* start of past events/flashback
** end of past events/flashback
*
"Hey mister, what are you doing on the ground?"
I tilt my head to the side, as I stare at the sleeping man lying on the freshly mowed grass.
"Mister?"
I called out to him again, but he was unresponsive and rigid. I can see the way his chest moves up and down gradually, just like how grandma's chest does whenever she falls asleep after reading me a bedtime story. Whenever that happens, I always watch her sleeping figure. It fascinates me how calm one looks whenever they fall into slumber, so I figured it was okay if I watch him too.
My gaze is fixated on the sleeping man's face. I keep staring at him for a few minutes, and it intrigues me how pale his skin looks. His complexion reminds me of the snow that falls every winter.
He looks mesmerizing.
Slowly, I reach for his face, curious if his skin is as cold as the white blanket that covers the foot of the earth every winter. But before my tiny hands can reach his pale cheeks, his eyes suddenly burst open, showing me a pair of orbs that are as dark as the red night.
"P-pretty eyes." I stuttered.
I was in awe. I have never seen such beautiful eyes before, and a child such as myself, seeing how it seems that there's fire glowing inside of them, I got more curious.
The stranger is staring at me. He too, it seems to me, was in utter astonishment. I witness how the flame slowly dies, his eyes turning a dull shade of grey. It was beautiful. Just the mere sight of his eyes was hypnotizing.
"You got pretty eyes, mister."
I giggle, and he gets up and sits down gently on the grass, his sinewy back pressed against the wooden arch. The stranger looks tall and big, much like my father, and I am looking up at his big stature, feeling so giddy and happy for no apparent reason. His eyes make me feel like I could stare at them forever, and when I said those words to him, I saw how they shine. It was like dusts of little diamonds have accentuated his features, it was breathtaking. He, to me, is undoubtedly pleased by the compliment.
"Why were you sleeping on the grass? Don't you have a bed to sleep onto?"
But the man only stared at my face, not planning to answer any of my questions. His mind only consists of "How can this little girl see me?" "Why is she so close to me?" and, "Does she not know what's good for her?".
Of course, I have no clue what's running inside his head. I was too innocent, too gullible to understand that what lies in front of me is no ordinary man. All I'm interested to know is why I found him sleeping on the grass instead of a bed. It didn't occur to me why he was there in the middle of the garden, or the fact that he's a total stranger. I am, just like every child, curious.
Slowly, the man tilts his head to the side, studying my features, and I tilt my head back in a playful manner, mimicking his gesture. I can see one side of his lips moving, showing me a shadow of a smile on his face. I let out a soft giggle, delighted by the man in front of me. I was about to say my name and introduce myself, happy that I have found a friend, but then grandma suddenly calls my name, and before I knew it, there she stands in front of me. She grabs my hand and takes me with her, away from the big man sitting under the wooden arch. I let her take me, but my eyes never left the man, and when he smiled at me for the very first time, I felt the wind playing with my hair, and how the smell of roses filled my senses. Without any hesitation, I smiled back at him. I knew I had found myself a friend.
"Who were you talking to Eunji?" Grandma asked, a frantic look painted on her face.
I didn't hear the panic in her voice, nor did I see the fear in her eyes. A child such as myself could not possibly understand the terror that shook her.
"I saw big man, grandma."
My grandmother's eyes grew big, and she immediately looked at the same direction I was before.
"He got pretty eyes."
Yet grandma saw no one, and before we started walking inside the house, she kneeled down in front of me, and looked at me with a worried frown on her face.
"Eunji, you need to promise me that you will never go to that part of the garden again."
"Why?" I ask curiously. "Ohhh. You want me to do the same? Just like in the train with strangers?"
Before we arrived here, while we were at the train, grandma warned me to never talk to strangers, and being the good little girl that I am, was too eager to follow through.
"Yes Eunji." Grandma looked at me concerned. "Now promise me dear,"
She licked her lips nervously, and I stared at her with wonder. It was odd, I never saw grandma doing that gesture. I only see people do that on TV whenever something awry comes to play. Grandma loves watching K-dramas, I take a peep of the shows she watches whenever she thinks I'm in my room sleeping, and I always opt to do it when she's sitting on the couch, sleeping soundly.
"Promise me you will never go to that place again."
She pointed at the wooden arch, and I followed her with my eyes.
He was gone, and I don't know why, but I kinda feel a little sad. Yet despite feeling this way, I nodded my head and promised to do as I was told. I may be a child, but I understood when things should be dealt with utter seriousness, my father did a good job teaching me that.
"Okay grandma, I promise."
**
That memory still haunts me to this day. I still remember it clearly. I remember the fear in my grandmother's voice, I remember her warnings, but I never did remember the big man in the garden, nor our conversation. It was only till now that I do, and as I stand here inside my room, I walk my way to the window, my gaze falling upon the wooden arch.
How was it that my memory fails me at such a young age? I can read a book and I'd still remember every detail after not reading it for a long time, but this man, I can't seem to remember. I don't exactly know what he looks like, my memory is still a bit hazy, but I know he was real. I can feel it through every fiber of my being.
He is real.
I lean against the window and focus my eyes at the object of my thoughts. The night is young, and the only light that is illuminating the place is the silver moonlight, yet I can't see much. I want to know if what my grandma said about the roses are true. I've wanted to know ever since she told me, but I was too scared to find out. Maybe this time I can try to see for myself, but my eyes, even though they're as sharp as they can be, cannot see clearly in the dark. If it was there or not, I can't tell, so I grabbed a silk robe and headed for the door.
I know those roses are the answer to my questions. Existent or not, I know there's something about that spot that can clear this mess inside my head.
It didn't take me long to get outside the house. I guess I was too excited to find out, but when the arch came to view, my heart started to beat erratically.
"This is it. It's now or never."
Slowly, I walk my way towards it, and wave after wave of nostalgia rush all throughout my entire being. It feels like an eruption of pictures and memories are being thrown at me all at once.
*
"You look sad mister, why the long face?"
The big man beside me gave me a bitter smile. Here I am sitting down on the bed with him, while I stare at his pale face. His skin looks so lifeless and cold, but I dare not touch it. I tried touching him a couple of times before, but I've known well enough that he will disappear again if I ever attempt to do such a feat. He's like that all the time. One minute he's here, and the next, he just vanishes into thin air. It makes me sad whenever he just leaves without saying goodbye.
I know this man beside me, the same man I talk to all the time, he's not normal, our friendship isn't normal, in fact, it may only be a one-sided relationship. I never asked why he always appears in this room, and why of all people am I the only one who can see and feel his presence. His visits started when I was five years old, and it became frequent as I grew older. Every summer I go to grandma's house, and every summer I always stay in this room, with him.
Why, you ask? I have no idea either. It just feels…right.
"It's only going to be a couple of years." I reason with him, yet even I can't convince myself. The loneliness I felt, somehow, it mirrors his. "Besides, I've never been to another country before, it'll be fun."
My parents wanted me to study abroad, particularly in America, and I've mixed emotions about it. I want to go, but going means I'm not gonna see him again, and it breaks my heart, because seeing him is what keeps me going. He is the only friend I have, even though he doesn't seem to look at me the same way. I know this for a fact, because whenever I tell him that we're friends, he turns sour. Maybe I am just nothing to him, but I highly doubt that. Why would he come and visit me in this room all the time then, if not for our friendship?
I witnessed his face slowly grow dark, and I feel this heavy feeling in my chest. His soft expression started to harden, and I just might be seeing things, but there is a spark of fire burning inside his eyes.
"You can't go, or you'll forget me." He answered in a brooding manner. The intensity of his look almost made me want to avoid his gaze, but the pull was stronger. I couldn't take my eyes off him.
"Forget you?" I managed to mutter in a breathless tone.
He smirks and stares at me with his fiery red eyes, the fire already burning the once grey orbs that had captivated me. I feel my knees tremble, fear slowly creeping inside me. He was not the same man. What lies before me is but a stranger, a predator. This is the first time I've ever felt like this way towards him. I was always so lightheaded whenever I'm with him, like I was in another world, our own little world, but now, he seems a bit...off. There's something about that smile that made my skin crawl. It feels like he's planning on something, something I cannot seem to fathom.
"I need a pure and innocent soul to take with me." He says as his smile widens, his eyes never leaving mine. "And so far, you're the only one who made the cut."
I swallow hard at his words.
Maybe it was too late to reflect on this, but maybe I was a little too quick to asses that talking to a complete stranger like him, without knowing him first is sort of a dumb move. In all the years that I've talked to him, those times when my grandmother would join me in this room, with him beside me, the former completely unaware of his presence, I never did question his intentions. All I know is that I've found myself a friend, an imaginary friend, if you could call him that.
Yes, imaginary seems appropriate, since no one seems to be aware of him, and I'm the only one who can see and talk to him. I figured he is just a figment of my imagination.
Or is he really?
"If you leave, then who will I take with me?"
"I-I don't even know your name." I stutter. "Why do you think I will come with you?"
Yes, I don't have any clue what his name is. Not because I didn't ask, but because he doesn't want me to know.
"What's your name?" I ask for what feels like the thousandth time. "Who are you really, mister? Why am I the only one who can see you?"
I attack him with question after question, while he looks at me with that creepy smile that never seems to leave his face.
"Well…"
He hovers over me, his pale face only an inch away from mine. In my thirteen years of living, I have never felt my heart beat so fast, and so wild against my chest. It's the very first time it acted this way, and I was speechless.
"If I tell you, you need to promise me one thing."
**
My mind was hazy after that. Maybe it's because I'm over here standing right in front of the wooden arch, that those memories started to get to me. Maybe standing here in the exact place where our very first encounter happened has helped with reviving my memory. I knew right from the start that something was off, and I know that it was because of that man. I have yet to know his name and his face. I don't remember what he looks like, but in time I will find out. I wish he would just appear right in front of me, so I can have a piece of mind once and for all.
Wearily, I reach for the wood that has grown weak with time. Grandma was right, there were no roses left. The same arch that used to stand so proudly in the middle of her garden, now looks like a big messy pile of wood. The edges were uneven and cracked, and the color and texture of it looks like someone has tried to burn it down. It seems to me, that time hasn't been kind to it. I heave a heavy sigh and looked at the arch once more.
What is it about this place that attracted me so much? I've been to the other parts of the garden, and this is nothing compared to their beauty, so why was I so drawn to this?
I slowly slide my right hand down on the wooden arch, my eyes filled with longing and wonder. I yearn for the memories to come back. I wanted to know why I'm always feeling so down, when the only thing I should be feeling is fear.
All of a sudden, my fingers got pricked by something small and sharp. I saw blood slowly oozing from my index finger. Shocked, I watched as a drop of blood fell on the same spot where I got pricked. I felt a small pang of pain, but I ignored it as I tried to look at the object that had bruised me. It was a thorn, it looks dry, like it has been under the sun for far too long.
"Eunji..."
Unexpectedly, I hear a voice whispering my name. I felt something cold against my nape, and I turned around in panic. I look around only to find nothing. I grip the sides of the robe and wrap it tightly around my body. I suddenly felt so cold, so I stepped on my heel and headed towards the door. When I'm about to enter the house, I hear it again, and I just know that it was him.
All the courage that I had, it all went down the drain. His voice sounds so deep and so lifeless. I couldn't help but gasp when I felt chills run down my spine. It didn't help that I could feel something slowly creeping beside me, and when I heard his menacing laughter, I ran for my life, my steps not faltering. It was as if he was so close to me. I felt something cold touching my left cheek.
I entered the same room I used on the second floor of the old house, and I immediately felt relief wash over me. I take the silk robe off and carelessly put it on the floor as I walk towards the bed. This room, for me, is my safe haven, even though one would doubt that, but I do feel that way towards it.
I lay my weary body on the bed, and heave a sigh of relief. Maybe it can't follow me here. The thought alone made me feel relieved, but my head started to hurt when flashbacks started to play inside my head.
*
"You have to remain pure and chaste, you can't let anybody touch you."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Just promise me Eunji."
He says firmly as his eyes turn a shade paler, giving him a soft look on his face. The embers that once burned inside his eyes are now completely gone, and once again, I was awestruck. He can tell me to do anything he wants, and I will do it in earnest. That's how mesmerizing his eyes are.
"I promise."
The man gave me a genuine smile, something I've grown so fond of. It was hard for me to receive such a smile from him, and I just fell for it.
"On the night you turn 18, come back to me, Eunji." He continues to say while his gaze is fixated on me.
"Just say my name, and we'll seal the deal."
**
I have no idea what the deal was, or if he even gave me his name. It was painful just thinking about it, but as I close my eyes to sleep, it suddenly hits me.
He did tell me his name. I remember now. I remember it so clearly, like a song you've always known, or a melody close to your heart.
I blink my eyes a couple of times, and take in deep breaths.
"S-Sehun…"
My voice came out as a whisper. I didn't want to say his name, I didn't intend to, but my lips seem like it has a mind of its own, and before I realized what I did, I heard a distinct voice whispering against my ears.
"You call for me, sweetheart?"
I gasp.
I felt him.
I felt his lips touching the side of my ears.
I know I'm not alone, but when I looked around, I saw no one.
"W-who are you?"
I asked bravely, and I heard him chuckling, and he sounds so, so close to me.
"Oh, you know who I am, sweetheart."
Right that moment, before I could even muster the strength to reply, I feel something heavy being pinned against my body. I tried to get up from the bed, but I can't seem to move a single muscle.
"You violated each and every single rule."
I heard him groaning against my ear. Just the mere thought that some invisible entity is pinning me down against the bed, without me being able to do anything, had made me tremble in utmost fear.
"You broke your fucking promise Eunji!"
I can hear the anger in his voice, and how what feels like his hand is slowly getting wrapped around the side of my neck. It felt so tight, that it was getting hard for me to breathe. I can feel the tremor that it sent me, and right now, I feel so confused and frightened for my life.
"Please…"
I beg him. It wasn't because I couldn't breathe properly, but because of something else.
But for what?
I don't exactly know. I know I did something wrong. I know I wasn't supposed to say his name, but I can't think of any other reason.
"You know what's coming for you Eunji."
He groaned loudly as he removed his large hand from my neck. I gasp, my lungs greedy for air. It suddenly seems like my world is spinning. I closed my eyes shut to get a grip of myself, but the moment I opened my eyes, I was horrified. I witness how each button of my shirt is slowly getting removed. I know I'm not seeing things, and although it looks like the buttons are being removed by themselves, I know some invisible force is doing the act, and I find it frightening how I can't see the entity responsible for it.
I started to panic, because no matter how much I wanted to scream, I couldn't find my voice. I can't seem to form even a single word, and as I lay there on the bed, praying for dear life, his figure slowly starts to appear right before my very eyes.
.