Bai Yunkai was too drained to revisit his memories any longer, and bid them all to leave him alone so he could meditate. Xue Xiangsi left his room in a daze. For such a long time he had wondered about his shizun's mysterious past, which he had never divulged, not even under the sweetest cajoling. Remembering the haunted look in his star-scarred eyes, Xue Xiangsi thought he could understand why.
"Shidi, Zui Chunlai told us when we met at the Lei mansion that you were attacked in the brothel. Are you okay?" Liu Zhuyu asked, holding back Xue Xiangsi by his wide sleeve.
He looked into her clear doe eyes, brimming with concern for him, and was overcome with fondness. Their shizun had lost someone who he had once cared deeply for. Xue Xiangsi hugged Liu Zhuyu close to his chest, smelling the sweet scent of plum blossoms wafting up from her silky hair, and committing it to memory. He would never take the people he loved for granted. That hollow look on Bai Yunkai's eyes hinted at a depth of heartbreak Xue Xiangsi never wanted to experience.
It was the kind of pain that could kill a person who still drew breath. That Bai Yunkai could keep smiling while living with that sorrow was a testament to his strength.
"I'm fine, is shijie alright as well? Yan Huaxing said you fought hard," Xue Xiangsi said, pressing his nose against Liu Zhuyu's hair. They were almost of a height; he was only a couple of cun taller than her.
Liu Zhuyu held on tightly to his robe and seemed to hide her face against his chest, the tops of her ears were scarlet. "Yan-jie is a very capable fighter I was never in danger."
"The two of you have grown close," Xue Xiangsi said, in a leading tone, hoping she would elaborate.
She didn't, coughing instead, and putting some space between the two of them. "What about you and Zui Chunlai? He was in a hurry to find you when we ran into him at the Lei mansion. Has he taken liberties with you again?"
Xue Xiangsi could only laugh. "He has, but shijie needn't worry, I took liberties right back."
He was blushing despite his brash words, and turned his back on Liu Zhuyu to walk towards his room. "Have a good night shijie, I'll see you in the morning."
"What does that mean? You took liberties as well? Shidi, shidi, come back!"
Xue Xiangsi closed the door to his room hurriedly, muffling Liu Zhuyu's distressed voice.
Inside the room he was faced with a much bigger problem. Zui Chunlai was lounging next to the table, with one leg stretched out, and his elbow balanced on his bent knee. His smirk grew fangs when Xue Xiangsi walked in. He tapped the table with two long fingers, drawing Xue Xiangsi's attention to the still steaming mantous in a bamboo basket on top.
"I thought Xiangsi might be hungry and I went down to the kitchens to ask for mantous with vegetable fillings especially for him," Zui Chunlai said, clearly very pleased with himself.
Xue Xiangsi sat down at the table, and picked up one of mantous, the skin was soft as a petal, and broke like a cloud when he tore it in two to offer the one half to Zui Chunlai.
"To shared delights and common hardships." He held out the mantou to Zui Chunlai.
Their fingers touched when Zui Chunlai took the bun from his hand. An electric current ran through Xue Xiangsi, all the way from his fingertips to his toes. He bit into his mantou to hide his blush, and everted his gaze.
"Xiangsi looks very pensive," Zui Chunlai said after the two of them had eaten their half of the mantou. "Is he disappointed that there is someone else in Bai Yunkai's heart already?"
Xue Xiangsi looked confused for a moment before remembering he was supposed to be madly in love with his shizun. "Oh, that, very. My heart bleeds with longing and unfulfilled passion, my skin aches with the absence of my beloved's touch, and other such things."
His heart did ache but with sympathy for his shizun. Who knew how much misery his blind eyes had seen? What depths of sorrow hid behind his kindly smile? Xue Xiangsi felt unfilial for believing the mask Bai Yunkai wore every day. Would he even have suspected anything if exhaustion and worry hadn't allowed it to slip earlier? When he was back in Snowfall Peak he would burn incense for the ancestors and ask their forgiveness for being such a callous and unfilial disciple.
Zui Chunlai must have read something completely different on his face, because he took advantage of Xue Xiangsi's distraction to lean over him, and push his back flush against the floor. Looming over him like a great big dog.
He suspected Zui Chunlai was trying to look menacing, but instead he landed somewhere between endearing and pitiful. Xue Xiangsi was tempted to pat his hair to smooth over his displeased pout.
"I can make Xiangsi forget all about him," he whispered, nosing into Xue Xiangsi's neck. "Bai Yunkai is hiding more than a shizun."
"How does Zui Chunlai know so much about my shizun?" It was something that had been nagging at him. He had initially thought that Zui Chunlai was only trying to make him question Bai Yunkai's character, which hadn't worked. But then why did Zui Chunlai keep bringing it up instead of switching strategies. Unless he really did know something.
"That's very exclusive information, why would I share it for free?"
Xue Xiangsi knew where this was going, he rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, Zui Chunlai wants a kiss in exchange."
"No, I want to know more about Xiangsi," he said with an impish smile.
Xue Xiangsi leaned back fully on the floor, folding his arms behind his head and making his long hair fan out like a peacock's tail. "Then I want to know more about Zui Chunlai as well."
Zui Chunlai got comfortable in his prone position. Holding his face up on his palm, and throwing his other arm over Xue Xiangsi's waist. "Xiangsi may ask."
"Why are you so interested in me?"
"Is Xiangsi fishing for compliments? Is he unaware of his exceptional beauty?" He ran his thumb over the cinnabar beauty mark under the corner of Xue Xiangsi's eye. "This little thing right here, it's really alluring. I can't help wanting to press my lips to it every time I see it." He did just that, laughing when Xue Xiangsi pulled his hair in reproach.
"Be honest," he chided.
"Does Xiangsi remember the inter sect competition that took place in Jiuzhaigou? It's Golden Crane territory; we were hosting that year."
Xue Xiangsi's memories of that competition were very faint, he must have been twelve, it was coincidently the competition he came in first and won Heavenly Frost, directly from Qiu Yuliang's hands. It had always vexed him, that he had so few memories of the competition he won. One of the challenges of the competition was a poisoned field. One of the side-effects of the many poisons he inhaled that day was that his memories of that time were very foggy. He only had a general idea of the challenges involved, and then of the winning ceremony, and receiving the sword from Qiu Yuliang after being advised by Liu Zhiruo not to say anything embarrassing.
"I have almost no memories of that week. With some exceptions, everything I know about what happened shijie and shizun told me."
Zui Chunlai looked crestfallen for a second, before his usual smirk returned. "Then Xiangsi doesn't remember meeting me?"
Xue Xiangsi shook his head, genuinely regretful. He wondered what the younger Zui Chunlai had been like. Still a dog who thought he was a wolf, or more like a playful puppy?
"I'll make sure Xiangsi can never forget me this time," he said, and bent down to kiss the mole next to Xue Xiangsi's eye again.
"Where is your boldness? This is the perfect opportunity for you to kiss me on the lips. I'm lying right here, with nowhere to go." Xue Xiangsi teased, while wrapping a strand of Zui Chunlai's hair around his finger.
"It's really endearing," Zui Chunlai said, a faint smile playing at his sculpted lips.
"What is?"
"That Xiangsi says such things while blushing like a peach."
It was indeed unfortunate that he had such a thin face, which sat at odds with his combative nature and fiery temper. The result was that more often than not he looked like a flustered fox yapping at a mountain. Being reminded of it only made him blush harder.
"Somethings are uncomfortable for me to say, but that won't prevent me from saying them anyway."
"Does that mean Xiangsi wants a kiss?"
"No, I just want to know why you're not pushing your luck."
Zui Chunlai leaned down closer, his lips almost touching Xue Xiangsi's earshell."Now that I've given Xiangsi a taste, I want him to come begging for the next one himself."
Xue Xiangsi raised an eyebrow. Those were bold words coming from a man who had begged to fuck him. "Those are bold words coming from someone who begged to fuck me earlier today."
It was just a faint glow, but Xue Xiangsi could have sworn Zui Chunlai got a little bit redder. "If Xiangsi had given in, it would have meant he wanted it as much as I did," Zui Chunlai's tone was candid, as if he was ashamed somehow.
"But I didn't."
"Xiangsi didn't."
Xue Xiangsi smiled, he was beginning to get a grasp on Zui Chunlai's internal logic. "And now you won't offer anymore?"
Zui Chunlai nodded. "Xiangsi will have to kiss me himself, if he wants to. He will be the one begging too."
He was far too confident for someone who had just handed Xue Xiangsi the weapon of his own murder. Xue Xiangsi was going to tease him mercilessly, and see how long it took Zui Chunlai to go back on his own words.
"Mark your words," Xue Xiangsi said, already envisioning the many ways he could make Zui Chunlai squirm.
"I will." Zui Chunlai's tone was so solemn, that Xue Xiangsi had to bite down on his tongue not to laugh.
"Good, don't forget I still don't trust you." He tapped Zui Chunlai's nose with his fingertip. "Now, tell me how you know so much about Shizun."
Zui Chunlai sighed, and got up to lean his back against the table. He picked up another mantou and dug into it with a large bite. "He and Qiu Yuliang were sect brothers."
Now that he thought about it, Xue Xiangsi did remember Bai Yunkai calling Qiu Yuliang shixiong during their first meeting with Liu Zhiruo about his disappearance. It just hadn't registered at that time. They both had the same unfathomable, ageless, appearance, and the same grace, and economy of movement, when walking. In hindsight it was obvious.
"Who knows about this?" Xue Xiangsi's major concern at the moment was that Qiu Yuliang's kidnapping meant that his shizun was at risk too.
"Very few people, I suspect your sect leader is one of the few. Ji Shuren of course is one of the others," answered Zui Chunlai now comparing the roundness of two mantous, before deciding which one to eat. "I'll tell Xiangsi one more thing as well. The immortality all our little sects try and cultivate to achieve? They've already reached it. They both come from the immortal sect in the Kunlun Mountains."