Fumbling my phone out of my pocket, I franticly call Pat. He answers on the 2nd ring.
"Margo?" He sounds worried. Why's he always sound worried when I call?
"They're drug testing me, Pat. Out of no where. And I'm the only one. I'm gonna fail and they're gonna take Sydney away and-" He cuts off my rambling.
"Wait! Margo, slow down. What the fucks happening? A drug test? Why isn't anyone else taking one?" He asks. I hear Lynol cursing in the background demanding to know what's going on.
"I don't know. Internal affairs just showed up. Pat, what do I do?" I panic.
"Margo?" Blake comes in.
I hang up my phone instantly. "Are you ok?" She asks sincerely.
"No. A fucking drug test. And I'm the only one. This is bullshit." I shout.
"Calm down. Legally, you have three days to take one. They can't force you. Tell them you want to use that right. Go!" She urges. Why is she helping me.
"Even in three days I'm not going to pass. I smoked a few blunts yesterday. I'm so stupid."
"Ok. Give it here." She goes into the stall and reappears with the cup full of piss.
"I'll be by the club after work." She says as I leave the bathroom in a daze. My phones starts buzzing in my pocket. At my desk the internal affairs detectives wait with my lieutenant. I hand them the empty cup. "Detective Tanner." My lieutenants voice is strained. "Here."
"Thank you. Until the results come back in, you should go home." One of the men say.
"What? Why? What is going on here?" I ask.
"We received concerns from another fellow officer about your sobriety. And with everything you have going on..."
He means being in cohorts with the Holy Rebel MC. I hold back a bitter laugh and just collect my purse.
As soon as I take my first step down, tears fall and I quickly try to wipe them away. My phones starts buzzing again and I answer. "Babe. What's going on?" Lynols not even mad I called Panik first.
"I'm on mandatory leave." I sob. He swears and I hear a loud crash.
"I'm coming."
He pulls up 10 minutes later and hugs me as I cry. My life is going to shit. As soon as it started to get better. I had Lynol and Sydney and a job. I was happy and then it all fucking crumbled. He rubs my back.
"I want Sydney. We have to go get her. They're probably gonna notify protective services, Lynol. I wasn't gonna pass that drug test without Blake and they're gonna see that you're in a club and my door and-" He cuts me off just as Pat had earlier.
"Shh. We'll figure it out. Did you already take the test?" He asks. I shake my head and explain what Blake had did.
"Good. We should be in clear, babe. Calm down. The door will be fixed and Sydney has to stay with Ma. It's safer. This could be your ex." He reasons. I take a deep breath.
He takes us back to the club and orders Panik and Kale to go fix my door and add more locks. And to baby proof anything that may be a hazard just in case social services does show up. I go to his room and silently pace in anxiety while Lynol talks to some of the guys.
This could have been his rat too. They think maybe if they push me enough I'll cave and help them take down the club. Or it could be John trying to ruin everything so I give up and go back to him. Fuck dammit.
Tired of just standing around, I start to clean Lynols room. Starting with the bed sheets and making my way to the floors and bathroom. It's not like him to be so messy. When I first met him, his room was spotless. I come across the "Property of Lynol" patch and sit on the bed to just stare at it.
If he wanted me to be his old lady then why'd he go cheat at a time when I needed him the most? I trace the white stitching around the edges, picturing what I would look like in this? Like Lynol actually cared.
His door opens and he saunters in, stopping short when he sees what I'm holding. He closes the door behind him and sits beside me on his bed. He chuckles as he fingers the sheets.
"Everything good?" I ask awkwardly. He nods and takes the cut from me before tossing it in the floor. My heart falls with it.
"Don't do that." I go to pick it up but he grabs me.
"Dont! You don't deserve it!" He shouts. I gasp and back away from him.
"Lynol." I whisper. He just shakes his head and sets his hard gaze on his blank dark walls. What did I ever do? I didn't cheat. I let him see Sydney. I try to be civil. While he parades around with the very reason were not together.
"You don't deserve it." He repeats. "You don't deserve me. Or this club. You deserve so much better. Shit. I'm no better than your ex. Fucking messed up. Bad. And I ruined every fucking thing just as it was getting good. All because I got scared." He shouts then punches the solid wall. Blood instantly starts flowing. I reach for his hand but he moved away.
"Scared of what?" I ask quietly.
"Everything was getting so real. You. And the baby. Our baby. We were putting up the crib and you mentioned your divorce and it hit me that this is real. And I just thought about how fucking happy we were and then I thought back to what Kale had said. About tainting what's good with what we are. What we do. And I got scared and jumped on the chance to leave. And when we got back I wasn't thinking straight. And Lil just presented herself and I accepted the distraction. Went back to what I was used to. And I regret every day. Every time I see the hurt and anger in your eyes when you look at me. When I see our daughter and think about how we have to manage our time instead of being together all the time because im a fucking pansy." He releases all in one breath and punches the wall again. I watch His body vibrate with stored anger. I wipe away my tears and just breathe. I don't know how to respond to that. I want to forgive him but Im also still pissed. Pissed that he's still sleeping with her. Even while I'm here.
"Then why do you continue to make that same mistake? Even while I'm a few doors down, Lynol?" I shout. All we ever fucking do is scream at each other.
"What?" I haven't touched her since." He doesn't raise his voice at me.
"Liar. She was just in your shirt last night out in the kitchen. Why do you think I beat the shit out of her?" Bitterly, I laugh. He shakes his head.
"Clothes float around here, babe. I haven't touched her. Ask Panik or patch or Kale. Hell, even Ed. And that's why you hit her? I thought you didn't care." He starts yelling too. I just shake my head.
"Of course I fucking care, you brainless fucker! I love you. And - UGH!" I scream out in frustration. I'd punch a fucking wall too if my knuckles weren't already fucked up from that Whore's face. Lynol stares at me for what's seems like eternity. I finally just look away with a blush.
"If you don't mind, Imma take a shower in your feshly Cloroxed bathroom." I turn away from his heavy lustful gaze. I hear his bedroom door open and close from the other side of the bathroom door. Taking what seems to be my millionth deep breath today, I take a relaxing shower.
Searching through Lynols dresser, I only find a "small" pair of swears that I still have to tighten the strings in and a Holy Rebel MC shirt w their logo on it. This one even has Lynols rank on it. It's not an old lady patch but it's a start.
Lynol seems to like it though, grinning as soon as he sees me. "Why are all your clothes so big? I feel like a garbage bag?" I pout. He laughs.
"You look hot. Don't worry." But he doesn't try to touch me to physically show I'm his and I don't know if I'm disappointed or relieved. I dont know if I wanna work this out with Lynol or if even can be, or not. I know I don't like seeing him with that whore. Or anyone's else. And I know I don't want anyone else. I know Lynol makes me happy and loves me and Sydney.
"Prez! GoGo!" Patch calls just before Blake walks in. My anxiety grows. She has a plan now what the hell is it. So her plan better be fucking good.
"Hey." I try to smile. Her smile is genuine. "Hi." I stare at her for a minute while she reaches in her huge ass purse and pulls out a baggy with a bottle of what I'm guessing to be urine. "Here ya go." She places it on the bar top.
"Great. What do I do with this?" I glance at it.
"Duh. Say it's yours. They'll probably try again when it comes back clean. Or social services will test you again. And now you're prepared. Don't worry, Margo." She pats my shoulder.
"Thanks, Blake." I smile.
"House is good." Kale saunters in with Pat.
"Blake." Pat gives her a shit eating grin. She blushes slightly but keeps her face straight.
"Panik." She returns.
"Patrick." I warn.
"Don't worry, Go Go. Just having some fun." His face is pure innocence.
"Yeah. Keltz told all about how you guys had fun. You have a thing for women of authority, Mr. Miller?" Blake asks.
"I gotta thing for you." Pat sticks out his pierced tongue and wiggled it. She cringes and I almost piss myself laughing.
"Leave her alone, Patrick. Mom raised us better." I shove him. He shoves back. I shove again.
"You wanna go, little girl?" His eyes hold a challenge.
"Oh yeah." I strip off my shirt, leaving myself in a sports bra I left Here. I hear a low whistle.
"Margo!" Lynol yells.
"I see you got some of your piercings back." Pat glances at my chest and belly ring. I shrug. He swings and I duck, punching his thigh. He grabs my waist and body slams me to the floor. I bend my legs so that my feet get the brunt of the pain.
"Panik! Enough! Margo out your fucking shirt back on." Lynols starts ordering us around.
"Touchy touchy." Pat mutters. I give him one last final shove before skipping behind Lynol.
"I gotta go. My little boy is at home." Blake laughs as she gets up off the bar stool.
"Hey!" I call after her. She turns to me.
"Thanks, Angie, it really means a lot. I don't do drugs. I just had some weed." I tell her.
"I know, Margo. Youre a good cop. And mother. I'll see you later." I watch her leave.
Lynol puts an arm around my shoulders. "See. I told you everything would be ok." He smiles down at me. My heart beat picks up speed.
"Can we go home, now?" I ask.
"Sure. We can talk a little more." Her agrees.
"As long as you promise not to punch any holes in my walls."