Nothingness surrounded Sam as he floated along. He felt nothing anymore. It was a quiet bliss. He had done his job and hoped his soldiers had survived to return to their families. He thought quietly of his brother and the soft and comfortable bed that he would never be able to lie in. As darkness wrapped him in it's sweet embrace, the thought of home kept him from losing focus.
As he floated, he saw glimpses of his life pass him. When his father had taught him to ride a bike. His mother sewing a hole in his jeans after he skid his knee for the first time. His first kiss. Moments of his life surrounded him like a blanket, adding light to the darkened world around him until finally, it was no longer dark.
His eyes felt swollen as they moved around inside their lids. 'I didn't die?' he thought, since his lips were to parched to make a sound. He could hear the beeping of a heart rate monitor next to him and tried to reach his arm out to feel something, yet it wouldn't move.
Fear gripped at Sam's mind as he couldn't see anything and couldn't feel is legs or arms. He didn't want to be brought back to the states as some sort of cadaver with only a pulse to prove he was alive. He could hear his pulse raising, alerting the staff around him that he was awake.
"We've got an alert one over here!" Someone screamed as if he had seen a ghost. "John Doe number Five-One-One is awake!" He said in amazement.
A Q-tip with a wet solution was dragged along his closed eyes, trying to add enough moisture for him to open his tired eyes. Someone was at his side, raising the bed slightly to allow him into a half lay half sitting position and placed a cup in front of his mouth. A young voice coaxed him to take some of the water inside, but insisted he not drink it, but instead rinse his mouth with it.
"Sir, do you know where you are?" A doctor with a clipboard asked.
"Do you really think this is the right time for that, doctor?" The girl cut him off. Sam tried to open his eyes, yet he could only make out a blurry outline of a girl. As she moved closer, he could just pick out a scent of lavender as she leaned over him. The closer she got, the more in focus she became. "Don't worry." She said in a gentle voice. "There will be time for all of this later, just rest for now." She soothed as she put a hand through his hair.
"He will be more responsive when he wakes up." He heard her say in a quiet voice.
"You shouldn't overstep." The doctor said impatiently. "You are an intern here-" Before Sam could hear anything more, the sounds blended together into a jumble of incoherent sounds as he fell into the darkness once more.
Panicking, Sam tried to reach out once more, yet he couldn't open his eyes. He couldn't move his limbs and he couldn't hear. He didn't want to sleep again, there was no telling if he would wake up the next time.
Before fear could fully embrace him, he could smell it again. Lavender. He began to calm slightly, if he could hold onto his sense of smell, maybe he could bring himself back. As if clawing at the darkness, he forced himself back into consciousness, moving closer to the flowery smell.
"There you are." The girl's tender voice said as she brushed some of his hair out of his eyes. "You know, the doctors frown upon wearing scented lotion at work." She sounded irritated for a moment when she spoke of her collegues. "But I think it's what brought you back. Like a good luck scent, don't you think?"
Sam couldn't answer yet. His throat seemed to be moistened, yet it felt like he hadn't spoken in ages. 'Just how long has passed?' He tried to open his eyes once more and was met with a world of blurriness, yet after a minute he was able to focus slightly. Yellow light dimly lit the room he was in, giving him just enough light to make out a head of brown curly hair. Looking down just a little, he met two kind eyes of a young woman.
"We moved you here so you can get used to using your eyes again." She said as she waved her hand at the dim light. "My name is Rosemarie, but you can call me Rose." She smiled sweetly as she wet a washcloth and wiped some of the sweat off of his brow. "I know things are confusing right now, but we will figure it out together."
Sam had been through the battlefield many times in his ten years in the Army and saw many of his brothers and sisters return home for a final time, yet when he heard the sympathy and sincereness in her voice, he could think of no arguments he could voice, if he could voice anything at all. He satisfied himself with a ghost of a nod as he looked into her eyes.
Rose seemed to notice, because her smile had spread even more to her eyes. In that moment, he decided he would make it his goal to make her smile as much as he could while he stayed here. He tried for a weak smile, and was rewarded with another gentle hand against his cheek. "I have a few other patients to check in on, but I will be back soon."
"S-" Sam tried to tell her to stay, but broke out coughing before he could get the word out. Rose reached for a cup and filled it with water, putting it to his lips.
"Take small sips." She reassured him as she smoothed out his hair. "There will be a time for talking, I promise." She put the cup back on his night stand and stood to walk to the door. "I will be back soon." Her smile was the last thing he saw before the door shut. Sam allowed the darkness to swallow him once more as he vowed to come back when the smell of lavender returned.