It was a day I knew would come but I didn't even want to use my brain to think of it.
When I went downstairs for breakfast that morning, a bald-headed Japanese man was sipping on some coffee while looking over a tablet.
My heart froze and shat shit all over my chest cavity. A barrier had been erected that prevented me from proceeding. My lips glued shut and it took everything within me to think of something to do as my mind pulled a blank.
But that something was tiptoeing as quietly as possible back upstairs.
I'm a ninja. A ninja. My relatives always told me I was creepy since I made no sound, randomly appearing out of nowhere. I am silence, I am stealth!
Turns out I was a fraud. No, just a big fish in a small pond.
"Good Morning..."
I was instantly spotted!
My heart froze as I stiffly turned around.
"Amara...was it?" He was looking at me, but he was wearing sunglasses.
I couldn't read his expressions so the knob on my anxiety began to skyrocket.
"Y-yes."
A silence passed. "Ah!" I bowed deeply. "Good Morning."
He waved a hand at me to stop. "...You don't need to do that."
Without realizing I must have begun to think of this place as my true home. But now I was beginning to feel like an invader. Like I was caught trespassing or something!
"Ah, Amara! You're up? Good. Hurry up and go pack your bags, we're going out for summer vacation."
I blinked. We're?
"I... already made plans with Arima-san..."
"Who's that?"
"A classmate."
"You had friends other than Kagami? Well, cancel, it's not every day Papa's here you know. Let's make the most of his presence this month."
Papa- I mean Step-Father-san glanced at Mom.
If I protested it would seem like I didn't care. It was thanks to this person that I even lived here so I didn't want him to think I was an ungrateful brat.
"O-okay..." I walked backward watching the two whisper, patting at the rail of the stairs before turning around.
Once I was out of sight they spoke louder.
"Isn't calling me Papa in front of her a bit much?"
"You don't like it?"
"That's not it..."
"Amara is fine with it so it's okay."
"...Is that so?"
Overhearing this made a temple bulge out the side of my forehead.
LIKE HELL I AM! DON'T GO TELLING HIM WEIRD THINGS!
I just didn't want to say anything about it in front of him, okay? If I did, he'd misunderstand that I hate him, okay?! Well, I mean, it's not like I like him either but well... uggghhhhhh.
-
She said we were going on a vacation, but if I knew it would be just the two of us, I would have pretended to be sick.
I thought we would have been going to the beach or something, but we ended up at a hotel- no a resort hotel. All the people walking around looked well off. Cranking up my anxiety by the second. Well, I did good by putting some care into my appearance today, but my clothes were on the casual side. I wish Mother had the decency to tell me the dress code before ditching us.
Step-Father-san was wearing a suit and preoccupied with his sushi, I stared at something I ordered sushi rolls, but that's only because I didn't know what else to order...everything seemed so expensive... Was something like this really okay? I was beginning to feel guilty.
I was reminded once again, that even though we lived in a middle-class neighborhood, this person wasn't in any way normal.
"There are a lot of outlets, did you want to take a look?" SFS(Step-Father-san) asked me.
"Huh?" If he asked like that I felt like the child of a sugar baby. Being bought things by a strange man... I didn't think my anxiety and paranoia could shoot any higher than it did then.
"You don't want to?"
"S-shouldn't we wait for Mom?"
"I don't think she'll be back soon, besides I can just text her where we're at."
Upon entering Mom was approached and stolen away by a former client slash friend. Ms. Kelly, I never would have thought such a simple-looking woman would be strolling around a luxurious place like this? Looks truly were deceiving...
Once we were done eating, we went to check out the outlets.
Expensive, expensive, all of them were expensive. When I finally found a cute hair-pin I liked, my true thoughts seeped out upon seeing the price.
"So overpriced!" You would think it'd be a tiny bit cheaper! Isn't this daylight robbery? I mean the quality is good compared to the cheap hairpins but for something tiny like this how can it be this much?! But I see, catering to the rich you're bound to make a lot... I couldn't get mad.
I couldn't shop anywhere with a clear piece of mind. What if my spending gets used against me later?
The butterfly hairpin was taken from my hand and handed over to the cashier.
"!"
We left the store in silence, SFS carrying the bag and glancing at me.
"Was there anything else you wanted?"
Even if there was, I couldn't shop here! Such a waste of money...
I tried not to sigh. "No."
"Then why don't we walk?"
We walked.
"Naida told me a lot about you."
My eyebrows twitched. There wasn't much to say so what did she say?
"She did?"
"Yeah, how are you liking Japan so far?"
The question itself made me uncomfortable, it's like being asked how I liked his gift. Sort of conceited. But I knew my brain was in the wrong corner at the moment so I tried to think positively.
"It's... nice."
"...I see. It seems you've made friends?"
"Yeah."
A silence fell. Was I being too curt? Did he expect me to elaborate?
"Are they a lot?"
"Not really, I've only made two."
"I see."
He says "I see" a lot, doesn't he? Well, I also do that too. But for some reason it's annoying.
"What... do you do?" I decided to ask him.
Being asked a question must have caught him off guard.
"...I make music, well, I used to. Now, I simply help manage an agency."
"Is that so? Are you supposed to be famous?"
He turned his head to glance at me, perhaps taken aback. For a brief second his sunglasses slipped down revealing a bit of white but not showing his eyes completely, he pushed it back up before I could get a good look.
"What makes you think that?"
What was with that? Well, I suppose my tone was a bit rude just now maybe? Like condescending? Ugh. Fuck it, I've already ruined it.
"Why are you so loaded? Also, why do you wear sunglasses? Are your eyes sensitive or is it to disguise yourself from fans?"
"They are." He answered my question but which one? How did he manage to last with Mom being like this?
"I wouldn't describe myself as famous, but well... I accomplished a lot during my youth. Still, there are many people who wouldn't know my name even if I showed up on the news."
I felt slightly guilty hearing that, after all, I couldn't remember his name either. I looked elsewhere not to make it obvious. I had an inkling as to what he meant tho. He was famous on a small scale. To those who aren't interested in music or a specific genre, he's just another random person. There's trillions of musicians out there in the world after all.
"I thought we were here because you couldn't walk around peacefully in other stores."
"Well, there is that." he said. "But also that I like places like these, it's quieter."
So, are you super famous or not? He talks like a snob, and I should know because I am one. His vagueness was starting to annoy me.
"I have a friend that plays music too. He got signed by an agency recently."
"I see."
What the hell? He doesn't sound interested at all.
"Is this your first marriage?" I asked him.
He paused to look at me. The unfiltered question finally dawned on me.
"Yes, it is."
Did Mom not tell him anything? Should I have said anything? Am I the thumbtack?
"I see..."
"Your Mother was only married once as well, wasn't she?" Crap, now he's even checking.
"I didn't ask because of mom I asked because you had the vibe of a divorced man."
"...A divorced man?"
"Mmm."
"What even is that?"
"It's like you're used to living alone, or more like you can live well on your own?"
"I'm an adult, it'd be weird if I didn't know how to take care of myself."
"But most male adults function poorly without a woman... you know? Women are like maids in relationships..."
"Ahh. So that's what you're talking about."
"Mom's too busy to be a maid, so it's always up to me."
"Always up to you?"
"So thanks I guess."
"Are you thanking me for my absence? I don't plan on living away if that's what you're getting at."
My face fell.
"My absence up to this point has been inexcusable, I've been preoccupied but now that things have calmed down, I can come home more often."
Come home more often?
It felt weird. It felt wrong, knowing the home I had, was considered a home to him as well... Some part of me must have been thinking Mom was a mistress like Auntie even though I hoped the opposite, like maybe he wouldn't come home often. Or Ever. Maybe this feeling is more like a "This town ain't big enough for the two of us" sort of feeling. Even though this man is the said mayor of the town, it didn't feel right for him to show his face often or at all.
What if I get used to him?
Let's lay it all out first.
"I can't cook fancy things."
"No one's asking you to cook, I can."
"Since you're both working it's up to me though..."
"Just because we both work, doesn't mean we can't cook. Where is this coming from"
"Ehhhh...." That's always been the excuse in the past though. Well, we'll see how things unfold.