I am the only child of the rulers of Greenflower and it is a suffocating position. I am always being looked at by everyone and I am not allowed to show any type of weakness… My parents do love and care for me but they don't truly understand what I go through. Being a prince isn't as perfect as everyone thinks it is. I am only seen as a perfect human being.
When I started to wear female clothes everyone stopped looking at me and started whispering how horrible it was that my parents had a child like me. My parents were fine with what I was wearing, even my mom would help me get cute clothing so that I could look extra cute. This didn't help me make a lot of friends but I didn't really care about that. I was fine by myself and I didn't need anyone.
The first meeting with Aurelia was actually one-sided. I saw her from behind a wall and she was crying by herself. She looked like she was pushed onto the ground pretty badly and was bleeding from her knee. She was trying hard to stop the bleeding on her knee and cry harder whenever she put pressure onto her knee.
I could have helped her out but I didn't want to deal with that. I don't know how to deal with people who were crying so I just left her by herself. I pretend not to hear her painful and lonely cries. It wasn't anything that concerned me.
When we formally met I noticed right away she fell in love with me at first sight. Even though I was dressed in female clothing she didn't care about that. She stuck to my side during the time we were alone together and didn't look away from me as I left with my parents.
I knew my parents were curious about how I felt about her and that didn't sit well with me. But I lied and told them I liked her. If they were planning for me to marry her in the future I would be okay with it. She was someone who probably gave in easily if it meant she would get love in return. Pathetic.
We ended up meeting with each other many times after that and got 'closer'. She saw me as someone who she could trust. She would always tell me how much her father and brother dislike her. She would always wonder why nothing she did made either of them happy. I just listened to what she said with no care but gave her a false comforting smile whenever she would look at me with lonely eyes.
She was someone who had a harder life than me and I felt pleased that there was someone else having a harder time than me. I would always draw her in with false sweet words and make her trust me with no doubt in her eyes.
I felt pleased with this relationship and wanted it to last until I grew bored with this act of mine. She was someone who wanted love and I was giving it to her. I was someone who wanted to have some form of control in my life and she gave me that.
This wasn't healthy, it was toxic as hell but I didn't want to stop at all. I was fine with this never changing but one day she totally changed… She wasn't the same person looking for love and acceptance.
When I saw her after learning she was in the hospital for a few days and greeted her with tears, I only saw the coldness in her eyes. It was like she was seeing through me and realizing I was a fake. I didn't like this at all. She wasn't allowed to get rid of me. Only I was allowed to decide that, not her.
I may have gone a bit far with making sure she didn't leave my side but it worked and she still stayed by my side. But I can still see that she was looking at me with eyes that wanted to hurt me. I couldn't understand why this change had happened so quickly in her, she no longer looked at me with love in her eyes.
This made me upset for a while and I tried to help make her view of me get better but it was like she knew I was only pretending to act kindly to her. She didn't trust me at all and only looked at me with doubtful eyes. I didn't like that and I wanted it to stop…
I felt like I was being left behind in the world that only had the two of us in it. I felt so scared thinking I would be alone… Even though I was using her to have some type of control in my life I didn't want to lose the only person who viewed me as a friend. I didn't want to be alone… I don't want to be abandoned…
Everything changed when it was her birthday, I went to it hoping to do something to make our relationship get closer. I didn't really bring a present with me since I realized I didn't know what she liked and that really didn't help with trying to fix our tense friendship.
As I was trying to think about what I should do I ended up getting surrounded by a group of boys who were looking at me with the same eyes that all the adults surrounding my parents had. I felt really nervous and couldn't say anything as they started to mess with me. One of the boys told someone to get some water and I couldn't help but get even more nervous when I realized what they wanted to do to me.
When one of the boys came back with water and poured it on me I just couldn't hold back my tears anymore. I wanted to leave, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kill them all. I was biting the inside of my cheek hard as I listened to all the boys laugh at me as I cried.
I hate this and just want it to stop already. I didn't understand why I had to deal with this shit just because of how I dress… It's just too much for me to handle and I just want it to stop already!
As I started to see the world in a gray state I felt light come back in when I heard the voice of Aurelia. She looked so mysterious as she walked up to the group of boys who were surrounding me. She was wearing all black and that should have given her a dark look but it made it seem like she was glowing.
She grabs the wrist of the boy who poured the water on me and twists it. I let out a quiet gasp when he hit her in the face but she didn't seem to care about it. She forced the boy to get to his knees and slapped him across the face a couple of times. The boy ended up crying but she didn't stop.
She managed to make all the other boys get nervous once they realize what could happen to their families if my parents learned that they did this to me. Even though she was looking at the boys with a cold look in her eyes, I couldn't help but find her so beautiful at the moment.
When all the boys ran off in fear Aurelia dragged me to a room and told me to wait in there. When she came back with a towel and helped me dry off we were left in awkward silence. I didn't know what to say to my childhood friend who is so different from before. She is so far away now and I don't know how I should feel about that. I never realized how much I liked having her so close to me before.
I didn't enjoy this and I was questioning if she was acting like this because she didn't like the way I was dressed. She would always praise what I wore before but now she barely even looks at me or says anything about the clothes I wear in her presence. I didn't want her to be like everyone else and find me strange because of what I wear…
She told me that it didn't matter to her and that everyone who is bothered by me wearing these clothes is just jealous of me or is attracted to me. For some reason that caused tears to come to my eyes and I hid my face in her strong shoulder. I felt my heartbeat speed up when she grabbed my hand.
Aah… What a funny situation this is… I can't believe I fell in love with Aurelia when she doesn't even like me anymore. Such a cruel fate…
I hugged her when she told me I looked cute in my dress and didn't want to let go. It was only the two of us again… Back in the world that was made for only us. I didn't want to lose this again.
After realizing I was in love with Aurelia I was determined to make her fall back in love with me. I would always visit her and make her visit me so that we could get closer again. She looked confused about this change but didn't say anything to me.
I always felt so nervous whenever she was looking at other boys who weren't me. I felt happy at how much she hated Colton and I didn't have to worry about her falling in love with him. I rather her hate everyone and only have me by her side. I want to be the only person she allows next to her.
So it is understandable I would be pissed when I saw a new servant of hers that was looking at her with the same look Aurelia used to give me. I hated him and I hated that Aurelia didn't seem to mind him. I didn't even think that Aurelia realized this at all which scares me so much.
I'm so scared that Aurelia will fall in love with someone and leave me behind. I don't want her to do that at all. I know I was so cruel to her before with my false kindness and false friendship but I really don't want to lose her…
This distance between us is slowly getting bigger and I am worried if I am not always by her side the distance will be so huge that I can barely reach her anymore. She is going to leave my side if I don't do something that will force her to always stand with me.
It didn't help that I ended up getting a view of this distance… Aurelia loves her family so much even though they hate her so much. The fact that her own brother she loves more than anything wanted to kill her really messed her up and showed me a side of her that I never saw before.
It felt like I was seeing someone who could simply disappear since there was nothing left for here. No matter what I did or said, I know that I wouldn't be the one to bring her back to the place where I am. I wanted to go to her side but my parents took me back home.
It isn't fair that I can't be with her, that I am so far away from her. I didn't care about this distance before but now it is something that haunts me constantly… I hate that I wasn't there for her when she needed me.
I am a bad person and I know that. I didn't want to be like this. I should have honestly helped her whenever she was sad and lonely. I shouldn't have just been looking at her as someone I could easily control with my words.
I don't want to lose the one person who used to love me so much. I wanted to gain her trust back… I wanted to keep her by my side. I feel like I may lose a piece of myself if our relationship reaches a point where nothing can fix it.
If that happens… I will be forced to lock her away in a place that only I know about. Even if she hates me for that it wouldn't matter to me. As long as I have Aurelia nothing really matters to me...