Ate Juris was right, #FindingCece quickly died, like it never even happened. I had my five minutes of fame and now everybody seemed to have forgotten me again. I was never completely invisible tho, I was one of the known nerds. However, in my high school, nerds are not cool.
Teacher Kim and I have had plenty of time together because of our competition prep reviews every Monday. I became less uncomfortable or weird in his presence. We started talking often after class and sometimes, we would walk together in the hallways.
His rabid fans weren't happy of course, they kept on giving me stabbing stares. If only they knew the things Teacher Kim and I have been doing in the past couple of weeks, they would definitely stab me to death.
My sex god and I have become more experimental too; a few days after the Founder's Day Weekend night, we had sex at the Pleasure Dungeon again. He was more brutal; he used several sex toys too, including a vaginal clamp, floggers, and several types of cuffs and other restraining accessories. Since then, we had sex almost everyday, weekends lang ang pahinga.
It turned out, despite the brutishness of our daily sexual encounters, instead of looking and feeling exhausted afterwards, I was actually rejuvinated. I realised, I liked the pain that Teacher Kim was giving me; I even considered, I might be a masochist.
Tatlong sabado na rin kaming lumalabas ni Teacher Kim on a 'date'. Siyempre, hindi alam nila kuya na siya ang kasama ko, I've made very compelling alibis. But since that time that Dad caught us having the 'date' conversation, which of course we responded with a lie, Dad encouraged me to try it, responsibly, of course. He insisted na 'wag ko daw i-deprive ang sarili ko to have these kinds of teenage experiences. I felt awful and guilty, of coures, when he was so sincere giving me that advice, since I have just been fucked brutally all night.
"Yea, I know, I haven't seen him too for sometime now. Last week nga, I went wednesday, thursday, friday and sat, he was a no show. Weird," said the girl on the opposite side of my locker block.
"Maybe he goes to a different club now?" tanong ng isa pang babae.
"I don't think so. I heard he's friends with the owners of Fort Club kaya lagi na siyang andun since it opened. Besides, he was also an attraction point, madami ngang new faces pumupunta because of him, which of course, we don't like. But still, it's the hottest club in town," sagot naman ng ikatlong babae.
The conversation I was overhearing piqued my curiosity. I was changing into my sportswear for the P.E class at alam ko ako na lang naiwan from my class. I assumed the conversation was by twelve graders.
"Do you think he's dating someone na? I mean he goes to Fort Club para lumandi, and madalas he leaves with a girl too. Maybe he met some girl that keeps him busy now."
"First, I hate that girl. But second, I don't think so. Because third, I'm the girl Teacher Kim will be dating, and you know, I know how to keep him busy."
"You, slut!"
"Thanks for the compliment!"
Tumawa silang tatlo ng malalandi. Tumililing naman ang tenga ko sa narinig ko, I had my suspicions, and I was right, si Teacher Kim nga ang pinaguusapan nila. Siya naman ang madalas topic sa girls locker then si coach Tag at si Blue, and then some more heartthrob boys in school.
"Cece! Hey there," bati sa'kin ni coach Tag na kasalubong kong lumabas ng locker.
I forced a smile. "Coach."
"You're in great form, Cece. Have you been working out?"
I was wearing black sports leggings at fitted din and zip pullover ko kaya may porma ang katawan ko. Kinilabutan naman ako sa tanong niya at sa may pagkabastos niyang tingin sa katawan ko.
"Uhm, no sir. Just, P.E class," I answered. I argued inside my head if I should walk faster to get away from him or just walk along side him since, well, he's my teacher.
"Then I must be doing something great to make you look like that," komento niya; without showing my face, nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya and the way he said it.
Nagpatuloy pa siya. "You know, something's different about you. You're glowing."
I was leaning to not just walk faster but run away from him, but I thought not. "Uhm, thanks po, I guess."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you now have a boyfriend."
Bigla akong napalingon sa kaniya. "Wha-w-why, would you, think that? I don't have a boyfriend po, sir." Yumuko ako at umiwas na lang sa tingin niya.
"Like I said, you're glowing. I can always tell when a girl just had her first--" napalingon ulit ako sa kaniya, "love. Oh, believe me, I've witnessed hundreds of first loves here in high school. The best of first loves happen in high school, right?"
Ngumiti siya na parang may double meaning, his eyes were suggestive, I started to feel anxious.
"Hindi ko po alam. Not for me siguro."
"You know, you get a lot of firsts in high school, Cece. But it's the second ones that make all the experience better, second ones do it better. So keep your options open, don't just settle. You're young, and a girl like you? - you have all the choices in the world."
I was bothered with that unsolicited advice, and he sounded way too suggestive for me. I thought, a teacher should not talk this way, but then, who was I kidding? I've let a teacher took away my virginity.
I swallowed air and released it in a chuckle. "I honestly don't get what you mean coach, pero, well, I better run to my classmates na po. Para a little warm up run na rin."
Tumigil ako sa pagtakbo at naghabol ng hininga nang makarating ako sa conjunctive gate ng school to the track and field. Not only was I genetically deficient of sports genes, I also have an innate aversion to exercises. To think that my parents were sports royalties ng school, I've considered on many moments that I might be adopted. But then, the year book photos and just as everybody said, I look like the exact reincarnation of my mother when she was my age, then with the brains of my father. Some even joked, it's likely to be my four brothers who may have been adopted.
A sudden rush of cold air flowed through my skin when someone grabbed me to a small corridor near the gate, I squealed and it echoed.
I instantly recognized the scent; he shooshed me. "Quiet, it's me."
May kaunting lakas ko siyang hinampas sa dibdib. "Would you stop doing that! Creeping up behind me like that. I'm too young to die of a heart attack!"
"Sorry," he cupped my face, "I couldn't help it. You're too adorable when you get scared."
I shook my head with a forced half smile, making an expression. "What are you doing here? May P.E class pa ako, and coach Tag isn't far behind."
"I did a run earlier. When I saw your class came in, I waited for you here, hoping to catch you," he said, almost whispering, his voice was low and airy.
Bukod sa boses niya, may hatid na libog din sa akin ang pawisang katawan ni Teacher Kim, and I just wanted to bury myself in his scent. Dahil sa pawis, bakat ang muscles at abs niya sa t-shirt niya, bakat din ang umbok ng ari niya sa suot niyang sweatpants.
I wasn't sure, pero hindi malayong umabot din sa ekspresyon ng mukha ko ang kilig ko kay Teacher Kim. Lately, I noticed na may kakaibang kilig na akong nararamdaman sa kaniya, lalo na kapag he make the extra efforts to pull me or grab me into a hidden corner para lang halikan ako, and then he'll walk-out and leave me hanging.
"I was late. So kanina ka pa dito?"
His forehead crease tightened. "Err, yes. Wait, were you late with coach Tag?"
"Hmmm, why asks?"
"Don't be so cute, Cece. I'd eat you right now."
Napayuko, kamot sa batok at napakagat labi na lang ako sa hiya, kilig at libog. "Nope, nagkasabay lang kaming lumabas ng lockers.
"What? Why?"
Napakunot noo ako sa reaksyon niya, I thought the question didn't make sense. "Why what? Nagkasabay lang, what's more to say about that?"
His jaw tightened, sumungit din ang mga mata niya. "I don't like you talking to him. Unless its class, don't talk to him."
"Boss much?" I rolled my eyes. "Hmmmm. Hate the competition?" I teased coyly.
Disgust masked his face. "Huh! He won't be a competition," his face darkened. "You're mine, Cece."
Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya at pagkakasabi niya, bumilog ang mga mata ko. But then humor reversed my expression. "I didn't mean me. I meant your competition as the school heartthrob."
He sniggered. "Bollocks! I don't give a rats arse about that. That knobhead could wear a crown and a sash for all I care."
Natawa na lang ako ng bahagya, napahawak ako sa abs niya at nilukot ko ng isang kamao ang bandang laylayan ng damit niya, matapos ay inilapit ko ang ilong ko para singhutin siya. Masarap ang bango ng pawis niya, napapikit na lang ako.
His thumb stroked my chin and the side of my lips, then he lifted my face and he just gazed at me. Sinubukan kong tapatan ang mga tingin niya, pero hindi ko mapigilang madistract sa iba pang parte ng mukha niya. Ang gwapo niya lang talaga. Mangilang pagkakataon na rin ako napapaisip at hindi makapaniwala na akin na siya, ang matagal kong pinagnanasaan na si Teacher Kim ay natikman ko na.
Lumapit ang mukha niya at dumampi ang labi niya sa akin. Lately, his kisses were less fierce and more romantic, parang mga halik sa pelikula.
"I gotta go. Coach Tag will be here soon," I mumbled.
"He can't see us here."
"Fine. But someone else might. Why, ano ba balak mong gawin?" tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.
I gasped when he slid his massive hand inside my leggings. "Uhm, this?" he teased.
Napakapit ang dalawa kong kamay sa braso niya nang pinasok niya ang isang daliri niya sa butas ko. "Stop. We can't, not here."
"You are so fuckin' tight, Cece."
"I'm sore," I snapped at him. "Just, stop it, take your hands off na."
We just stared at each other habang naglabas-pasok ang daliri niya sa butas ko. Malagkit ang mga tingin niya, bahagyang nakabukas ang bibig niya. May pangamba akong nararamdaman pero hindi ko rin maitanggi ang sarap na nararanasan.
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"
"Oo na," tinarayan ko siya while trying to push his hand off of me. "Tama na. Stop na kasi, someone might see us."
"Oh no! What do I do? I can't stop. You're so tight my hand is stuck," he teased coyly.
I gasped harder when two of his jumbo fingers slid inside me, naramdaman ko ang malapunit na sakit; napakapit na lang ako sa dibdib niya. Isinandal niya ako sa dingding at humalik siya ng mapusok sa akin, habang walang habas na lumaro ang kamay at daliri niya sa aking hiwa.
Napatigil siya nang may nag-echo na boses sa corridor, nagsitayuan naman ang mga baby hairs ko sa batok. "Shit! Someone's here. They'll see us!" pabulong kong bulalas.
"I don't think so."
His fingers continued playing inside me. Mabuti at walang nakakita sa amin, galing sa labas ng corridor yung boses na naguusap. Iniipit ko sa tenga ko ang ilang buhok ko na bumagsak dahil lumuwag ang ponytail ko sa kapusukan ng mga halik ni Teacher Kim.
"Tama na, pull it out na nga kasi."
"I can't"
"Why not?"
"It feels so good inside you," he teased again, coyly, wistful.
Napalakas na ang hampas ko sa braso niya kaya't napabiglang bunot siya ng daliri niya sa butas ko. Hindi pa rin niya agad tinggal ang kamay niyang humihimas sa hiwa ko, until a loud bang echoed in the corridor.
"Ayan! Someone's gonna see us na, I gotta go."
He grabbed my waist to prevent me from fleeing. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You're not gonna get away from me that easy."
"Ano ba, someone's gonna see us nga," pinanglakihan ko na siya ng mata.
He remained unbothered; his grip on my waist tightened, he tried to lift me up a bit, his other hand cupped my face, then he gave me a gripping kiss. Madiin ang pagkakadikit ng katawan ko sa kaniya, naipit ang dalawang braso ko sa dibdib niya; sa tamis at lagkit ng halik niya, napalukot na lang ako sa damit niya at napaungol ng mahina.
He stopped. "I'll fuck you again later. See you at the dungeon."
"K. Whatever."
Agad akong kumawala sa kaniya at hindi na siya nagpumigil pa; I walked out, I didn't look back. Then I stopped at a corner, I took a deep breath, fixed my ponytail, straightened by shirt, checked my crotch if there was any sign of 'intrusion', or, camel toe na din, then I went ahead to the track and field. Napailing na lang ako for how casual he just said 'I'll fuck you later', as if it was a strict order or a command that I was obliged to abide.
Dumiretso ako kay Mecky at sinabayan siya sa pagstretching. "Mecks, hindi pa ba dumating si coach Tag? Halos kasunod ko lang siya ah."
"Nope. Super late na nga eh."
Sinubukan kong dedmahin ang pagtataka ko, pero hindi ko maiwasang maisip na baka nakita niya kami ni Teacher Kim.
"Baby girl, here oh. Wear this."
Lumapit si ate Juris na nakasuot ng pagkaikli-ikling shorts. In fairness naman sa kaniya, mas mukha siyang hot ang sexy instead of malaswa; magaling talaga siya magdala ng damit.
"Gloves? For what ate?" Tinanggap ko ang iniabaot niyang pink sports gloves. Sopistikadang inihawi naman niya ang kaniyang buhok sa likod gamit ang dalawang daliri.
"It's for your protection. We're running today. So para kung madapa ka man, your hands won't get scratched. Good thing you wore long sleeves and leggings."
I gave her a half smile and a half humored laugh. "O-okey. Uhmm, thanks?"
"No worries. You need it."
I know she meant good, hindi pa naman ako nadadapa sa running namin tuwing P.E, pero dama kong dama rin ng lahat na pasasaan pa't lagi naman may kung anong aksidenteng nangyayari sa kin sa kahit anong sports.
"Ewan ko, Cece, ha. Pero parang ang weird din talaga ni Juris."
Napalingon ako kay Mecky sa sinabi niya habang parehas sinundan ng mga mata namin ang pagbalik ni ate Juris sa group of friends niya.
"I mean, I know, she's your friend. She's always been so good to you. But that's the thing, she's always been so good to you. No one could be that nice. You're not even in her circle," patuloy pa ni Mecky.
"Eh, ayoko naman sumali sa grupo niya no. And she's nice with everyone naman eh. Princess Di nga diba. We like ate Juris."
Mecky started jogging in place. "I don't not like her. But, she's just, she's ok. Weird lang minsan, parang too good to be true rin yung pagiging nice niya, 'tas para siyang fake barbie, just with bigger boobs."
Nanlaki naman mata ko sa observation ni Mecky, para bang naiimpluwensyahan na siya ni Balong. "She's not fake. Medyo, I think, she's just a pleaser. There's nothing wrong with that, kung nice naman siya diba at hindi pa-mean girls. She does look like a barbie tho. Pero, feel ko naman sincere siya e."
"Ok. Sabagay, yun naman ang importante."
Dumating din si coach Tag na pawisan, na siyang ikinatuwa naman ng mga beki sa likod namin ni Mecky. Ewan ko ba, pero gustong-gusto ng mga fans ni coach Tag na pawisan siya. Once, a girl commented na kahit na sweaty si coach Tag, parang ang fresh at ang bango pa rin daw niya; one time pa, I overheard the bekis na masarap daw siguro ingungud ang buong mukha nila sa pawisang itlog ni coach Tag.
"Sweat much, sir?" puna ng isa kong kaklase.
"I did a little running. Warm up."
"Gusto mo punasan kita, sir."
Nagtawan ang ilan, may ilan namang sumipol. 'Yung iba naman umarteng nahiya o nandiri.
"I bet you'd like that, Castro," medyo sungit ni coach Tag.
"You'd like it too, sir."
Sunod-sunod na 'omg' ang umingay sa klase. "Ok, that's enough! Anyways, asan ang tally sheet?"
Unusually distant si coach Tag sa akin this time, which was to my benefit so that I could focus on my littlest ability to not die in P.E class. Tila ba naging bad omen naman ang gloves na binigay sa'kin ni ate Juris, I had this constant feeling that I would trip and fall during my run. Makailang beses nga rin na halos madapa na ako but thankfully it didn't happen.
Nagpahinga muna ako sa damuhan ng field pagkatapos ng P.E class. Hindi rin ako inantay ni Mecky para sana sabay na kami pumunta sa shower; ewan ko ba, parang atat siya palagi umuwi tuwing Friday.
Ako na lang ulit magisa nang makarating ako sa locker room; it gave me a certain comfort na tahimik ang paligid at walang mga babaeng nagtsitsimisan, uncomfortable kasi lalo na kung si Teacher Kim ang topic nila.
I changed into my robe at tumungo na sa shower area. I stopped at the hallway and stared at the floor where I fell on top of Teacher Kim. I smiled at the recollection.
Binali naman agad ang atensyon ko sa echo ng mga babaeng nagtawanan. I decided to head to the shower area to see who might still be there, at laking gulat ko nang makasalubong ko si Yoona at Mitty. They both looked flushed when they saw me, but I didn't wonder why; I was just as shocked as them when they came out of the men's shower.
"Yoona," mahinang sambit ko.
"Hi, you.. Cece, right?" alangang tugon niya.
Tumango ako. I was utterly suspicious and bewildered.
"What are you still doing here?" sabat naman ni Mitty who's expression changed from shocked to annoyed.
Natameme ako. Gusto ko na sanang dedmahin na lang ang mga kaganapan but something caught my attention.
"Err, Yoona, you have something sticky on your lashes."
Yoona scratched it with her finger, her face looked guilty. "Ahh, must be my mascara."
I narrowed my eyes to examine them further. "I don't think so, it's the same with Mitty's hairline, shampoo ba yang nasa noo mo Mitty?"
Agad din pinunasan ni Mitty yung nasa hairline niya bandang noo. "Ugh! Yoona, let's go na nga!"
Mitty strut passed me and Yoona followed her looking guilty and apologetic. Sinundan ko sila ng tingin hanggang sa makalabas na sila ng locker room. Bahagya naman akong sumilip sa pasukan ng men's shower but I could only see the tiled wide wall. I opted not to check further inside, baka kung anong mas malalang creepyness pa ang makita ko.
I realised hindi ko rin pala nabitbit ang shampoo ko kaya bumalik ako saglit sa locker room to get my shampoo bottle from my bag. Paglabas ko muli sa hallway, dobleng gulat ko naman sa nakasalubong kong lumabas ng men's shower.
"Cece," sambit ni Teacher Kim who looked just as flushed as the first two girls coming out of the men's shower.
I was speechless. Para akong nadikit na sa kinatatayuan ko. "Teacher Kim."
He lowered his head, he looked just as guilty as Yoona. "So, uhm, you just got back from your P.E class?" he asked.
I realised he was unaware that I also saw Yoona and Mitty earlier. But I remained speechless, confused, perplexed. I was swaying my hands and my thumb pointing at somewhere but I couldn't say a word.
Kumunot ang noo niya, he started to look wary. "You ok?"
Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko, parang nawala ang mga kulay sa paligid ko. "Ah, w-w-why?" I muttered, exasperated, pained.
"Huh? Why what?"
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Yoona and Mitty," I said firmly and dark, then I swallowed dry.
Tila ba bigla akong namanhid, but my confusion abruptly stopped, and I just stared at him straight into his eyes. His waried expression turned into something I couldn't figure out, but his color turned pale, like all the blood in his face was gone.
"Cece, no."