Chereads / Killing Lamia / Chapter 8 - Feelings

Chapter 8 - Feelings

That is, it.... Someone needs to tell her. My eyes met Meynard's and I could tell he was beckoning me not to say anything. He knew how foolish she was being from believing her husband could still want anything to do with her.

"You don't really believe that do you?" I asked boldly toward Lamia. She stared back and forth between the two of us.

"His feelings don't matter as long as he is married to me," she growled unhappily. She stomped her foot in Meynard's direction. "Do I have to tell you to go once more?" Meynard bowed his head respectively but shot me a hatred look when he turned to leave immediately. "Cole, who asked you for your opinion?" Lamia turned on me suddenly as she backed me up against the wall next to the hole. "Your opinions are becoming annoying to listen to. I am only keeping you around for your own misery but if you start flipping the script of your role here, I will find a better one for you six feet under out at the cemetery where your brother's bones were buried."

I huffed in aggravation. I cannot understand why she is so obsessed with Eder. He does not love her. If he did, he would be here by her side. He ran away from her; she is a beast! I would run away from her too if I knew I could escape without getting caught. That bastard left us all here to suffer her tantrums of not having him under her thumb. If he had only devoted himself to her as a loving husband she would have co-existed with werewolves and kept the peace.

"No wonder he left you," I hissed through my teeth. "Everyone wants to leave you when you are like this. You are spoiled!" She took my shoulders by force and squeezed them tight as she breathed violently through her nostrils. She leaned in close to my face.

"You are the one to talk about love and loyalty. Do you think your family wants anything to do with you? Not with how you run your mouth. It is funny to think your family left you here to die. The least you could do is thank me for letting you live even when you back-talk me the way you have done today. I suppose you feel more comfortable around me since we slept in the same bed. I guess I will have to remind you of your place." She put pressure on my arms and I howled in pain as I felt like I was being crushed. My heart sunk as I fought to breathe through my pain and she held me up with an unnatural force. I knew what she wanted and I fought my mind to stay strong. She wanted to break me.

"Lamia, stop! Please! I will mind my tong for now on," I begged her. She relieved the pressure she inserted on my shoulders and let me go as she stepped away from me. I trembled as I sunk against the wall and pressed my head back against it for support. My body healed any crack she made on the bone but a phantom pain remained. I hate her. I hate her! I was lucky she did stop.

"Well?" Lamia asked expectantly. I tightened my jaw as I tried to figure out what she wanted from me. "Let me hear it," she hinted. Is this bitch wanting an apology now? I growled at her as I lowered my head to avoid looking in her direction.

"I'm sorry."

There, is she happy now?

I looked up to check her expression.

"I suppose that will do," she sighed out.

I was relieved as she stepped away from me. My body relaxed as she suddenly went back in the direction of my bedroom. Her hand raised to call me with her. I followed her obediently as she went and sat down on my couch. She gestured in the direction of the bathroom.

"Do yourself a favor and go take a shower. I don't know when the next time will be you'll get a chance to take one and you stink."

I sniffed my arm pit as I walked towards the bathroom. My mind was dizzy as I was filled with confusion. I thought we were leaving right away. She has time to make me take a shower. I suppose there is no need to hold Meynard's hand while he gathers the knights together and prepares vehicles for the trip, we're about to take to track my sister and old Alpha down.

I went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind me. I wasn't sure what her problem was exactly. It was hard to figure her out. She didn't have emotions and yet she seemed so emotional. Was it her craving for order? Her obsession with having whatever she wanted and it be exactly on point that made her so emotional seeming? I was left blown away but her swing of order. I cut my shower on as I stripped from the leftover clothes of yesterday's night. She was right, they did stink. I could smell dry blood on them. I didn't change when I got back home, my mistake.

I got under the shower just in time for it to begin warming up. I submerged my head under the water and let it run down my body. I felt my eyes swelling as I was completely alone in my thoughts. I was crying as her words repeated in my head. I was truly alone here. My family didn't care about me.

Lamia remained in my mind.

I knew my feelings were growing for her.

I couldn't get her lips off my mind. My frustration was growing as I held back my instincts. I was dying for the passion I felt last night in the car. I wanted the affection of her lips against mine once again. Her sweet words promised me she cared for me.

What was I thinking?

I want her to feel for me the way she craves for Eder's affections. I want to become her newest obsession. I want her to worship me the way she does towards the bare minimum mention of Eder.

What was this feeling I had towards her?

She made me frustrated.

I want to be strong for her. I want to change her whole being. I want to mold her into something new. I want to save her from her own destruction. It was stupid because I knew that would be impossible. I can't even confess I want to own these feelings of her.

I wish she had just stayed away from me. Now all I can think about is her lips against my own. I want to be able to recreate that heat we shared together in the car. This is so stupid of me to want this.

I finished my craving with a sad and pathetic hand job. I was able to finish with her on my mind. I was in misery as I cleaned up and got out of the shower to take a towel with me to my closet to dry off there.

If you asked me a year ago, I would have never believed to find myself jacking off to a bitch like Lamia... But I already slept with that asshole Emmett. I might as well continue sleeping in the dirt.

I got into a blue polo shirt that complimented my deep brown hair and blue eyes. I put on a plain pair of ripped jeans and some old sneakers. This was an outfit I kept around strictly just in case I were to transform into a wolf. I was the type to wear clothes in preparation. It also made me look nice, due to the frame of the shirt would show off my light muscles on my arms and the jeans were tight against my ass, giving it a plumper look. I'm sure she wouldn't notice. I dressed like this to impress Emmett, not that bitch. He's not even here. I should throw my clothes away.

I went out to show off my fresh look to her. She had waited patiently on the couch almost unmoved. Her eyes focused on the turned off TV screen.

"So?" I asked as I showed off my freshly showered body. "Does this smell better to you?" I asked her. I could agree with her on one thing, I did need that. I was a lot better feeling after the shower. It was also nice to get to beat myself off and relieve some of the stress I've cooped up from having to be around her.

"You look a lot better," she admitted. "While you were in there, I've been informed they're waiting for us. So, we're good to go. Do you need to eat before we head out? I can order someone to fetch you something delicious we serve the mutts down at Lycanthrope's kennels."

"No, usually I cook for myself. Jameson and Felix would let me fend for myself if I promised not to burn up the territory." I rubbed the back of my head as I thought back to what happened at the warehouse. It had been blamed on me since I was the remaining survivor. They couldn't believe my story about a human taking the suicide route. It was like Andrew never lived in the first place. I doubt there is anything to eat in the house here. Maybe some canned goods... I might find something delicious in the deep freezer down in the basement. I can't wait to look for that later. "I don't need to eat. We can go."

I am not hungry right now. Her blood was keeping me stabilized in a loop of happiness. I haven't been hungry since I had a taste of her blood.

Was it her blood making me obsessive with her?

I stared her body over as my mind lingered on the very thought of cutting her throat open and having a bath in her blood. I covered my mouth quickly and turned away from her as I marched out of my bedroom to put some distance between us.

Outside there was a line of vehicles in the driveway waiting for us to come out. I felt Lamia brush herself against my arm as she slipped past me and walked towards a door being held open by Meynard. He waited there for us. She paused before getting into the car and looked back at me. She motioned for me to get in with her before climbing into the car. Meynard left the door open as he got into the passenger's seat. I got into the car with them and nodded towards the driver as I shut the door.

"How far is the drive?" I asked nervously.

"They're out of territory. It'll be awhile. It's why I offered to get you some food before we leave," Lamia told me as she looked annoyed by my question. I shrugged as I leaned my head back on the headrest.

"I don't care when the next time I eat is," I grumbled under my breath.

"I brought him food," Meynard said as he handed a sack back to us. "It probably won't be to his liking but considering the last time he ate was yesterday, I'm sure it doesn't matter what I brought."

I took the sack from him and opened the take-out bowl to find a beef stew inside. It smelled amazing, my mouth watered as hunger set in. I looked towards Meynard thankfully. I didn't realize how much the smell of food would affect me. I was hungry.

"I thought you weren't hungry," Lamia said as I started to scarf down the meal. I ignored her sarcasm as I enjoyed the sweet taste of real food.