As she knew my every desk secret likewise she also opened up with hers. Now the situation was like we had totally trusted each other for everything we shared and were about to share. It was safe with both of us, she kept my secrets as if it's hers and I kept hers as if it mine. There was hardly a hairline difference between two of us in this matter. While listening to each of ours inner emotions she remembered one of her most heart breaking part in her life. She was being double crossed by a man, she didn't knew that untill and unless one of her close relative told her that the man has a relationship of ten years. She whipped with the pain she was telling I was devastated looking at her tears and feeling do helpless at that moment. Oh! my freaking destiny why didn't you took me then. I was tearing when she was shedding tears from the eyes which for me where the pearls of her jolly face. I can't help and I was cursing myself of being such a helpless person.
Even if we had the deal and we both didn't want to rush in a relationship but I had a clear mind the Yes! this is it, nothing can bring me more better than this but it was different that what did she felt for me. May be not the same as I did. This was the worst and the best part too, we knew where we were approaching but still we had that reminders that we have that deal and to be frank I was not ready to be in a relationship even being in so much love.
It's very difficult right when we are such a situation you have everything on your plate and then you remember you are vegetarian. It is really hard but you have set some virtues for yourself as we did in our friendship. I didn't know what to call a beautiful virtual meeting, a friendship full of happiness without any complaints or this was an unrequited love.
She had more bad experiences than me and for me I was have a neutral life as compared to her. She was been broken and was narrating her fallen apart love experience and it was all long conversations of which I was getting more and more addicted, night was short for our talks and even days too.
But that's fine when you are isolated and thank God you are allowed your cell phone with you thing works for us.
Her emotions and feelings were untold and I could see it right through her eyes which she always tries to cover it with her sarcasm or the different facial expressions. Winking her eyes or sometime taking her tongue out to me. Everything she did made me feel more close towards her, and I didn't resist myself and neither did I stopped her to do so. I don't know how conscious was she during this time about the things we discussed and fantasised about the future for our togetherness. As told by someone great, " If we think we plan and will go like we think, than I'm sorry life doesn't work like this." Every moment we enjoyed we had always and everytime a laugh or something jolly might follow with it.
"Ming, if we by chance get in a relationship I think we'll keep ending laughing and pulling our legs with our jokes at each other we won't end in intimacy. Haha!! " She told as I was just about to say that only. This was the level of compatibility we had, knowing each other was different but more than that we were surprised to we knew each other before one could say. Each of our reactions were proving something to us. Trying to tell us both many things though it was still not easy for both of us. But what if your destiny is putting everything to get you together still you won't accept that and 'Run away.'
I was so desperate that I took screenshots of her during our video call. But she got that and she send her pictures to me and one picture in which she was standing on a bridge leaning her arms on the barrier and over that she had let her head lean softly on the arms looking at the camera, I felt like so much intensity in her that are trying to relief her from something.In that picture she was trying to tell me, " Ming, I want to take a deep breath and let things go off from my shoulders so that I can be relived from all this running and accepting things. Just want to stay at one place and relax."
This picture wet my eyes everytime I saw, like I'm being called to make her mind composed for another task of life and to let her lean on my shoulders to relax and let things go off as she wanted so desperately.
Sometimes what we want is not to take all our problems and make theirs or expect them to take over and solve them, rather we expect someone to be there a company, someone to hold our hand to lift us all above from these problems, heart breaks, fear whatever it is. To understand, support, little bit of encouragement. It is always possible to do this. But now a days this has become to most difficult things to offer for most of the people. The is the reality we are going through.
We both have extended our hands for these things only which was difficult for others.
Knowing that we both were not the ones who took our problems to get solved, you see this was what we both were looking for actually to be worth of letting each other beyond the parameters.