{Quîncy}
Î bîte my lîp, takîng a deep breath.
"Lîsten, Î've been thînkîng about ît for a long whîle now."
Î begîn calmly.
Sîlence.
Î take that as a sîgn to contînue.
Though Î am very nervous.
Î've spent weeks rehearsîng what Î'd say to her.
How Î'd say ît.
But now as Î stand here before her, completely out of breath and pantîng, my mînd îs blank.
Completely.
"For the past couple of months, you've been on my mînd more than a frîend should have been. Î've been thînking of ways Î could sort of express my feelîng wîthout makîng everythîng weîrd....Ît wasn't supposed to happen that way."
Î get a lîttle frustrated.
Nothîng ever comes out the right way.
She îs stîll sîlent.
Î don't even try to explaîn more.
Î'll just end up embarrassîng myself.
Suddenly Î'm all hot agaîn, thîs tîme because Î feel her eyes borîng înto my soul.
Always makes me nervous. Î wîsh Î knew what she was thînkîng.
"Geez, îs ît hot în here or what? Can you pop open a wîndow or somethîng?"
Î start panîckîng, shootîng up.
"Quîncy, honey."
Î absolutely love ît when she talks all softly to me.
Ît makes me feel all gooey on the însîde.
Ît also relaxes my frazzled mînd.
My mother used to talk to me lîke that.
"Î can't take ît."
Î breathe, startîng to pace.
Any of thîs.
The anxîous feelîng Î get îs somethîng Î've never experîenced before.
Î've never broken out înto a sweat out of nowhere before.
Î've never felt a rush of calmness rush over me just because Î felt someone's eyes on me before.
Î've never felt such a strong connectîon wîth anyone.
Never în my whole lîfe.
Î thînk all of thîs but when Î open my mouth to say ît, my voîce seems to get stuck în my throat and Î end up chokîng w a lunatîc.
Suddenly Î feel her hand on my shoulder.
"Here, sît back down."
Her voîce îs în my ear.
"Okay."
Î whîsper as she hands me a glass of cold water.
"Ît dîdn't come out rîght."
Î let her know, shakîng my head.
"Î know, sweetîe. Just drînk, you're gettîng yourself all worked up."
She soothes, runnîng her fîngers through my haîr.
Î obey reluctantly but Î start to get a lîttle emotîonal.
God, Î mîss her.
Ît's only been a couple of days but ît's really felt lîke years.
"All done?"
"Yes, thanks."
Î say quîety.
The sîlence îs back.
"Î know that Î put up a front but în realîty, Î just dont know how to say how Î really feel. Î dîdn't mean to make you upset, lovîe. Never în a mîllîon years dîd Î mean to hurt you. You're lîke the coolest person Î've ever met."
Î say softly, swîngîng my legs absentmîndedly.
"...Really?"
She whîspers.
She's stîll pretty close by.
Î can feel her body heat.
"Of course. You're so nîce to me. Real funny too. Î dont thînk Î've ever met anyone as understandîng as you are."
Î sîgh.
What she doesn't understand îs that whenever Î'm around her, Î forget that Î'm dîfferent than everyone else.
She treats me equal, îf not better.
She's so good at makîng me feel comfortable and accepted.
So Î try to tell her în the best way that Î can.
She doesn't say anythîng the whole time, whîch makes me unbearably nervous.
"Î lîke ît when you're close. Ever sînce that fîrst day that Î met you at the hospîtal, Î knew Î'd never be as comfortable around anybody else. There's just somethîng about you..."
Î traîl off as somethîng soft presses up agaînst my cheek.
Her hand.
My eyes flutter closed as Î try not to crumble.
She's...my everythîng.
There has lîterally not been a day that Î haven't fallen asleep thînkîng about her.
She's just too perfect to me.
Her smooth palms calm my jumbled nerves.
Always makes me feel content when she cups my face în her hands.
"Quîncy..."
She whîspers, her breath fannîng my face.
"Yes?"
Î breathe, slowly coverîng her hand wîth mîne.
"Î-"
Î hate gettîng înterrupted.
There îs an îmmedîate scowl on my face as the door opens just as she starts talkîng.
"Tîara? Hello, we're-....oh."
Jenny.
Î sîgh loudly as Tîara darts away.
"Hey, guys."
She greets awkwardly.
"We dîdn't mean to înterrupt. We can come back later-"
There îs amusement în Brandon's voîce.
Î put my head în my hands.
"Oh, ît's fîne. We were just talkîng."
Tîara hurrîes to say.
"Hî, Quîn."
Ruby greets softly.
"Hey."
Î grunt, foldîng my arms.
"Ît's great that you guys are makîng up, Î'm ready for the trîp already. We'll let you fînîsh up, come on guys. Let's go waît în the other room."
Jenny îs saying în her usual bossy way.
Î refraîn from rollîng my eyes.
She's takîng her new lîttle love înterest on a extended date.
Otherwîse known as nudgîng her way înto our vacatîon.
Derek îs a nîce guy though, Î met hîm the other day.
Î sîgh once agaîn as the room becomes sîlent.
Knowîng them, Î bet they're lîstenîng on the other sîde of the door.
"You're glarîng, sweetîe."
Î îmmedîately stop.
"You're too far away."
Î mutter.
She sîghs.
"Here, unfold these."
My breath catches once agaîn as she walks forward and unfolds my arms.
"You don't have to tell me anythîng. Î just dont want thîngs to be awkward between us. Everythîng îs already perfect to me. Just havîng you în my lîfe îs enough, Tîara. We don't have to get romantîcally învolved."
Î hear myself say.
Although ît kîlls me to say ît, Î want her to know.
Just în case she doesn't lîke me.
Î don't want our frîendshîp to get straîned because of my bîg mouth.
"Yeah, Î know."
She says quîetly.
Î bîte my lîp.
"Î'm sorry for showîng up at your job agaîn. Î hope you dîdn't get în trouble or anythîng."
Î hesîtate.
"Ît's okay, honey. Everythîng îs fîne. You're very sweet. Good at showîng how much you care."
She soothes.
"Hug?"
Î whîsper.
She's already wrappîng her arms around my neck.
Î hug her back slowly, rubbîng her back.
"How about we enjoy our vacatîon and then worry about everythîng else, yes?"
She says softly, meltîng înto my arms.
Î suppress a groan, holdîng her even closer.
"That sounds good."
Î grumble as she runs her fîngers through my haîr.
"Good."
She pulls away far too fast.
"Dont worry, we can cuddle up extra close and spend a lot of tîme together regardless, yes?"
She îgnores my frown and starts to pace.
The floorboards creak under her.
"Yes ma'am."
She stops.
"What îs ît?"
Î ask absentmîndedly, scratchîng my neck.
"Î dont know. Î guess Î feel a bît wrong for not admîttîng at least one thîng."
She says awkwardly.
"Oh?"
My breath halts.
"You're the coolest person Î've ever met too, Quîncy."
Oh God.
.
.
.
{Tiara}
"Why are you so quiet today? It's the day! You aren't excited?"
Ruby chatters as she spins around in my chair.
She's supposed to be helping me pack for the trip but she gave up a couple minutes ago and decided to start torturing me.
Jenny is sleeping peacefully on the bed.
She's exhausted after having to fend off her cute boyfriend from the horny teenage girls on the first floor.
God I hate them.
They're always giggling and whispering whenever they see Quincy.
Anyway, Derek is a total sweetheart.
He was so nervous to meet us too, he was blushing the whole time.
The boys left a couple minutes ago to go to Brandon's place for last minute drinks before the drive.
"I am. Just have a lot of stuff to think about."
I sag quietly, folding my favorite night shirt.
Quincy gave it to me a while ago.
Well he didn't, he left it over here and I refuse to give it back.
It's just so big and comfortable.
It still smells like him.
Almost everything reminds me of him.
That cute little shy smile he sends my way every time I call him honey or sweetie.
My heart squeezes just thinking about how sincere and serious he was on Tuesday.
I still don't know what to think of it.
I've spent the past 3 nights awake tossing and turning.
He wants to be in a relationship with me.
Im flattered and all, but I don't know how to be in a relationship.
I dated one guy back in high school and it wasn't a pleasant experience.
And I know that all relationships are not the same but what if I mess it up?
I don't want to mess up our friendship.
I'm hesitant but it doesn't stop me from constantly thinking about him.
He's so sexy.
So masculine yet so soft to me.
When it's just us, he's more in a vulnerable state.
I noticed that every time we go out, he's different.
Quieter.
He always has his hands in his pockets and his head bowed.
Like he doesn't want anybody to see him.
Plus his face is still.
Yet every time I grab his arm, his shoulders visibly relax.
"Every time I'm around you, I feel calm."
I try to shake his words but they are permanently ingrained in my mind.
Jesus, he makes me feel so important.
Ruby watches me struggle to stop thinking about him.
I want him.
More than anything.
"Jesus, you guys are pathetic."
She sighs.
I glare.
"You wouldn't understand."
I say simply, zipping up my suitcase.
She sends me a look.
"I wouldn't understand? I guess you forget that I met Brandon right after I got out of a serious relationship. Tiara, we were friends for 2 years before we got together."
She reminds me.
I hesitate.
"I'm just scared. I dont want to lose what we have if something were to go wrong. You know how awkward I am."
I struggle to say.
"He knows how you are too."
She makes a good point.
I stay silent.
"Besides, Im pretty sure you dont have anything to worry about. You guys are 100% compatible. You get along extremely well. Plus everyone can tell that you like each other a lot. I think you should just go for it. You're happy. The happiest that I've seen you since we became friends. It's not common for a person to make you feel the way he does. Trust me, I was afraid too. You'll see that everything is fine only if you give him a chance, honey."
She says softly.
I let out a shaky breath.
She always knows just what to say to get me to rethink everything.