I awoke to a throbbing headache, and a chest heavy with so much confusion and fear. I can feel my heart beating so fast, just like it does whenever I wake up from a bad dream. Every heartbeat is an explosion of pain, and it took all the strength I had just to sit up. I tried to compose myself, to soothe away the weariness I feel, and as I sit on the soft mattress, my head spins, making me feel sick to my stomach. Slowly, I open my eyes, with tears blurring my vision, making the world appear as a distorted mess. Somehow, I feel so tired, like I've been running around the city instead of falling deep in sleep, and I know it's because of the dream I just had.
I have never experienced such a dream before. Every small detail, I can perfectly remember, and it sets me into a fit of tears. I feel so frightened for my life. Every fiber of my being tells me it's a sign, a bad omen, yet somehow, deep inside, I feel the loneliness. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, all I know is that I do, and right this very moment, I can feel myself yearning for something, for someone. I have never felt this way before, and the intensity of the emotion cuts me like a knife.
Scene after scene continues to play inside my head.
In my dream, I saw a tall figure. It was hardly visible, like a mere shadow hiding in the darkness. I can't seem to figure it out. I don't know what it is, or why it was there, but it stays there unmoving.
I dreamt that I went to my grandmother's old house, that I took a train to Jinhae. I remembered how the cherry blossoms showered us with its ethereal beauty, and how odd it was for me to see such a scene unfold in the beginning of summer. I remembered dreaming about sitting beside an old lady, and how I felt my chest grow heavy with every step I took towards grandmother's old house. But despite feeling that way, I still went inside and called for her.
It felt so realistic, like I can still feel the weight in my chest, and just like every dream of mine, I hear the same voice talking to me. The same voice that keeps haunting my dreams. That same chilling voice that keeps calling me, chanting my name like a mantra.
I blinked a couple of times and took deep soothing breaths. I'm so relieved that it was all a dream, otherwise I would have been mortified. Maybe these dreams are some sort of a warning, so I can steer clear of that place. I was planning on taking my summer vacation there, but now, I know that I clearly need to change my mind.
I immediately wiped away the tears that are straining my eyes. I forcibly slumped back to bed and closed my eyes shut. Almost instantly, images came rushing through.
I remembered how my grandmother welcomed me with open arms, and invited me to eat lunch at her front porch. I remembered her telling me to go rest after we did some catching up, and how I went upstairs to that same room that I favored so much.
In my dream, I fell asleep instantly. I didn't even get to clean myself and change, that's how vivid everything was.
And in that same dream, I watched myself sleeping soundly on the bed.
I can clearly hear my shallow breathing. I can feel the wind from the open window lulling me deeper into sleep. I remember how I walked towards myself, looking so fascinated at my sleeping figure. I didn't understand it at first. I was so confused by how I was able to stare at my own reflection, without so much as a mirror. It wasn't possible, but it was like my soul is wandering around, while my physical body goes into hibernation. It gave me an odd feeling, a weird sensation. It was the very first time I've experienced such a thing. I have only read such things in books, how one person gets an out-of-body experience, it felt confusing. I remember how I reached for my own hand, and how all of a sudden, a gust of wind entered the room. It woke me up immediately, and suddenly, I'm not looking at myself anymore. I know the moment that I woke up in that dream, somehow, I found my way back to my body.
The visions started unravelling. I remembered how I slowly opened my eyes and sat down, that's when I came face to face with a dark figure.
The figure was big, tall, and brooding. I know that I was dreaming. I know that it wasn't real. I know that whatever that figure in front of me is, it was all a product of my imaginative mind. Still, somehow, I feel alarmed, yet I kept on staring at it, my gaze fixated on the dark figure standing in the corner of the room.
I shudder when I remember that dream. It still gives me the chills. I reach for a pillow to hug, to somehow ease me. It didn't help one bit, which caused me to groan and bury my face on the pillow miserably.
I can still see it. I can still see that figure. I kept staring at it in my dream, and as seconds passed by, I slowly got a good look at the dark figure.
It wasn't an it.
It was a who.
It was a figure of a man.
The silhouette's outline shows me that he's tall and big. As I stared openly at him, I watched in fear as his head was slowly tilting to the side, allowing the small light from the corner of the room to illuminate some of his features. I gasped when I saw his bloodshot eyes staring back at me. There was a shadow of a smile slowly forming on his pale and bloodless lips. It was ghastly, it was frightening. I can't see his face clearly, all I can see are his sharp and brooding eyes, and how it has unable me to make a single move. All I can see are his lips, and how it slowly started to move, speaking words I can't understand. But as I sit there and listen as he repeats the word over and over again, I feel a trail of goosebumps. I screamed for my life, when I realized what he was saying.
The man was speaking my name.
He was calling me, luring me to him.
I feel my skin crawl at the memory. His deep voice echoed inside my head. He sounded so near, yet so far, like his voice is coming from six feet under, even when he's standing in front of me. It was bone-chilling. I thank the Gods that the moment I screamed, I was immediately pulled back to reality, and I finally awoke from that horrible nightmare.
Heaving a sigh, I pushed the pillow away from my face. I really should refrain from sleeping all throughout the afternoon, otherwise I'll get nightmares such as this.
Suddenly, a soft gush of wind swirls around my room, making the scent of the roses linger around the four corners of the room. The scent was so strong, that it started to sicken me. I get up from the bed to go look for the flowers, with the thought of getting rid of them once and for all.
As I stood up and fixed myself, I felt a pang of dread crawling deep inside me. I look around the dim room, with the sunset the only light that is illuminating inside, yet I can still clearly see my surroundings.
I was horror-stricken.
I see no roses on top of the bedside table. I didn't see the vanity on my left, nor the pile of stuffed animals on top of the couch beside it. All I see are wooden floors, and antique furniture.
I turned around in panic.
This can't be. I can't be here.
When I saw my suitcase placed beside the huge window near the vanity, I gasped in horror. The suitcase did not only confirm my doubts, but the sight of the same window I saw in my dreams, made my skin crawl in the most frightening way.
I wasn't in Seoul, and I most definitely am not inside my room.
I blink a couple of times, my breath caught in my throat. It took awhile for the confusion to fade, before my brutal return to reality took place.
I'm at Jinhae, in my grandmother's old house, inside the room that I used to love so much.
Question after question are swimming inside my head.
How did I get here?
Why am I here?
And…
Was it all really just a dream?
I have no idea how I got here, or why I'm even here in the first place. I pinch myself in the hopes that I will wake up from this nightmare, but I didn't wake up from a dream. All I felt is the pain caused by my action, and the dread that is slowly consuming my entire being.
"Eunji…"
"Eunji…"
Suddenly, I heard that voice again, and this time, his voice sounds like it was coming from below me.
"Come back to me Eunji."
I feel my feet moving towards the window, like my own body is responding to him. I took a step back and held myself. I don't know what's happening to me. My heart is beating so violently against my chest, and beads of sweat are forming on my temples.
"Eunji…"
"My Eunji..."
He says one more time, and it was followed by his menacing laughter. It made me step forward. I know it's a bad idea, but I have to see him. I need to know who he is. I need to find out why he's saying those words to me, like he knows me, even though I have no clue of who he is, or what he is.
All of a sudden, the door to the room bursts open, and I turn around and scream my lungs out. I was in a total state of panic. The moment I came face to face with a stranger standing in front of the door, I couldn't seem to breathe properly. It was as if my lungs were being sucked dry of air, and I was slowly seeing black. Before my vision went completely blank, I saw the blurred vision of the stranger running towards me, catching my body to prevent me from falling on the floor.
-----
"Do you feel comfortable? Are you alright?"
I put my fork down and swallow my food, before I give the old lady a reassuring smile.
"Grandma, for the thousandth time, stop worrying about me and eat." I say. "I'm absolutely fine."
"Are you sure, dear?"
"Of course." I give her another smile.
After the incident, right when the stranger caught my body in the midst of fainting, I woke up a minute later. I was welcomed by a worried frown on my grandmother's face, and how frantically she's talking to the person who so suddenly appeared in my room. She told him to get the car, so I can be sent to the hospital, but I spoke all of a sudden, catching her attention, telling her it was unnecessary. She asked me what happened, and I told her that I had just woken up from a nap, and the sound of the door being slammed against the wall caught me in a fright, and had sent me into unconsciousness. The stranger that time looks so guilty, and a little bit distressed. It was written all over his face, yet despite all that, I can see how striking his features are, and how his cat-like eyes made me stare at him longer than I should. I felt something tugging at my chest when he caught my eye. I can't really put a finger in it, it just felt odd. He stared at me for a couple more seconds, before he said his sorry and went on his way.
Grandma told me that he's the son of her new gardener. She told me that she asked the man to wake me up, so we can go to the city to dine at her favorite restaurant. She didn't think that this incident would happen, and she was so worried for me, that she decided for us to stay in the house.
I didn't tell her everything. Grandma might not be weak, and despite her looking young for her age, she's still undeniably old. I can't tell her things that may cause her a heart attack. Besides the point, I don't plan on telling anyone anything. Truth of the matter is, I don't even know if that encounter really happened, whether it was a dream or not. My mind seems to be in a bewildered state. What I thought was a dream turned out to be reality, and even though I wasn't sure yet, that man lurking in the shadows might just be a part of a dream. I might just be tired from the three-hour ride.
"By the way, did you like the gift I sent you for your graduation?" My grandmother asked, ridding me from my thoughts.
I smiled at her and nod. "Yes. I loved it grandma, it was beautiful."
She sent me a necklace accentuated with rubies and diamonds. It was an heirloom, and just by looking at it, I can tell that it must have cost a fortune. She sent it to me before graduation. Grandma specifically instructed me to wear it on my graduation day, so I can feel like she's there, even though she wasn't. Her doctor advised her not to take long trips, because it's bad for her health, even though she badly wanted to see me get my diploma. It was a shame she didn't, but wearing the necklace gave me a sense of comfort.
"And thank you for the flowers."
I watch as she knits her brows together, telling me she hasn't got any clue as to what I'm saying.
"The roses." I say. "They are so pretty, that I decided to keep them in my room."
"Roses? Whatever are you talking about, child?"
"The roses you sent me when I got home after my graduation. They're from your garden, right?" I remind her.
"Oh no, that's impossible dear." She gives me a look, and I slowly feel panic arise within me.
"The roses didn't grow back." She said with a concerned look. "That day you left, five years ago, I don't know how it happened, but the roses started to wither. I didn't see a single flower bloom ever since, it was heartbreaking."
I stare at her in shock. I didn't know how to respond. I was so sure that she was the one who sent me the roses. The delivery guy told me it was from Jinhae, even though there weren't any cards, not even a note. I knew it was from her garden, I'm sure of that. I may not remember much about this place, but the roses are so familiar to me, and the scent isn't like any other. So, who sent it? And where did that person get such identical roses?
"D-did you-" I gulp. "Did you get rid of them?"
I haven't really seen her garden ever since I've arrived, and even though I was planning to, all my plans on wandering around that place were replaced by fear.
Fear of stepping back to that wooden arch, and finding out how true my grandmother's words are.
"No." She shook her head. "I didn't have the heart to do it. It was your grandfather who planted those roses."
"Oh."
It was all I can say. I feel breathless from the revelation, and as I watch her smiling tenderly at me, fear fills me once again.
"Perhaps it was sent by an admirer." She shrugged as she continued to eat her meal. "You know your mother told me you've got a boyfriend back in Seoul. That tan kid who lives four blocks away from your house?"
"Perhaps it was." I replied almost automatically.
I tried to smile. I know it wasn't from him. I'm sure of it. So, who gave me the flowers? Despite what my grandma said about the roses, how come I can still smell its scent back in that room?
I needed to know.
I have to find out.