Before I could live this journey of surprises and moreover happiness, I started feeling the drawn in her voice and her body language. I kept my silence as I was still living in the way that we were and didn't even try to make an approach to make that right. She liked to be left whenever she is not fine and I didn't want me to be a reason her to get mad or irritated, I didn't have any idea how to keep these things
away from her. Neither I could dare to do so I didn't want to lose her for any silly reasons. We both were almost same in nature, I also don't like to share something which cannot be understood and which can only be mine and can end only by me. I knew this feeling so I wanted to give her me time so that she can fix this and return back.
Even though she started to contact me less I didn't mind with that I carefully listened to her whenever she did. That was more than enough for me just to listen her voice or to see her for a little while. It backed me to do so many do things and to think so many fine thoughts. I knew she was about to finish her isolation and will be more busy with her family and over that she is working a lot and helps her mother in every way possible. I made me to heart melt that I couldn't and I didn't ask for extra time from her. I was happy with her own time whatever she took out from her very busy timing. She has the OCD and which makes her a more busy with working at her home. I remember she can't even see a small rubbish or dust, immediately she will be with a broom to get it cleaned every now and then. All these memories I have are just marvelous to remember and cherish.
Inside I was still not ready to except the thing that she is slowly ignoring me and trying to get rid of me. But whenever I called her or chat her, she had always told that it's nothing it's only that she is busy in her works and studies. Besides me being a stubborn and paranoid I was still thinking that there is something wrong she is trying to hide something that is worrying her. Sometimes vibes and energy around you speaks and conveys more than our words. These feelings don't need any tongue they just flow through your vibes and hit your sixth sense immediately.
Things were slowly slipping from both of us, we stopped sharing memes the most direct signal I got at first when I got this, that something is not fine between us. And I thought nothing is wrong everything is fine it was my intuition and overthinking that is creating this mess in my mind. In fact me being very strong with the vibes I knew my instance very well but this time I was not at all ready to listen. I believed that nothing wrong is going on between us. This time I thought it's my turn to hold her now till that day she was the one standing right beside me without any complaints and expectations. She didn't even ask for anything in return, I wanted to stand by her in whatever way possible. But the most frustrating thing was the locked down where we cannot even go any where, it was the worst feeling and the most helpless time. I wanted to see and let things happen as she wished or wanted. I still didn't know whether it was my overthinking or did my intuition gave me the right signal of things not being right.
I kept on thinking and it drove me more and more into this mystery. All I wanted was to fix this mess what it was there in between we two. I could trust myself and no one else I didn't seek to anyone and I started collecting all these things in my head. I know this not the right way, we have so many go through it has just started. I thought if that was what the fate wanted, I was ready for it. I was so charged up with the things happening around me.
Only thing which was breaking me was that she did a lot to drawn many good things from me. But when I should be up with the same attitude I couldn't even ask nor I could help this thing end. I was wondering how and why was this happening, what went wrong which we can't even try to end. We had shared all the secrets and feelings but what was this particular thing that we both were hesitating to discuss.
Neither she took a step nor did I something to fix this. It was the most helpless moments I had ever faced till now. And I was continuously thinking why is this happening and kneeing that this would irritated her more I never dared to ask her. Another reason was that her birthday was very near and I was more excited than her, I was about to give her a surprise through the phone. And I was desperately waiting for her day as I thought this would fix things up.