I throw my jacket on the back of my couch as I pass the living room to my room. Lynol closes my new white front door and follows. Neither of us speak and thick tension fills the air. "I need some clothes that fit." I mutter and open my dresser for some pants.
"You look good in my clothes." Lynol comes up from behind me. He wraps his arms around me. Against my better judgment, I relax against him.
He kisses my neck and jaw before turning me to face him and lifting me into my dresser. We watch each other. His Adams apple bobs in his throat, the sound almost audible in the deafening sound of silence, and his hazel eyes bore into mine. He takes a strand of my dark hair between his fingers and plays with it absentmindedly.
"I'm so sorry, babe. For cheating. For lying. For being just a biker. Shitty father. I promise I will be better to you and for you." My heart clenchs at his promises. Just like it does every time he plays with Sydney.
"You are not a shitty father. Boyfriend, yeah. Father, no." I run my fingers over his gruff jaw.
"Way to kick a man when he's down, babe." He snaps and starts to pull away. I pull him back, laughing.
"You deserve it. You told me you liked me and wanted to be a family then I find you with the same whore you run to every time we have a problem. I deserve more than that. I've done a lot for you. Most of it in only a damn week. Would Lil have done any of that?" I ask. He just exhales.
"Well, maybe. She wants to be an old lady so fucking badly." I scoff.
"Shell never be an old lady, babe. Especially not mine." He promises me.
"Well, stop running to her when we're having trouble. Cuz she's taking that to the head and telling herself she's special and throwing it in my face." Even though I told her I had more than she did, she has what I want most; Lynol. At least in a way I don't.
"She has nothing on you, babe." He growls in my ears. Chills run down my body.
"Prove it." I growl back. He smirks and grabs me by my thighs and yanking us pelvis to pelvis, grinding. I bet it's a lot easier with out a swollen stomach.
I toss my head back against the wall and moan softly at our friction. He yanks off my pants and groans when he sees I'm not wearing panties. I lean forward and kiss him hard, feeling up under his shirt at his abs.
He pulls back and tosses his shirt to the floor and yanks his jeans and boxers down and steps out of them. "I don't want to waste any more time, babe. Now!" He orders and pulls my shirt over my head and my sports bra following.
"That's hot." He lustfully glares at my pierced nipples.
"Thanks." I kiss him, not wanting to waste anymore time either. He picks me up and leads us to my bed. Our bed.
"On your knees, facing away." He orders. I do as I'm told, smirking. He grips my wide hips in his large hands and with no warning at all, he thrust deep into me. I gasp, clenching around him. He go goes hard, fast, and deep with need and lust.
I fist the faded pink sheets and bite my lip to keep quiet. But that's not what he wants. He surprises me by grabbing a handful of my long hair and snatching my head back. I let out a scream as I thrash back against him in ecstasy just before I crash. He comes a few thrusts later and collapses beside me, pulling me down on his chest.
"Should I be worried that the first time we have sex, you don't look at my face?" I joke. But as a detective, I analyze everything. He looks at me.
"What? No! Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't think" I cut him off.
"I'm kidding. Calm down." but I still see the self loathing boiling in his eyes.
I roll on top him and watch down at him. Leaning down, I give him a long and slow kiss. He wraps his arms around me to pull me closer. I position myself right above his still hard dick and glide down him. He groans into my mouth. Slowly and purposefully, I rotate my hips. He slides one hand down to cup my ass and urge me to go faster but I don't. He bites my lip but I only laugh in response.
"You're a fucking tease, babe." He glares.
"This is your last chance, Lynol. No more after this. I left John because I didn't want to show Sydney that's the right way to treat a girl and that was a healthy relationship. I'm not gonna trade one bad relationship in for another." I tell him.
"I'm sorry. I already apologized, Margo." His voice is impatient and heavy.
"Understand?" I ignore him. He groans and thrusts to make me go faster. I start to move away from him all together.
"I feel you, babe. I'm not fucking up anymore. I can't function with out you or with you hating me. I've already cut out club whores. Any of them say different, they're lying. Now will you please shut the fuck up and ride my dick before I take you forecefully." He asks exasperated. I smile in response and bounce on him. "Fuck yeah."
°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·°·
I wake up to loud voices in my living room. I throw on Lynols shirt that reaches to my knees and shuffle out to see what the hell is going on. Pat, Ed, Kale, Panik, and the new guy whose name I've already forgotten. They all look over at me. "Margo! Go put clothes on!" Lynol comes around the corner from our kitchen holding our daughter. I smile wide and take her.
"Hi, little girl. You have fun with nana? Yeah?" I bounce her in my arms. She giggles.
"Babe." Lynol warns again.
"I'm going." I gently hand over our daughter. He grabs me by the back of my neck and pulls my lips to his. I laugh but kiss him too before going to shower.
"Grab a bathing suit, Margo." He calls behind me.
"I don't own one." I stop in front of the bathroom to face him. You don't exactly pack a bathing suit when you're running.
"Fuck. We'll get one. Go!" He points a finger to the bathroom. That babies first word is gonna be a curse word at the rate this family swears.
I search through the rack of bikinis, trying to be fast because the others are waiting at Eds. Go figure. I settle on a red one. Nothing special, just simple bottoms and usual top with no pattern. Lynol rushes me to the changing rooms to put it on underneath my shorts after he's paid.
Old rock music can be heard from the street as we pull up to Eds and we climb out the truck. Bikes are parked all over the place, in the driveway, the open garage, and in the streets. Lynol leads me out back while he holds Sydney. Hes dressed her an a little pink and yellow one piece bathing suit and it's so cute because she's so chunky.
Lounging in chairs and around the pool, bikers and their old ladies laugh and talk amongst one another. A few club whores are hanging around as well. Lil is on the lap of one of the brothers. She glares over at me, no doubt still angry from the black eye that's already faded to an ugly yellow. I smile sweetly back at her.
"I wanna take Sydney in the water." I touch lynols arm. He kisses her cheek and hands her to me.
"Might wanna change her diaper." He suggests. I nod and go to where he says the bathroom is. I run into Angie on the way. She's struggling with a little boy around 3 to be still long enough for her to get his shirt off before he jumps in the pool.
She smiles at me and grabs the young boys arm before whispering something in Spanish. Well there's something new. He stills and nods.
"Hey." I laugh. "I'm just going to change her diaper if you want to wait so you're not overwhelmed with bikers." I offer instead of asking her what the hell she's doing here. She nods.
Her little boy, Richardo, wastes no time running to the pool as soon as were out of the bathroom. I stuff my shorts into Sydney's diaper bag and set it by lynols feet before he yanks me to sit in his lap. He kisses my neck and nips at it. I swat him away laughing. I hear more yelling in Spanish and see Angie rubbing her temples.
Her body is beautiful, envy worthy. Just curves, curves, and more curves. Pat seems to notice too. I throw a wauded up napkin at his face. He grins at me. All teeth.
Lynol runs his hand down my thigh and up again. "You are so fucking sexy." He whispers in my ear before taking my lobe in his mouth.
"Behave." I chide him. He laughs.
"Never!" He promises.
I take Sydney and walk her in the water. She instantly starts crying. "Shh." I bounce her. "Its her teeth. Let me have her." Lynol holds his arms out over the pool for her. I watch him walk into the house and notice lil start to get up and follow.
"Bitch, you move and I will shoot you." I tell her. She freezes mid walk and glares harder than ever at me. A few of the others laugh.
"Who's that?" Angie is beside me in the warm water. My Darkest days starts blaring into the warm winter air. No such thing as cold in Florida. "Piece of ass up for grabs to any and all that want her. Her and Lynol had a thing." I growl. She nods.
"The only person I see him constantly gawking at is you. Undressing you with his mind and eyes." She smirks.
"What the hell you know about this shit, Girl?" Ed boams to his 15 year old daughter. She blushes an unattractive at the crude language of pornstars dancing. I guess her phone is playing the music. "Its pandora, daddy. Its not my music." She explains. He yanks her phone off the aux cord and throws it at her. Curse words fly out of his mouth as he shoved a CD into the stereo. His daughter stalks into the house.
Water crashes into Angie and me and she instantly starts chiding her son in fast fluent Spanish. He laughs at his mom. "That boy." She pushes herself up out of the water and I do the same, sitting on a towel beside her in the sun.
"Where's his dad?" I ask her. She smiled fondly, her eyes distant.
"He died. Overseas when I was pregnant." She shrugs like it doesn't matter. But it does. She just doesn't want to talk about it. I nod.
Lynol walks back out with our daughter and sits back down at the table with the others holding her in his arms. Nothing sexier than a man taking care of his child. We'll probably take her back to lynols mothers tonight. I hope all this mess with John is over soon. I can't be away from Sydney for too dann long.
"Hey!" Lynols loud voice pulls me from my thoughts. He's glaring at Patch about to light a cigarette.
"What the fuck?" Patch growls back.
"Not around my kid." Lynols orders. Patch mutters something but gets up from the table. Kale and Panik start laughing at my boyfriend. Lynol ignores it, bouncing Sydney on her feet in his lap instead. She giggles. I go over to them and take patchs seat.
"She seems calmer." I note.
"I have her something." He grins at me. I gape at him.
"You gave her alcohol?" I ask. He shrugs. "Trynna get her drunk?" I laugh.
"Get Go Go drunk and she's lots of fun." Pat says in a low voice. I flip him off with a playful glare but Lynol sends him a deadly one.
"He's kidding." I shove Pat.
"No, I'm not." Pat smirks but says nothing else. I fight a grin in response.
"You're trouble. Did you invite Angie?" I change the subject. He shrugs.
"Well, then go give her company instead of being up my ass." I point in her direction.
"Prude." He sticks his tongue out.
"Pig." I retort. He's so childish.
"You know, Panik was a hard bastard before you got here. Now he's a damn child." Kale comments. I shrug.
"He's always been a damn child man baby. But when he left Ohio it was because of some fucked up shit. With our parents. With his girlfriend. They lost a baby. And she was crazy." I explain. A few brothers curse. They obviously didn't know. I nod.
"He didn't even tell us he was leaving. One minute he's crashing on my and John's couch and one morning he was just gone. Not at our parents. Not anywhere in town. John and I kept looking but nothing. Had we kept looking We'd have found him the minute he was arrested but we figured he didn't want to be found so we stopped." I shrug much like Angie did earlier. Like it doesn't hurt. But when I couldn't find Pat I was losing my mind. He's my best friend and not knowing if he was alive or dead in some ditch was hard on me. John just convinced me that wherever Pat was, he was ok and wouldn't want us to worry.
I turn and watch Pat flirt with Angie near the pool. He glances over and catches my gaze then grins like the little sneak he is and turns back to Angie. I shake my head. Angie is laughing and giggling at whatever Pat is saying to her while he touches her thigh.
I hope she knows what she's doing and not leading Pat on. She can't be with Pat and not be with the club. She'll have to walk the line between love and the law.
"Margo!" Lynol kicks the leg of my chair. I look back to see him glaring.
"Sorry. What?" I ask. He hands me our daughter and gets up to join Patch for a smoke.
Papa Roachs gravity comes on through the speakers. I sit Sydney up on the table and play with her hands while I sing along, head banging in the process. She smiles and claps on her own. I laugh.
"Mamas beautiful girl." I tell her.
Later we drop off Sydney and talk to his mom for a while. His mothers already got a while room for Sydney. This little girl is gonna be so spoiled.
Lynol doesn't say anything on the way home. He hasn't said much all day, actually. We walk to our room and I lean against the dresser to watch as he strips to his boxers and leaves out to the kitchen. So I follow.
"Are you ok?" I ask him. He turns from the fridge.
"Are you in love with Panik?" He rushes out. My jaw drops and I don't say anything, too stunned to say anything. "Nevermind. Forget it." He brushes past her to the cupboard. I grab his bicep and turn him to me.
"Why would you think that?" I ask him.
"The way you were talking about him today and how you were looking at him. What He said about you when you're drunk made me think that y'all had a past. Then how you always call him first. Do you guys?" He states down at me. His hazel eyes vulnerable. I look away.
He punches the wall behind me, leaving a big hole. I jump. "I fucking knew it!" He roars.
"Lynol!" I reach for him but he jerks away.
"Tell me." He yells in my face.
I step away and try not to blink or the tears might fall. "We were like 16. Him John and I..." I trail off.
"It was only a few times and it was nothing more than that. I swear to God." I quickly assure him. He shakes his head.
"If I wanted Patrick then I would have had him the moment we were over but we don't love each other like that, Lynol, I promise you." I each for him again but he jerks away like before. With a shake of his head, he leaves. The roar of his motor cycle drifting into the distance.
I call Pat. "Go Go?" He answers.
"Lynol headed for you." I tell him crying.
"What the fuck for?" He asks.
"I told him about us." I say. He curses aloud.
"Why would you do that?" He yells.
"Its all because of your stupid comment, Patrick. I told you to shut up." I tell back. He curses one more time and hangs up.