understand Harry's anger and he might see it as unjustified and unreasonable, but Harry had as much right to be angry as anyone else. He sighed deeply. He hadn't wanted for their sparse time together to end with a fight!
Harry smelled so delicious and looked so sweet and moved so gracefully. His voice had been so reassuring, so melodious and soft, caressing his frayed nerves and soothing his anger at being separated for so long. And the way his fingers had skimmed over his heated skin, how his lips had quivered under his before admitting him entrance, how perfectly Harry's body fit against his, how it would feel to take him wholly -
He shook his head, admonishing himself. He really should think of a way to earn Harry's forgiveness and not indulge in horny fantasies, which did nothing to supply his brain with enough blood to give him with a genius idea.
"Harry..." he tried again, but trailed off uncertainly when he saw Harry's body tense.
The green-eyed Gryffindor took a step back towards Sirius and half turned around as a cool voice stopped him. "Harry dear, do come here."
Sirius frantically looked around for the owner of the voice, momentarily forgetting that he had his wand again and thus drawing it too late. Someone pressed their wand against the hollow of his throat as a tall blond stepped out from behind a tree. The blond wizard had cold silver eyes and a slightly pointed chin. But Sirius didn't need to look at him to know that this was Draco Malfoy, Lucius' son and Harry's tormentor. Harry had gone utterly pale, his eyes widening and his pupils dilating in fear as he began to shake.
"Come on, little slut, didn't you hear me?" A malicious smile was playing about the blond's thin lips. "I hate to repeat myself, you know that. Come here."
"No, Harry, don't!" Sirius shouted, struggling against the magical bindings and the Leg-Locker Curse that had been put on him and kept him rooted to the spot. "Flee, Harry, run, escape. Don't listen to him!"
Harry's green eyes locked onto his, and he could see them water in pain as the submissive tried to move and obey his command. His mouth opened in a silent plea, and Sirius strengthened his efforts to overcome the curses. Harry whimpered as Malfoy repeated his order in a deathly whisper, and Sirius could only watch in horror as Harry fainted, crumpling to the ground.
Malfoy's smirk widened as he approached the fallen sub and unceremoniously picked him up, addressing Sirius. "Hello, Black. I had heard word that you replaced me as Harry's dominant, but this is really too touching. How foolish of you to get attached to someone like this, though I admit he's rather pleasing to the eye, isn't he? And so very talented with his mouth... Too bad for you that you'll never be able to bury yourself in that tight little ass." He brutally pinched Harry's arse cheek for emphasise, laughing loudly as Sirius growled at him. "On the other hand, I'm sure the Dark Lord wouldn't mind giving me my reward in that currency."
"Don't you dare touch my mate," Sirius threatened, quite uselessly as he realised himself; Malfoy only smirked and then demonstratively slipped one pale, long-fingered hand down the back of Harry's jeans.
Sirius hissed, straining against the magic holding him as colourful insults and threats spewed from his mouth, many of them courtesy to his mother.
Malfoy allowed this for a moment, basking in Sirius' helplessness and his position of power, before he turned to glare at the four other Death Eaters that were surrounding Sirius, their wands trained on the Animagus. "Stun him and take him with you. We can't risk him warning the old coot and his stupid little order."
The dark-haired veela saw a wand pointing at him out of the corner of his eye, he renewed his struggles, his eyes burning into the vile creature, which dared to touch his mate and look at him with those lustful and eager glances. He would make him pay, tear him to shreds, peel that smirk from his handsome face together with his lips, wrench his intestines from his still breathing body and let him watch as he - A beam of red light blinded him for a second and then he knew no more.