I sit back down in my recliner, taking calming breaths. I don't need this stress. Lynol comes to sit on the arm of the worn Brown chair but doesn't say anything. But what can he say? My ex just threatened to come for me. And I encouraged him.
"You leaving again?" I ask him. He sighs, hearing the edge in my voice. But can he blame me? Left without telling me and then didn't even bother to call. "Just to the club house for a while. The guys wanted to check on you and the baby." Oh. But he didn't. Ok.
"Doctor says any minute now." I pat my swollen stomach. Now would be nice.
"Ooh. Mikeys gonna have a cousin." Kale gushes. It still amazes me how a bad ass biker will fall to his knees over a baby. I smile.
"Yeah. Only about 6 months apart."
Lynol pecks my lips before getting up. Didn't even say sorry he missed an appointment that he didn't know about because he never bothered to call. I nod.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
Lynols been gone all damn night and I think Sydneys on her way. The moon shines through my dark blue curtains. I call him for the billionth time with no answer, a knot forming in my stomach from the memory of why he didn't answer last time I blew up his phone. But he wouldn't do that right? Im just being hormonal.
I climb in the truck with great effort and drive over to the club house. I could drive myself to the hospital but I want Lynol with me. He's put so much time into making sure she's alright and her room is set up. I would think he'd want to be there when she's born. None of the guys are in sight with the exception of a few prospects at the bar. The rest are probably with some bimbo. Except, Kale, of course. Never Kale. The thought doesn't ease the dread rooted in my gut.
I make my way to lynols room and hear moaning. A lot like the moans I heard months ago coming from this very room. I was right. I kick open the door, which isn't easy pregnant, to see him dick deep in Lillian's ass. He jumps from the sound of his shattered door, causing Lil to squeal in pain. "Seriously?" I gasp with instant tears. Of course. I was stupid to think he would stay with a bitch who was pregnant, with a baby that isn't even his, and couldn't offer more than head and hand jobs.
I back away from a startled naked Lynol and a smirking Lil. "Margo!" He calls for me as I turn away. My breaths are short and shallow. I Can't breathe.
I see Pat from the corner or my eye as I collapse near the front door. "Margo." He catches me.
"Shes coming." I look at the puddle below me.
"Shit." He lifts me up, much to my impressment, and puts me in the truck. Lynol rushes out in unbuttoned jeans and no shirt. I watch him make a try in my direction and Pat punches him in the face. I'm sure he will pay for punching his president later.
I groan as a contraction hits. Pat jumps in and starts lynols truck. Leaving Lynol in the dust.
"It's time to push, Margo." The doctor shouts. I push with an ear popping scream. Pat squeezes my hand back, taking me crushing his hand lightly. "Another." He orders. I push again. Oh god, all the remarks I made about her hurrying up and now I wish she'd had stayed a little longer for an epidural. "One more. A big one." He says.
Pat looks down between my legs and smiles. The action not weird and the sight not foreign to either of us. "Shes beautiful. Come on, Go Go." Pat encourages. I take a deep breath and push one last time and sigh in relief when I feel shes out. She starts wailing and I know the club is out in the hall can hear.
"Let me see." I reach out. They wrap her up in a soft white blanket with silk on the edges, much like Lynol's, and hand her to me. She looks up at me with John's brown eyes.
"Shes so beautiful." I whisper. I bounce her a little and she calms.
"Would the Uncle like to cut the cord?" The blonde nurse comes over. It should be Lynol here. Should be Lynol who brought me. Should have been Lynol who held my hand. And it should be Lynol who cuts Sydneys cord. Pat looks at me for permission and I nod. But if Lynol cared, he would have been home. He would have answered. And he wouldn't have been with Lil. Again.
Pat takes her outside to the club after shes weighed and measured. I hear a bunch of cheers. I throw my head back into the pillow and close my eyes.
Suddenly beeping goes off but I don't have enough energy to look up. I hear voices but can't make out what they're saying. I feel myself moving. When I open my eyes, I'm in the hallway being rushed past the club. A worried looking Lynol holding Sydney and Pat living up to his road name.
§°§°§°§°§°§°§°§°§°§°§°§°§°§°§
I pick up Sydney from the little plastic cradle and nestle her to my chest. So glad we get to leave today. The doctors said my body crashed like that because of some complication somewhere I don't know. I couldn't understand a word.
"Ready?" Pat leans on the door frame.
"Yeah." I swing the pink diaper bag over my shoulder that the hospital gave me and follow him out to the truck where the baby's car seat is strapped in. At some point, I'll have to give Lynol back his truck. Then I have to find a way to get a car. Probably a loan. Once I'm home, I'll start packing his shit, too. I'm not dealing with another cheater all the while trying to escape the last one.
Pat helps me get Sydney asleep, covering her up with Lynols blanket. I sigh. "You got this." My best friend pats my back. I smile gratefully at him. I will figure it out.
×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.
Sydney doesn't cry often at night. She's a sound sleeper, especially if I put her in the bed with me. Pat and Kale keep nagging me to see her so I decided after a week of hogging her to myself, I'd take her over there while I run some errands.
"Margo!" Pat grabs me in a hug.
"Hey." I bounce Sydney up to wave at Pat.
"Say hi, Uncle Pat Pat." I take her little hand and wave. Pat grins.
"Margo!" Kale rushes over with Mikey.
"Hey." I smile at Mikey.
"You staying?" Kale asks me, glancing awkwardly towards where Lynol stands watching me.
"Nope. Dropping off Sydney with Panik." I use his road name to show respect.
"Ah." He nods.
"Margo." Pat looks at me. "You still haven't let go." He nods to my daughter. Oh.
"Right." I say but still don't let her go. He pulls her from my arms. I watch her for a minute before Pat orders me to leave. I flip him off before leaving. Not spearing Lynol a glance.
I got the loan. A little less than what Lynol got but it will make a pretty dent in what I owe him. I'll be in debt for a little while but I'll make it work. I take what little money I've saved and buy an older mustang for a few hundred down and a hundred a month. I'll be a little tight on money for a while but I WILL make it work.
I'm finished by noon and am itching for Sydney but I want to give Pat and Kale more time. Trying to think back to what I would do back home in a normal day, I decide I could use a workout. I didn't gain a lot of said with Sydney but it wouldn't hurt to get back into shape before going back to work as a cop.
Around 3, I go back to the club house, expecting to have to rip my baby from Pat's arms. Only I find her with Ed. Lynol beside him on the couch playing with Sydney. "Ain't this a sight to see." I tease Ed. He rolls his eyes but smiles. He hands her to me.
"Hi." I coo to her. She smiles.
"Don't leave!" Pat runs from the bathroom.
"I can't. I need a ride." I drove Lynol back his truck so I need a ride back home. I strap sydney in her car seat and Pat takes her to his truck.
Grabbing Lynol's keys from my pocket and the envelop from my sports bra, I hand them to him. "Thanks for the help. I'll get the rest later." I mutter and head towards the door.
"I don't want the money!" He shouts, following me.
"Then give it to Lillian." I snap, not stopping. He grabs my arm and I turn and slap him. So sick of being man handled. He lets me go, using his hand to touch the red hand print I've left on his beautifully sculpted face.
"I am changing everything into my damn name and I am going to pay you back so that I don't owe you a damn thing!" I yell in his face. He takes a deep breath and steps away. The bad ass part of him surfacing.
"She is my daughter! Mine! You can't take her away from me." His omission makes my heart melt. But he's still a cheating jack ass.
"I'm not taking her away, Lynol. You can see her whenever you want. She is here because of you. But I don't want anything from you." I turn away and go to the truck with my daughter. Pat stares at Lynol for a long minute before climbing in too and taking us home.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××
3 months later
I drop off Sydney with a kiss at the club house with Lynol. He accepts her happily and kisses her forehead. "Hi, my little baby." He grins, melting my heart. God, he is such a good father. But an awful boyfriend.
"Good luck on your first day." Lynol says to me as I take the bag from around my shoulders.
"Thank you. Where can I put this?" I motion to Sydney's bag.
"My room." He swings his head in the direction, like I didn't know. But I just zip my lips and hurry in that direction while he walks into the kitchen with Sydney.
His room is a mess, which is unusual. Out of habit, I start picking up clothes thrown around the room and throw them in a hamper. The thought of how they got thrown around giving me antipathy. Nevermind that. I ruffle some of his pillows and try to straighten out his black blanket across his king sized bed.
My heart stops at the sight of leather. A cut tangled up in the sheets. But not just any cut. A "Property of Lynol" cut for an old lady. For Lil.