I think the time our friendship really started was after I learned most of the language. We started talking in Japanese instead of English.
On rainy days we'd have lessons in his room when his Mom wasn't home.
Those days unnerved me the most for some reason.
Being in the open vs a closed-off space, even if we were sitting in the normal spots something felt weird.
The sound of his writing made me anxious. The hums when I made a mistake threw me off. The leaning over my shoulder even when I wasn't writing anything and thinking made me self-conscious, I was on my period so what if he could smell the blood?!
Trying to inch away when he wasn't looking...
His long stares to even his fidgeting and breathing made me want to hurl myself out the window and somersault over our fence to the house.
I had to ask to use his bathroom as an excuse to get away and compose myself.
A: (u - u) Bish stop acting so crazy.
Seriously what was wrong with me? Is it my period?
When I returned he was sitting at his Yamaha, plinking away. His fingers sauntered across the keys. He was wearing a wristband today, and his hair looked basic, which was an improvement.
We weren't gonna make much progress today, I could already tell. Not in such a small room. I began to miss Mrs. Fukuda.
While he played I got back to work. It felt easier, probably because he was on the other side of the room and the music helped to calm my nerves. I walked over to him when I was done with my workbook.
"..." Should I ask him to stop tutoring me? It's not you, well maybe a little bit, but it's me.
I eyed his piano and studio equipment. He definitely doesn't need the money. A guitar was propped up in a corner. They all would have cost a lot right?
"...Ummm...Fukuda-san."
He raised his eyebrows and looked up from my paper. With him staring I lost my words of ready resignation.
"Thank you for agreeing to teach me. I know it's not an easy thing to do."
"Hmm?" His lips stretched. "It is though."
I pursed mine.
"Amara-san you're easy to work with. And you don't complain much."
That's cause I actually want to learn...but, now it's complicated.
"You don't need to be so nice. I know I'm... a slow learner." Yes, and then we can transition into talks of feeling bad for him so you'd rather learn alone.
He blinked and tilted his head. "Slow learner?" His body swiveled around to face me, as he hugged his knee. "I don't think you're slow... it'd be weird to think anything. It's not your native language after all. So it'd be weird to get impatient with you."
"..." The demon twerking in my head slowed down at his words. And the anxiety I felt subsided a little. This was bad.
"Don't you have things to do? Doesn't tutoring get in the way of that?" NO. At this rate, my will to quit would vanish entirely!
He swiveled around back in his chair, to plink at his piano.
"Amara-san,~" He sung.
My goosebumps gasped so loud I shivered.
"I don't know if you've noticed~ but I have no life! There's nothing I want to do here at all. I'm completely uninterested, I'd rather stay home...eat shrimp potato fries cause I got nowhere to go, I've got plenty of free time. Yeah! Amara!~"
Why'd he add my name at the end?
"Saaan.~" he added.
When he finished and saw me with my back pressed against the wall, his eyes widened. "What's wrong? Why are you so far away?"
"Could you...never do that again?"
He paused. "Was it bad?"
"That's not important." I felt something dangerous just now.
He frowned. "It's important to me, though." He looked self-conscious, got me feeling like a bitch.~ Shut up, inner voice!
I sighed. "It was good, so good I thought if I died on the spot I'd turn into a ball of cheese."
His mouth formed an o. "...Could you... say that again with a bit more... emotion, please?"
"No."
He blinked at me, and I didn't.
He sighed. "I've made you uncomfortable haven't I? Sorry."
"Apology accepted."
"So I did?" :(
"It was in my head before but this time, it was definitely you."
My frankness startled him and even myself.
"Are you angry?"
"No."
"You seem like you're angry."
I think something inside me broke just now. All desire to be polite has left.
"I'm not angry. I just feel... confused. How should I react to that? Applaud you? Are you trying to seduce me?"
"Huh?"
"You should save that kind of behavior for someone you like."
His face cracked, a guffaw escaping him.
"Haha..." He scratched the back of his head. "...What's with you all of a sudden? So serious?"
"Don't do confusing things!"
"Why can't I sing?"
"It's not about singing, it's about who you sing to! You should only sing to someone you like!"
"But... I do like you!"
I practically growled the words. "Not platonically!"
His mouth formed an o. "Okay, okay, okay. I get it. I won't do it again." He turned his back to plink on the piano. "Amara-saaaan!~"
A: ( = 0 =)
"I didn't mean it that way, don't be mad!~"
"Stop singing to me!"
"Don't misunderstand, Amara!~"
"If you keep singing I'm leaving!"
"Why so seriou~-
As I went over to grab my things. He abandoned his post to stop me.
"Alright, I got it. I won't. I'm sorry. I'll be serious!"
"It's okay, starting from today you don't have to teach me anymore."
"Wha? Is it cause of my song?"
"No. I was just thinking... this is for the best."
He craned his neck to get a view at my face.
"Are you seriously upset?"
The door cracked open.
"You two were in here?" It's Mrs. Fukuda!
She eyed us oddly, it wasn't the first time she found us studying in his room. What was with that look?
"Yes. Hello." I bowed, suddenly remembering myself.
"I'm sorry I'm late, there was an accident that held up traffic. Have you two eaten yet?"
Kagami answered. "No." He looked to me. "Would you like to eat with us?"
"Hah?"
"That's a good idea! Should I call your Mom to tell her?"
I glanced outside. It was still raining. Mom probably wasn't even home.
Should I make some honey beef ramen?
"...Thank you but-
"Why don't you eat with us?" He insisted once more. "We haven't finished anyway."
Mrs. Fukuda looked from him to me.
Nooooooo! What's with that look?
I squirmed underneath both their gazes. Mrs. Fukuda smiled. "Amara-san is fond of beef right? What about some katsu?
"If...If..." Both looked at me expectantly. "If you'll have me." UGGGGGGGGGGH! Why can't I just say no?!
"But of course!"
I hope...she doesn't go thinking anything weird.
The air felt weird.