The day I met Gia was the day my black and white days finally gained some life. She was a stranger from a place no one knew. She didn't seem to care about what people thought about her. Always speaking her mind with such confidence that I couldn't help but seek her out with my eyes.
It was so strange that someone of the same sex made me feel like this and it scared me so much. What did this mean and was it good? Since I was a child and rather stupid I did join other people who were messing with her but my heart wasn't in it. Even though I was one of the people who were messing with her, I wasn't hated by her and she could see that I didn't even want to bully her.
We ended up having a secret friendship with each other, it was like she was mine alone and I just loved that. I wanted to change myself so I could be a better friend to her. I started to pick out a path that my family disapproves of and it was scary. Yet she was always by my side to help me out.
I remember the day when that man came and messed up the world that only belonged to the two of us… I hated him and I wanted him gone. I felt pleased that she didn't pay him much attention and I would always show off how close we were together.
But eventually, the distance between them slowly closed and I was losing my position in her heart. It felt like I was being covered in cold water and I wanted to cry. I couldn't understand these feelings of mine so I put some distance between her and me.
She noticed this change in me and questioned why I was acting like this. She assumed I like that man and the thought of her thinking I was in love with him was so disgusting and I just let out the secret that was hidden away deep in my heart.
Even though I felt like a weight was taken off my heart I couldn't get rid of the fear of her reaction to these feelings of mine. But instead of ending our friendship and never talking to me again, she understood how I was feeling and didn't shame me for my feelings. Even though she couldn't accept them she wouldn't stop being my friend because of it.
That was how my first love ended, I still Gia more than anything but I knew I could never have a place in her heart. So I decided to always follow behind her and help her out with many different things. She never told me why she would do these things, only telling me it was to make up for her family's past mistakes.
During those years with me following her and her getting more people to follow her as well, I eventually fell in love with someone else. He was a beastman and he was kind of stupid, like on the level of Gia which is saying something.
I guess that what drew me to him and that made me question if I like people who were rather dumb. It was rather shocking new information regarding me and I had to look back on all the people I liked before who all turned out to be stupid in some way.
I end up dating him against my family's wishes and when I mention I wanted to get married to him they told me it was either him or them. So I was cut off from my family and haven't spoken to them since then. He felt guilty about what happened and always wondered if it was better that I ended the relationship so I could be let back into my family.
I didn't care about my family abandoning me and I told him I was okay with being by his side until death. Even though he was still feeling guilty he couldn't hide how happy he was that I decided I wanted to be with him. We ended up getting married a few months after Gia married that man.
I don't know if it was because we were close or something like that but we ended up getting pregnant around the same time. Gia showed uncharacteristic nervousness while pregnant and was always reading books on how to be a good mother. I would always have to ease her worries and tell her that she would be perfect no matter what.
I ended up giving birth first and it was rather strange that my son came out looking like a dog that was in a humanoid shape. It made Gia question if her child would be like that as well but I told her it was just because of who my husband was. When her son finally came into the world she was so happy that she cried for a couple of weeks.
My son was infatuated with Gia and I could only laugh at how my son loved Gia as I did. I guess we really did have the same taste in people after all… He would always bring her gifts to show off how much he liked her. Gia would always accept the gifts with a smile on her face even when some of it was small dead animals my son managed to catch without my knowledge.
It was a happy family of those three and I reluctantly gave that man my blessing when I saw how gently he was treating his son. I still hated that man but I put it aside just because of how much Gia loved him. We never did speak to each other kindly when we were alone without her by our sides. We just could never like each other and I am fine with that.
When Gia was pregnant again I noticed that she looked a bit different from her first pregnancy. She was tired all the time and looked paler than usual. Whenever I would question her I would just get brushed off. I wonder if she knew that she was going to die if she gave birth to her child…
It was a bittersweet moment when she gave birth to Aurelia. She lived long enough to hold her daughter but not long enough for Aurelia to look at her. That man locked himself away with Gia's dead body for a couple of days until he finally allowed her to be buried.
He wouldn't hold Aurelia at all and didn't allow her brother to even be in her presence. I ended up learning to my horror that he wanted to give her up so I forced myself to beg him to let me raise her in Gia's old home. He did allow that but told me he wouldn't provide her with any more servants and that I would have to find more by myself.
I wanted to curse at him but I knew he was the only thing allowing me to watch over Aurelia so I kept my feelings to myself. I found old close friends of Gia and they agreed to help me raise Aurelia. I felt bad that I would be focusing my attention more on Aurelia than my own child but my husband promised me it wasn't any problem and that he would take care of our son.
It was hard to take care of Aurelia because she wouldn't stop crying as a baby. It was like she understood that she wasn't wanted by her own father. It would always make me feel so upset and I would always whisper to her as she slept that I loved her.
As I watched Aurelia grow up and tried to have her father give her attention and watch her cry when she was coldly rejected by her own father it made my heart ache for her. I tried so much to distance her from this but she was always seeking out the love of her father.
I felt so distraught when she wouldn't eat for a couple of days and ended up having to go to the hospital due to how weak her body was. I hated that man so much and I wanted to kill him for what he was doing to Aurelia.
I don't know why but it felt like Aurelia changed after coming out of the hospital. Her eyes were much colder and she didn't smile a lot anymore. It was like her heart became cold and closed off from the world.
She would often go off to the library and read by herself for many hours. I would be forced to remind her of the times when her food was being served. She also stopped allowing people to help her get dressed or shower. She distanced herself from everyone and I was worried it would affect her negatively.
She would often let down her guard near me and show me her soft personality but only for a second. It was like she was scared to show her vulnerable side in fear she will be hurt. I wanted to say something but no words seem right…
I don't know if she noticed but whenever she was near that silly son of mine her eyes would become softer and wouldn't be so stiff near him. Even though my dumb son was a lovesick fool in front of her, Aurelia couldn't help but smile at his actions.
Aurelia was slowly opening herself again and was asking about her mother. It was a huge moment when she told me she loved me. I couldn't help but cry to myself and only stopped when my husband comforted me with a hug.
But good things never last forever… It was that man's fault for allowing this to happen. Making hatred build up between his children… Making Aurelia become like that, like someone who saw no point in living anymore.
She looked so scared when she saw me and I just wanted to hug her close to me, tell her everything was alright. I could never be scared of the child I raised for so many years… Yet she ran away from me and I couldn't find her at all, no matter how much I tried.
I never felt so much panic when I went back to the house and couldn't find her there either. The only thing left of her was that magic stone necklace of hers. I felt like I was going to faint due to how worried I was. Nothing could calm me down and I couldn't help but sob uncontrollably at random times.
When I finally saw her again and she ran to me crying, I felt like everything would be better now. She was letting down her guard and let me in a bit more than usual. I don't know what my son said to her but it seemed like it was a good talk.
I still feel a bit useless as an adult… I never could help her during the times when her father kept on showing her only hate and rejection. Nothing I could say could help her get over the fact she wasn't wanted by her father. That her own family hated her.
I still don't have words for her but I will show her all the love a parent should give to a child. I don't know if she would even want my love but I will still give it to her. I want her to smile so happily I could mistake it for her mother's smile.
The child that I raised for many years has changed and I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing yet. But the only thing that hasn't changed is how much I love and care for her like she is my own daughter.
I will be by her side like her mother was by my side. I won't allow that man to hurt her anymore. Someone like that really wasn't good enough for Gia. I don't know if it is my jealousy still talking but I can never like a man like that.
Now I will focus all my attention on making sure Aurelia grows up to be someone who can see that while there are hateful people in the world there are people who are truly good no matter what. I want the light in her eyes to grow brighter. She is after all my sweet precious daughter.