Lynol "found" a small house with 2 bedrooms and surprise, surprise, he owns it. I can't wrap my head around why he's helping me. I'm a stranger. He's doing this like he's known me all our lives and he's getting me through a rough patch.
There's some furniture in the house, but not much. There's a brown couch and matching rocking chair covered in clear plastic in the living room and a king sized bed in the bedroom. Why would one man need a huge bed for just him. Maybe it's not for just him, maybe he used to live here with someone. A girl. The thought makes my skin crawl a little. But would that be past tense? Because, again, just his shit in the shower.
"How much?" I ask him, deciding to focus on tje bigger issue. Thanks to Lynol, I can investigate his personal life later. "And make it reasonable, don't take it easy on me." I warn him. A shadow of a smile crosses his lips.
"$450. And that is reasonable around here. And it needs fixed up a little before you have your little one. Don't need her getting cut on a loose nail on her first attempt to walk." He calls my baby a girl. Taking my attention away from fighting over a price.
Actually, aside from just making sure I eat right-ish and avoid coffee and getting the overall basics it may need, I haven't really thought about the baby. About techniques, the sex, just overall good parts of motherhood.
"I don't know the sex yet. The, uh, father insisted it be a surprise." The last part escapes my lips. He looks at me and it's silent for a moment. My scattered gaze trying not to land on his considerate one. He doesn't ask me to explain or ask questions, just watches with guarded gaze. I guess we all have to keep some things to ourselves.
"I didn't want my baby to endure what I had to. He or she deserves a happy home." A flash of the night John found out appears at the back of my mind.
He had found the home pregnancy test hidden at the bottom of the trash in the bathroom, wadded up in toilet paper. It was pretty evident I didn't want it found. And his paranoia and training told him the same thing. And he was pissed.
"Why didn't you tell me? What were you planning to do? Kill it?" He flew in to where I sat at the kitchen table, sorting through our bills and finances. Huge chunks of money were disappearing here and there. I knew what they were for. Whatever twat he was currently screwing around with. And it was starting to take a toll on us. So how dare he come in there and demand I spill my secrets? And at the rate we were going, we wouldn't be able to AFFORD a baby.
But could I say any of that? Yes. But would I dare? Fuck no. The pregnancy test was flung at me like I hadn't already seen it. Or even knew this was coming. I just hoped it had been later. When I had more cash saved up in my separate bank account. When I found an actual destination. Right then my only goal was get away from here fast. And I had come up with more issues and questions than solutions. For example, do I change my name and get a regular job or do I resign here and start at the precinct there? If I do that, he'll definitely find me. But under the table doesn't pay retirement. So SHOULD I change my name. And I'm back where I started. Its a never ending rollercoaster of question and theory. And I was nowhere near the end of figuring it out.
"Are you deaf ? I'm talking to you, Margo!" The whole time I had been staring at the test- avoiding his eyes. He grabbed my jaw and snapped my face in his direction- giving me whiplash and I winced. At that point, he was fully standing beside me at the end of the table, glaring at me with hard, angry eyes.
"I was waiting till I found the perfect way to tell you. I wanted to surprise you." I lied. He studied my face, seeing if he could believe me or not.
Not.
He used his grip on my jaw to pull me up from the chair and stand before him. "Yeah right. I find out you do anything to get rid of this kid and there will be nothing to protect you from what will come." His smile was venom as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I caught what he was really saying. As long as I was pregnant, he wouldn't hurt me or the baby. Scaring me into keep it.
Then he grins- a genuine one. And just like that he had flipped his switch. He kissed me, controlling, then rubbed my flat stomach. "This is great, babe! We're having a baby!"
I shudder at the memory, then pull out the wad of cash he handed me earlier. Like, my god, there's a few grand here. He must have a stellar credit score. I hand him $550.
"Deposit. I guarantee I might break something. Like the sink. Because I break shit all the time." John's words are bitter on my tongue. Lynol doesn't say anything, just takes it and nods.
"Alright. I have something to do, so what do you want to do? Stay here or the club house? I can see if some of the others' wives will come help clean this up." He offers. I shake my head.
"I'll do it myself. Need some time alone. But is there a store near by I can walk to?" I ask him. Walking always helps me think.
"Up the road. I can give you the truck until I'm finished." He starts to dig the keys out of his nice fitting blue jeans. I shake my head.
"I'm not helpless, Lynol. I know I seem that way now, but I'm not. I can fend for myself." I'm a damn cop for crying out loud. And it's just a simple walk.
"Alright." He says a little bluntly before grabbing the front door by the side in his big hand, ready to swing it shut after him. I grab his shoulder and turn him.
He seems a little amazed at my strength. And, again, I retract my arm. "I'm sorry. I just- ugh! I don't know what to think yet. But I appreciate everything you've done this far. And I'll need a ride to work and my clothes from your place. Just come get me when you're finished?" I ask. He looks at me for a minute then nods before leaving without a word.
And now I managed to piss off the one person helping me. Way to go, Margo.
The wall to the store wasn't far, but it gave me a nice look at some of what the small town did around here. From what I've gathered so far, any one of these women can write you their own gardening magazine. Each house has at least rose bushes out front with smaller colorful flowers decorating the edge. And pristine green lawns. I even saw a couple fruit and vegetable gardens. I also passed a public park. With swings. The thought of walking my baby to the park in a stroller brings a smile to my face. My smile starts hurting when I realize my baby has a pink stroller in my mind. Now all of a sudden I find myself hoping its a girl too.
The store was pretty basic, though, unlike the town. I strolled through a dew isles to browse the shelves doe later before finally throwing what I needed in the cart and checking out. The sun will be down soon and I want to get as much cleaned as possible before then. Rhe main thing I needed was water. If I weren't walking, I'd have gotten a case. but I settle for two jugs and the strongest smelling cleaner I could find. I've never tasted well water before and I didn't want to start today. Because it didn't smell nice when I turned the faucet on earlier.
I start wiping all the dust off the walls with some bleach and water, leaving the glass door open for fresh air. In a hallway closet is a broom I have to step on to rip the cob webs and dust off it to sweep all the floors. I also find an old blue blanket with silk around the edges. His name is stitched into a corner. Lynol Sydney Pritchard. The tattered edges and multiple holes tell me its true age. I put it on the back of the couch.
I also take the broom to sweep off the furniture then spray it down with disinfectant spray. Plopping down on it, I start chewing on a banana and drink a water, feeling accomplished and exhausted. I should probably shake that bed out and spray it too if I'm going to use it. And probably soon, before the sun really goes down. The candle and match book I found earlier will only provide so much light. I'll have to see what I can do about lights. Changing my name doesn't sound like a bad idea after all. I lay down for a second and close my eyes. Just a minute to rest.
Next I know, Lynol is hovering above me, shaking me awake and there's a shit ton of people in my house. "What's going on?" I shoot up off the couch. His small blanket falls to the floor.and onto a rug that hadn't been there before. I must have been sleeping with it. Wait, where'd the rug come from? Glancing around, I notice the rug is the least of the new accessories to the house.
Two white floor lamps stand on either side of a sizeable flat screen t.v. that's catty cornered to the fire place on a low wooden stand with shelves. The shelves have white cloth boxes occupying the empty space. And no longer is the old brown rocking chair, but in its stead, is a newer black leather one. I slowly make my way to my feet as I take note of all the new things and people carrying them in. Why are they doing this? And it's late! I'm sure they'd rather be home.
"Whoa, calm down. They came to help with the house. You got quite a bit done." He glances around. I look outside and see its pitch black. Only then do I realize I've seeing due to ELECTRICITY.
"What time is it?" I ask.
"Around 9. Come on."
"You paid my lights?" I accuse.
"Yup. Suck it up." He walks outside and expects me to follow. I grab my bag of food and speed after him.
"I told you I could do it, Lynol. I could clean my house and get my lights on. Well, maybe not my lights. I was gonna ask you for that." I mutter.
"I know, Margo, I'm just trying to help you. You can't carry stuff that's heavy or breathe in all those cleaning fumes. They can." He opens the truck door for me. Can I not do that either? And how does he know so much about pregnancy?
"Why are you helping me?" I ask him when he gets in.
"Because you need it." He answers. I scoff.
"You don't know me." I tell him yet again.
"I know."
*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•
And that's how it goes for the next few weeks. Lynol picks me up every morning for work and drops me off home each afternoon. I got cable and internet and a phone in Lynol's name. He must not have anything else in his name. I guess he lives at the club house. Saves me from changing mine. Or more time to think about it. I cant burden him forever. He also gave me his number and told me to call him at any time. I haven't spoken to my mom yet, but I allow myself to feel safe for the first time in years. I suspect that has something to do with Lynol's constant worry and presence.
With the remote in one hand and a healthy chocolate bar in the other, I switch my tv yo Investigation Discovery and recline back into the insane amount of throw cushions on my new couch (thanks to the club). Suddenly I get a pain in my stomach a while into a show. I run my stomach until it goes away but it doesn't. I pick my home phone up and call Lynol.
He answers on the second ring. "What's wrong?" He immediately asks. Aside from taking me to and from work, we haven't really spoken much.
"I think I might need to go to the hospital." I tell him. I hear ruffling around.
"Come back." A girl whimpers in his background. Ew, I slept on that bed.
"If I'm interrupting, I can just call an ambulance." I instantly offer. Hate to break up a good time. I really need a car, then I would depend on him less. Then again, that's really the only time I see him.
"Don't be ridiculous." He grunts.
Another burst of pain in my abdomen saves me from answering. "Margo." He almost yells.
"I'm fine. I just don't know if anything is wrong with the baby. I haven't been to a doctor since I found out." I clutch my stomach as I double over, sitting on the edge of the couch.
"I'm on my way." He hangs up.
I'm still staring at the ultra sound pictures as Lynol gets gas. Braxton hicks, the doctor says. Everything is fine. SHE is fine. Healthy. Beautiful. I wouldn't be able to have this baby if Lynol didn't help me. Pulling down his sun visor, I put one of the pictures up there for him.
He jumps back in the truck and tosses me a bag of potato chips and water. "Thanks." I tear open the bag and munch away.
"Were having a BBQ tomorrow if you wanna come." He suddenly says.
It would be the first time I've been back at the club since the night I got the house. "Ooh. Yes, I would love to." Anything for food. He nods and pulls out without another word.
"You want me to stay?" He asks once I've unlocked the front door. My heart skips a couple beats at the question. Stay and do what?
"Uh, no. I'm sure I'll be fine. Probably be bed ridden soon,though." I laugh a little.
He follows me inside to the back bedroom, stopping at the nursery. Putting my stuff down beside the bed, I go to stand beside him. "Yeah, its pretty empty right now." I voice.
He looks down at me, eyes digging into mine. "Well, we've only got three months. Better start setting it up." He breaks eye contact to look back into the room.
We've?
I smile. "Yeah, I'll figure it out." There's no real baby store in this small ass town and I don't have a car. I don't want to call up Lynol with every issue I have. He's done enough.
"What needs figured out, babe?" He asks and I actually have to breathe in. He called me babe. Part of me likes how he takes care of me all the time. And another part of me thinks I'm reading too much into it, because I've never had anyone do stuff like this for me unless I was with them. And barely even then. So what does he want? Or is he just nice?
"Just, uh, need a ride to somewhere there's a baby store or something. Get the basics at least, so I'm somewhat prepared for her when she comes."
He looks back at me from the room. "Should have said something, Margo, one of the women could have taken you. Shit, probably all of them. Make a damn day of it. You could use a day out."
Hang out with the women in his club? I don't know if that's a winning plan if they're all like that one girl in the kitchen. "You don't have to do that." I wave his offer off.
"I want to. And don't ask me why. You don't have to agree just yet. Decide once you meet them tomorrow at the BBQ." He comes closer to me and tips my chin for me to look at him. Have my full attention.
His hand is so warm. I just wanna rub my face into his palm and curl into his body. "Ok. Thank you, Lynol." I agree. He full out smiles and bends to kiss my forehead, hand caressing my cheek.
I'm sure I'm smiling ear to ear when he pulls back to look at me. "Good night, Margo."
"Good night." I watch him flip the lock on the door before he closes it behind him.
With one last glance into the nursery, I head to my own bed.
×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×.×
I'm standing out in front of the store eating some Italian ice some older lady is selling in the parking lot when I hear the roars of multiple bikes. Lynol hops off his bike and comes over to me while the rest observe me and their surroundings. First time I've seen most of them. "Shouldn't you be inside?" He asks. I shrug with a smile. Today he's wearing black jeans and a wife beater with his usual boots and leather.
"It's slow today so I'm enjoying the sun. And this ice." I hold up my cup to show him. He chuckles. A car pulls in causing me to pout in disappointment. A tall guy with dirty brown hair sticking to his sweaty forehead gets out with a cigarette in his mouth.
He makes his way to the door and Lynol grabs his shoulder. "Can't you read? There's no smoking. She's pregnant." He snaps. The guy looks between us and at my stomach before dropping the cigarette and apologizing.
"Chill." I pull Lynol's arm off the guy. He takes a deep breath.
"I'll be right back." I tell him and follow the guy into the store.
"Your boyfriend?" The customer asks me. I laugh. Don't I wish.
"A friend." I correct. He nods and gets what he wants then leaves.
"What brings you up here?" I ask Lynol.
"Came to pick you up for the BBQ." He answers. I didn't realize it was that time already. I call the girl who has the shift after mine with the store phone.
"I'm running a little late, sorry. My son wants to be naked today. No clothes at all." She let's out a frustrated sigh then yells at her son to keep his pants on. I laugh.
"It's fine." I hang up.
"Her son is running around naked before the sitter." I relay to Lynol.
He shakes his head. "Boys." I guess he would know since he's in charge of how many of them.
Lynol makes me a plate at the BBQ once we make it (had to call the boss to cover for my co worker, because lynol was getting impatient) and I believe he put everything they had on it. "Thanks." I take it. He sits next to me.
"You guys do this a lot?" I ask him. He swallows his chicken then nods.
"Try to be friendly with the town so they're not so judgmental." Yet they still are.
"Why would they be judgmental?" I ask.
"Too much Sons of Anarchy." He says seriously. I laugh.
"We'll be having another one here soon. A few brothers are getting out of the state pen so we're gonna celebrate. This one will be private though. One kids shouldn't see." He grunts then starts eating again.
I can only imagine what they'll be doing. An episode of SVU comes to mind where they gang raped a girl for a guy who just got home. I shiver at the thought. I can't see these guys doing that. I also didn't want to see Lynol with another woman. "How long were they in?" I ask.
"About 4 years." He answers.
"Damn." I could not in jail for that long. Especially a male one. I've heard stories from men who've went to jail and got out in my line of work.
"Prez, we got a problem. Need a club meeting." One of his members taps Lynol. Lynol shoves a bun in his mouth like a starving child and leaves with patch. Kale, another member I met last time and stg. At arms, comes up to me holding his 3 month old son with a pleading smile. I take him so he can leave for the meeting. Kale is a single dad, his wife is a junkie in rehab trying to get clean for the 4th time.
I take Mikey inside to the lounge and rock him side to side while standing and humming to him. According to kale, Mikey doesn't sleep much. I think of a song I know all the words to and Dixie chicks pops up When you were Mine. I sway like I'm slow dancing with no partner. His whimpering stops and I look to see him sleeping soundly.
"Thank god. You're awesome." Kale comes and takes him.
"You're welcome." Lynol is standing in the doorway, leaning against it. He was watching me.
"He's an angel." I tell kale.
"I know. Always scared I'm gonna taint him with this life." He mutters more to himself.
"I'm sure that won't happen, Kale. Everyone makes their own choices in life." My dad was a drunken dick weed and my mom straight up left. Only way I survived was through John and Patrick. Kale gives me a grateful smile then exits.
"You sound so wise." Lynol smirks. I can never tell if he's flirting with me or just being a dick.
"Personal experience. Wanna swap shitty life stories?" I ask him. He grins in approval.
"Mine isn't shitty, thank you. I had loving parents. I joined the club because my dad and his dad were members. Kind of like a family business." He shrugs.
"That's awesome. That's what I'm going to try to provide for my baby. A home. And if I stayed with John, she wouldn't have had that." I rub my stomach.
"She'll have it here. You guys have me and the rest of the club." He places his hand on my stomach. She chooses this moment to kick right where his hand is. I laugh.
"She likes you, Lynol. Do you have kids?" I'm scared to ask. Means he's got another family.
"No. I want a family with a woman I love and trust and feel can handle the life of a biker." He's so honest.
"I can understand that." I nod.
"I'm still hungry." He grabs my hand and pulls me back outside.
We join a group gathered around a picnic table. "This is Ed and his old lady, Silly, and Whiskey. Whiskey is a lifetime member and Champlain and Ed here is our secretary and treasurer." I recognize Ed as the one to get Lynol for the meeting earlier. I smile and wave a hello. I cant help but notice these women are wearing leather too. Silly offers me a bright smile back, instantly calming some of my nerves.
"Lynol said you need to go baby shopping." She pushes her dyed red bangs from her face. Her hair is in a pixie cut and its super cute on her.
"Yeah. I don't have anything yet." I admit as I sit down beside Lynol. She covers my hand with hers in my bare lap.
"Just means more shopping!" She excitedly shrugs. I nervously laugh.
Lynol puts his arm around my shoulders and shifts me closer to him. I don't know how to interpret the action, so I just let it happen. Silly winks at me.
Patch joins the group a moment later with a petite blonde with a big rack under his arm. Shes wearing a pretty yellow sundress that exposes most of her chest and back. Not to mention her legs. I smile at them in greeting, unsure of what else to do. I don't know what to say to these people.
"Daisey, this is Margo. Margo, this is my old lady Daisey." Patch introduces. There's that word again- old lady. Is it their wife or just a girlfriend for the time?
"Hi." I shake her hand.
"Hello. How far along are you?" She asks. I take a minute to register her question, baffled she just immediately asked.
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked." She immediately apologizes.
"Oh, no! Its ok. I'm about 6 months." I reply.
"7." Lynol corrects.
I look next to me at him.
"7. Dr said you had about 3 months left and a pregnancy is technically 10 months. I asked ma." He shrugs and drinks his beer. He asked his mom about my pregnancy. He was talking to his mom about me? And my baby?
I turn away to hide the smile he just planted. "Ok, 7 months." I tell Daisey again.
"How exciting! I love babies." She gushes.
"You have any kids?" I ask her.
"Yes, I have a son. He's about 15 or 16. Lives with his father." She looks down as she says the last part.
"You don't look old enough for a son that age." I smile.
Her mood instantly revives itself at this.
"Why, thank you." I nod.
"I definitely can't tell you had any kids, babe." Patch slaps her ass with a kiss to the forehead. She laughs and shoves his shoulder.
"Well, I'm glad someone has kids, because this is my first one and I have no clue what to do." The fear is my voice is audible to even my own ears.
"I'm sure we'll figure that out too, Margo." Lynol pats my thigh with his hand that isn't around my shoulders.
We'll? He's just inserting himself in the baby's life. And I don't care. I love it.
"Hope so." Is all I say.
My phone rings. "Hello?" I answer.
"I hate to do this, Margo, but my daughters just been in an accident, can you cover for me tonight. I'll be back in the morning to cover your shift and tomorrow night." My boss pleads.
"That's awful, sure." I hang up with him.
"He's making you work night shift?" Lynols almost livid.
"His daughter was just in an accident. Can I borrow your truck." I ask. He hands me his keys reluctantly.
"Be safe. I'll be calling to check in." He warns. I nod.
The night shift is so damn boring dude. And I get all the stragglers from the night club when they close at 3. Right now, the last of the rush leaves and I collapse into the chair. I keep walking back and forth like that and I'll go into labor 3 months early. My phone rings and without even looking I know it's Lynol calling for the 3rd time.
"Hello, Lynol. I'm fine." I say before he can ask.
"Good. I'm just making sure. Call if you need me. I'll be up." He offers for the 3rd time before hanging up.
I notice a scrawny looking white guy with bags under his eyes and face sunken in standing at the counter in a white tank top and jeans.
"Can I get a pack of cigarettes. The cheapest you got." He swats an imaginary bug in front of him.
"Sure." I grab a pack and place them on the counter. He digs in his pockets but doesn't have enough change.
"Can you let me slide?" He pleads. I shake my head and grab the cigarettes. He still needs like $2. He grabs my hand.
"Please!" He begs.
"No! I'm sorry." I snatch my hand back. He shakes his head then leaves.
An hour before shift ends, a sign outside falls from the wind. I pick it up and try to hang it back up but the hook fell off the wooden post. Looking around for the hook, I bend as much as I can. There's footsteps behind me and I feel someone behind me and something in my back. 5 years as a cop tells me it's a gun. I turn and see the junkie from earlier and he has an equally anxious friend.
"Get inside." He nods his head in the direction of the store. I do as I'm told, but my blood starts to boil. I start to feel the flight ot fight response start to kick in. I would really like to bust this dip shit in the fucking face and pistol whip his friend. But I can't chance getting shot when I'm pregnant. These people are so fucking lucky. He shoves me in the store and and behind the counter. He has me take all the money from the registers into a book bag.
"Open the safe." He orders.
"I don't know the code." I lie. He's not getting all of my bosses money.
"You're lying!" He yells and grabs his head in his one hand. His hand holding the gun is shaking.
"I just started here, I don't know!" I say again. He snatches the book bag and leaves, racing out the door with his friend.
I reach in the safe for the gun. Maybe I should call Lynol first. I hurry outside to see where they ran off too. Running isn't easy for a pregnant woman. I see them still running down a street. The roaring of multiple motor cycles is close by. My boss must have been watching and called Lynol. I raise my gun and aim for the one with the bags shoulder and fire three times. He goes down. The cops pull in, their sirens colliding with the motor cycles.
A male cop bursts out the car and points his gun at me. The other goes after the bleeding junkie. "Drop your weapon!" The cop with the gun pointed at me shouts. I toss it to the ground. He comes up and grabs my arm to twist them behind my back. Really? It was self defense. Lynol shoves his way through and starts yelling at the cop to let me go.
"I'm a cop!" I tell him. Lynol looks at me, stilled in his tracks. He looks so betrayed.
"I'm a fucking cop. And I'm so obviously pregnant, so let me the fuck go!" I push back against him. "Where's your badge?" He snaps. "Inside. In my bag." I tell him. After the last night with John, I ditched all worries and un-figured out plans and just left. I figured my badge might get me out of tight spots anyways too. He orders another cop to watch me while he goes inside.
"You're a fucking cop." Lynol says lowly so the others can't hear.
"Yes. But I'm not here for the club. I swear, Lynol. I'm running from a guy. Whose also a cop." I tell him. He stares at me and it's so cold.
"Whatever you say." He backs away.
"Lynol!" I start crying. Damn hormones. He shakes his head and leaves. The others are confused, looking back and forth between me and their president, wondering why he's just leaving me here, but comply with their president nonetheless. My heart sinks in my chest.