I cried.
I cried for the life he lived.
I cried for the grief I felt inseparable from my own.
I cried and cried until no tears were left.
Once the tears stopped falling a sense of calm swept through me. The emotions no longer an overwhelming force that left me with no room to breathe.
I could not separate where I began, where he ended. Everything he was intertwined within me, with me, so much so that he was me and I was him.
I could feel a struggle happening inside. One for control. If I wasn't careful, I risked losing who I was to him.
I don't know how I knew but I did. Although I felt sorry for him, although I understood, it didn't mean I was going to relinquish my claim. I already let go once, I couldn't let myself do that again.
As I thought these thoughts, the struggle within me calmed down. I felt, rather than saw, someone approach me.
I turned and saw Drake.
Well...
Drake but not quite Drake.
It's as though this apparition before me was the Drake I had witnessed but more. The more being every Drake he could have been. The potential that Drake had, the lives he could have led. It hurts to see all the Drakes that never were.
I just know I can trust it. Trust it with my life. Something deep inside me calls to it. I don't understand why. This trust puts me on my guard. I don't trust easily. This unwarranted faith in any entity is strange coming from me and I fight against it.
It moves towards me and reaches out its hand. I fight these feelings and the desire to reach out immediately.
"It's okay. It's all going to be okay. You might not understand now, but you will" its voice whispers in my head.
I want to interrogate it. I have so many questions. Yet, I can't bring myself to break this peace between us. I realised with a start that I've lost myself in its eyes, the one constant amidst all that could be. It didn't lower its hand as I continued to stare at it. Nor did it falter under my scrutiny. It let me take my fill and look.
It could have been an eternity, or perhaps just a few minutes later when I finally looked away.
I took its hand eventually and was surprised mine didn't pass right through. It pulled me up and as I stood I realised that I no longer felt conflicted about trusting this entity.
As though by accepting its hand I'd made a decision. A decision I didn't yet fully understand, but a decision nonetheless.
As I'm about to ask for an explanation, anything to make sense of what had happened, the apparition speaks into my mind again.
"I can't explain everything to you right this instant, but I promise you will understand soon enough. I will be here, and we will meet again. When we do -" it starts to say but is cut off as I'm jerked away and everything spins.
When I open my eyes next, I see a face I simultaneously don't know and would give my life for.
"Mom", I said as though that's all that mattered. Maybe it did.