Her answer didn't actually matter.
If she chose me, I'd probably keep fucking her... I mean it's free cooch. But that was it.
But her silent glare and pursed lips spoke more words than needed.
"You're not in love with me, sh--, you don't even like me."
Her chest heaved, a humph escaped her as she hugged herself.
"Don't give me that shit, what about you?!"
I liked you enough that's why I fucked you bitch put the pieces together! Of course, I couldn't say that. In situations like this all she'd be able to hear is "He likes me."
Suddenly I had an epiphany.
"Ahhhh," I nodded. "Ahhh, I see."
She eyed me frustrated. "...What?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all."
I turned for the door when she skittered ahead to intercept me, planted herself in front of the door.
This girl... "What are you doing?"
Her eyes shimmered with defiance and determination. Her hand traced the collar of her robe before moving down to untie it, it slipped to the floor.
"Are you...trying to be sexy now?" I was so baffled. Weren't we supposed to break up? Why won't she letting me leave?
She disrobed and lunged at me, her soft mounds smooshing against me leaving me stiff.
"...This ain't healthy hon."
She grumbled. "...Don't leave me." She hugged me tightly. "Please?"
I was done. And when I'm done I'm done, but... imagine my surprise when pity surfaced.
I patted her head.
This person... I don't know the full extent of her damage but she was truly pathetic. She's going to dump me tomorrow, isn't she?
I looked up to the ceiling and closed my eyes.
"Fine."
-
The air at the agency felt off. The main office seemed to be in an uproar. I could sense the weird energy as staff sat glued to their desks taking calls. The phones were ringing nonstop today, did something happen?
Today was the day we were scheduled to record the instrumentals with the guys for the fifth song of our album.
The moment I opened the door there was yelling.
"What the hell were you thinking? If you were going to fool around why didn't you do it with someone outside the industry?"
"Yo~" I greeted everyone.
The ceo/ producer of our label was yelling at Utaka who sat there unblinkingly.
"What happened?" I inched towards Gen who was doing that twirling thing with his drum sticks whenever he was nervous.
"A paparazzi published photos of Taka and Momo from DAISY."
"Hmm?" Momo... I looked to Kousuke who was leaning in a corner staring at nothing. "Kou isn't that your girl?"
The room went quiet. Perhaps feeling the gaze he looked up at us.
I admitted I hated the very thought of his existence, just a plug assigned to the band to fill Kagami's void. A talent that had been marinating in the company for years was finally able to debut with a young band. There was some awkwardness about that probably since he never spoke.
Still, the only thing I could respect him for was his playing.
He looked up. A question sign hanging over his head.
"Weren't you dating Momo?"
"Ah... yeah."
This was news to Utaka. "What the hell, since when?"
"Two years, no... one? I don't remember. Anyway... we broke up."
"We started dating one year ago..."
The CEO held out his hand. "Your phone, did you save your messages?"
Kou slowly fished out his phone and unlocked it before handing it over.
"Utaka."
The CEO looked through his and nodded.
"Alright, we can use this to deflect the attention. She was two-timing the both of you at some point."
Utaka reclined in the chair with a huff.
"Eh, I don't really care though."
The blood rushed to the CEO's face as he pointed. "You!"
"It'll be harder on her since she's a woman."
Well, that was true.
"Regardless it's unacceptable for a woman to exhibit this kind of behavior!" The CEO shouted. "Tch. She can only blame herself."
That was also true.
"My phone please." Utaka extended a hand.
The CEO was clearly reluctant.
"What kind of man leaves his lady behind? It's not like we broke up."
I couldn't help clapping.
"Man, spoken like a real man."
Utaka grinned only for it to recede a bit as he looked to me and Gen and finally the CEO "I've actually been thinking...I want to quit."
I stopped mid-clap. "Huh?"
"Her parents don't approve of me, I've been thinking of pursuing a music degree in college. I'm gonna open up a piano school."
Right, he had said that a long time ago didn't he? That he wanted to open a piano school... still it came as a shock. I mean we started a band and came this far after all...
"College isn't until quite some time though... why don't you wait until then?" I asked.
Utaka seemed to be considering it, and the anxiety building within me began to fade.
Gen quietly added. "Actually...I've also been considering the same thing."
"Not you too, guys... what's up with you two?"
"Well... you already know Sakura's in her second trimester, if... if we went on tour next year... I've been thinking about how it would suck if I missed her birth."
I get it. I get it BUT!
I licked my lips as I tried to think of something to say but the truth was I couldn't even find it within me. Not when I knew.
"It's because of Kagami isn't it?"
Their gazes shifted.
It was something we all felt but chose to ignore as we performed. The success was all thanks to us, but if one's missing how can it fully be enjoyed?
With Kagami gone, it wasn't as fun anymore. There was just something missing and as each song became a hit until there was no more of his songs left to perform. And no calls.
It's awkward when the songs you wrote become the hottest hits and you don't even call. He doesn't call at all, and occasionally at times I can't help but wonder if he resents us. Would he? Such thoughts always disturbed me. If he's not okay with us then how can I be okay with continuing on?
It was about time I stop clutching my pearls and face him myself.
"Fine." I say.
Gen always wanted to be a good Dad. And Utaka a piano teacher. The only friend who shared my interest in becoming a musician was me and Kagami.
My best friend from grade school to junior high... I should have begged Mom to call his Mom and negotiate back then. The news of him moving suddenly came out of nowhere there wasn't even any time to prepare. It wasn't fair.
I left it to the company hoping he'd be scouted as a composer or something. Hoping he'd come back, hit us up. Something. Nothing.
Truth is I know the decision is no longer up to us but to the company. But some part of me tells me the CEO didn't have any interest in Kagami at all.
I looked to the CEO now. Who listened with a frown. The vein bulging in his head disappeared with a sigh.
"We're in the middle of finishing the album... let's, let's talk about this more later okay?"
"No. We can't continue like this."
His eyes bulged at me as if to say "Not you too!"