N A M J O O N
I avoided the gym showers for the next few weeks of training. Jhope was cautious with me the following few days after my episode. I didn't like it, thankfully it didn't last long.
I had successfully finished training with Jhope and after a long session with my therapist I was cleared to work.
Jhope would be working with me. I knew the job wasn't intense for the most part, but it was important to be on guard at all times. The only time you were guaranteed action was if you went on a mission. The only time you leave the property is if you are a body guard. And the only time you don't just stand there and look intimidating is when there are visitors.
I couldn't say I was fully ready for hours of doing pretty much nothing. We would rotate regularly so it wasn't completely boring.
"You ready?" Jhope asked, popping his head in my room.
I put the stuffed bunny I was holding into my uniform and nodded.
We walked out and to the house where we would be on watch. Jeon was in the process of stepping down and letting his son, Jungkook, take over so we were to be on high alert in case one of Jeon's old enemies came back for one last fight before he would move away where no one could find him.
After the first two hours of silence my mind started to wander to places I wish it wouldn't have. I glanced over at Jhope and focused on him and all the bad thoughts went away.
I had stopped questioning why Jhope could make all my bad thoughts disappear, I just appreciated it. Jhope had been the first to care about me, treat me like an equal, and not use my past, which no one really knew, to judge me like most of the others did.
"You okay?" Jhope asked pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Yes."
We didn't talk anymore after that, not until we were dismissed.
When we were done we went back home and Jhope made dinner.
"Its my first day back and I already miss training you. Sure beats the silence," he said and I smiled.
"It's daunting," I said.
"Being left to your thoughts?"
I nodded.
"I think I have a solution to that," he smiled as he plated the dinner he had prepared.
* * *
The next day Jhope had a solution.
Music.
I was allowed a bluetooth ear piece to play music from the iPod Jhope bought for me.
I had tried a lot of things to distract me from my thoughts throughout the years. Reading, writing, fighting. But none of them worked as well as music did. Specifically classical.
It was calming and got my mind thinking about the rhythms, notes and melodies. Time flew by at work the next few days because of the music.
One day after our shift Jhope asked if I had ever played an instrument before. I shook my head. Never had the time or money when I was little and it wasn't something that was available for me in prison.
"How would you like to? I spoke to your therapist and she said it could be beneficial for you to have an outlet like playing an instrument," Jhope suggested.
"Like cooking is yours?"
He nodded and his lips twitched with a smile, "Exactly."
"I guess I can try." Jhope seemed really happy with the idea of me doing something like this. And I really liked seeing him happy, so I would try it.
I think he felt bad about me just sitting around the place doing nothing. But it's not like I wasn't used to it.
"What are you interested in playing?"
I shrugged, I had never really given it much thought. A memory flashed in my head. A distant, more pleasant memory.
I was very little but we had gone to a friend of my parents and the woman played the violin, beautifully. She had put on a mini concert for us in her living room. I remember being mesmerized even as a toddler.
"The violin."
"I know a guy who plays. I'm sure he would agree to teach you if you'd like."
I nodded, "Thank you."
I met with the man who was going to teach me violin a few times before the lessons actually began. Ensuring that he was someone I could work with. He was very kind and Jhope assured me he was very patient, which would be important.
He suggested a few violins that I could chose from to get as a beginner, so on out first day off, which was a few weeks after the idea of me playing was suggested, we went shopping for one.
After stops at three different stores we had finally gotten a violin. I knew absolutely nothing about the violin except that you played it with a bow.
"You excited?" Jhope asked as we drove home. I fidgeted with my stuffed bunny. I was excited, for the first time in what felt like my entire life I was actually genuinely excited for something.
"Yes."
Jhope smiled which made me smile.
Because we just so happened to have the same day off with Jason, my violin teacher, we decided to just start lessons that day. It would only be me learning the basics of the instrument anyway. Like how to hold the instrument and the bow properly. It was kind of awkward at first but Jason assured me it would get easier. I was taught what strings were what and how to properly play a note.
I couldn't help but get discouraged when Jason's note sounded a lot better than my choppy one. Again I was assured it would get better with time.
After an hour of learning the basics we called it a day and Jason left but not after complimenting my fast learning abilities which I figured was I lie to try and make me feel better. It worked.
When Jason was gone Jhope told me he was going to spend some time at the gym and that I was welcome to come too if I wanted. I decided to stay back and practice some more.
* * *
"
Namjoon," Jhope gently shook my shoulder. I had taken a nap a little after Jhope had gone to the gym, tired of practicing the Violin.
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked up at him. I had fallen asleep on the couch.
"Dinner is ready. You hungry?"
I wasn't really but I liked spending time with Jhope so I just agreed and we went and sat at the table
It was silent for a while as it usually is because Jhope is eating his wonderful creation.
I decided to be the first one to break the silence, which was rare but I was starting to feel more confident around him the more time I spent with him.
"How was the gym?"
Jhope looked a little surprised that I had spoken first but answered without hesitation, "Relaxing. It's nice to just lift sometimes."
I couldn't agree, I liked cardio more than I liked lifting. But I'm pretty sure Jhope knew that. We kind of knew a lot about each other even if we didn't talk a lot.
Like I knew his favorite food was spaghetti and meatballs, his own special recipe. He made it on special occasions. His favorite book was The Picture of Dorian Gray. He reread it a lot and his copy was worn and used. He loved to snack on blueberries whenever we got them and his favorite color was orange.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked after a couple minutes of silence.
I debated on if I should tell the truth or not and decided to just do it, "How much we know about each other even if we don't speak a lot."
He thought about it and agreed, "You're right."
"Like what's my favorite food?" I asked to demonstrate.
"Chicken fried rice, but no veggies." Correct.
"Favorite workout?"
"Cardio you weirdo," he answered correctly and we both laughed. It felt good to laugh with him.
"Favorite animal?"
"Bunny."
I nodded pulling out the stuffed bunny I kept with me.
"Will I ever know the story of that bunny?" He asked then immediately realized what he had just asked and stuttered, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked. I wasn't thinking."
I shook my head, "It's okay."
And it really was for once. I felt like I could really talk to him about it one day. Not today but someday. And I had this gut feeling that he wouldn't think any lesser of me for knowing my past.
A/N:
I do not play the violin (though I wish I did). So if anything is wrong or I forget something during the lesson scenes, please feel free to correct me (kindly). And if any of you know how to play and want to help me out a bit on understanding how it works, I would greatly appreciate it!