"Right, so, then, so long as you haven't used it we should be fine then?" Noah questioned with hope uttering a voice in his mind as he glanced between the crossed Liora and the pinkish hued Caina. Nestled leaning against her leg a bag packed to the brim with what he was fearing to be most of her earthly belongings.
His question sent a flurry of red deeper across Caina's face while Liora simply clamped her fingers tighter around her arms.
"There's still the problem of you gifting my daughters toys, to a woman." Liora's eyes narrowed to a dangerous degree and lingered long enough on Noah that he felt a thin trickle of sweat crease his brow. "Haa…" Liora eventually sighed, releasing Noah from her ominous glare as she expression softened to one of more confliction.
"It's not that simple Noah. Ascleminia's children. They take these gestures very seriously, you can't just return it." She sighed rubbing her hand over her face as she tried to think of what she was going to do now.
"Actually, you can," Caina spoke from the side doing her best to keep as neutral a face as she could but failing wholeheartedly. "You need permission from Ascleminia herself and you gift it to her for her to love in place of yourself. But…" she trailed off, her cheeks sparking to red and sending an even wetter tide of nervous sweat across Noah's body, "…it… need's to be unloved…"
'Aka, she needs to have not used it. Which I'm guessing she has… fuck.' Noah groaned, "and you…?"
She nodded, earning her two sets of judging eyes. "I was stressed okay! Being a wench is a damned nightmare! I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I got here! And that was nearly a year ago! Not to mention being the only healer in a village of idiots means even when I do get the chance to sleep I can still be woken up to heal some damned brats broken arm or help a woman give birth! So yeah, I made use of your dick to destress okay!" her passionate barrage ending with steam billowing out of her as she realised her tangent had been more verbose than what she wanted.
Noah paled for the once too many time that day. Though finding himself not completely repulsed by hearing her say that. Even if that object wasn't modelled after himself.
Caina's head practically rammed straight down knocking into the table to linger there while Liora and Noah recoiled feeling the pain for her.
"Right… so… what now?" Noah questioned glancing between the two women.
Liora's fingers rapped along her upper arm, cheek twitching before muttering out after a sigh, "I can't really say, this is something for you two to deal with now. I'll give you two a moment to chat, I need some fresh air." She rose from the table and wandered her way through the hallway to the front door.
Caina slowly pulled her head from the table to blankly meet Noah's gaze, "what needs to happen now… is you need to take responsibility for what you've done to me."
"I haven't done anything. I didn't know about your customs, and I didn't force you to use it. So at most, you can fault me for being ignorant." He quickly covered his bases.
"You still gave it to me. And I'm still us-Uh, I still used it." Her words fumbled.
'Oh god, she's still using it,' Noah groaned and leaned his head back over the rest of the chair, exhaustion from the days events and revelations proving exhausting for him. 'It's not even made after me… wait, no? it's not made after mine!'
Realization coursed through his mind and he quickly shot his gaze down to Caina, "you said these gifts are modelled after the person gifting them right?" she nodded, "but that's not modelled after me, so, doesn't that make it void then?"
Caina's eyes fluttered as she pondered over his words, excitement slowly building up. "It, yes, it should… I think? I don't actually know," she whined. "I'd need to ask Ascleminia but I think that should-"
As if by a notion of god, in from the window fluttered a piece of parchment that danced across the waves of the winds, spinning amongst non-existent air to land right infront of Caina.
They shared a stare before she lowered herself to reading the contents of the note. Going pale as she did.
"What does it say?" Noah questioned.
"It says, uh… that I need to… uh," she stumbled over her words, "it says I need to make sure that… that it really isn't modelled after your penis…"
"She want's you to compare me to a dildo?"
Caina didn't know the word dildo, but she couldn't be bothered to question him about it for the simple reason of the second requirement. "I also need…" her voice low and barely notable. Noah wouldn't have realized she had said something had he not seen her lips moving.
"I'm sorry, what was that?"
She sucked in a trembling breath, letting it out in a single squeaking motion, "I also need to prove that the phallus feels better than, or worse than your own…" she rammed her face into her hands just seconds away from screaming in embarrassment.
Noah's mind reasonably ground to a halt, "wait, doesn't that mean we have to-"
"Have sex?" it wasn't he who finished his sentence, nor Caina. But Liora who had wandered back in just in time to hear the last portions of their conversation.
Both head rapidly shifted to meet with Liora, her cheek as twitchy as it had been since Noah's return. Her gaze blank as she stared at Noah in what he could only feel as dark, dark, judgement.
"Lucky you. But you aren't doing it until we get Noah to the church." She continued while making her way back to her seat. Her words aimed more to Noah than them both.
At this point, he was really wondering if this 'luck' he was having with women was proving to be more of a curse, what with him knocking up a wolf girl, a tree, and now apparently having to get his junk measured to prove that the dildo isn't his.
Caina's head tilted as she still steamed, "what? Why?" she asked with a trembling voice.
"Noah went into the forest and had sex with a Kanyon wolf. It's nothing too bad but I would rather he not go around spreading manos"
Caina's mouth parted as she nodded along with what she said. "Oh, then, yeah. I'd also rather not do… do… 'that'"
'Great so, apparently I'm now patient zero for what sounds like an std. Perfect.' He thought.
"When are you planning on going then?" Caina asked Noah directly.
He didn't even know there was a church, how was he supposed to know where it was and how to get there?
"I'll take him tomorrow. I need to make a confession as well so we'll slaughter two pigs with one knife then."
'That is one fucked up version of two birds, one stone. And I'd hope you can slaughter two pigs with one knife. It'd be a really shitty knife otherwise. Wait. No, stop getting distracted…' A yawn suddenly assaulted Noah, 'I'm tired…'
His apparent exhaustion was noted by the two women. "Noah, why don't you go sleep. I'll set something up for Caina. You are going to be staying here now, aren't you?" Liora questioned having long since surmised Caina's intentions after seeing the fatly packed bag.
"If possible please. I sort of… quit… being a wench. I've got plenty of buckles saved up that I can use to help with any purchases and I still get my annual emolument. So I can compensate you for letting me stay here."
"That's not… actually, yes that would be perfect, thank you." Liora quickly caught herself from being too generous. She could do with a decent bit of earning to save herself from going hungry. "Then why don't you come with tomorrow and we can head to the market to get some food."
While the two chattered about going shopping, something he was learning was a universal thing with women, Noah began lumbering himself towards his room to throw himself down onto his bed and let his exhaustion fade out of his body. Calming his aching lower half and preparing himself for the walk to wherever Liora was taking him tomorrow.
The following morning though, he would learn that he had slept for far too little a time.