Chereads / The Traitor's Moon [BL] / Chapter 12 - Restful Heart

Chapter 12 - Restful Heart

The biggest shock to Xue Xiangsi wasn't that Bai Yunkai was a former member of the Kunlun sect, but that it existed at all. There were several tales of wondering immortal cultivators, and of course, it was proven that cultivation could keep the cultivators looking youthful despite their real age. People often talked about the Kunlun sect, but everyone assumed it was a myth. It was supposedly under the protection of the gods themselves, and its members were guaranteed to ascend to godhood after their years on earth. Could his shizun really be one of them?

"Is what they say about the Kunlun sect true?" Xue Xiangsi asked, clinging to the collar of Zui Chunlai's robes, his phoenix eyes wide with awe. "How long has my shizun threaded through the dust of the mortal world?"

A disparaging smirk twisted Zui Chunlai's lips as he removed Xue Xiangsi's hands from his robes, and held them in his. He ran his thumb over the slender fingers and sharp knuckles for a moment before answering: "That Xiangsi will have to ask Bai Yunkai himself. Qiu Yuliang never told me, and he wasn't forthcoming about the details of the Kunlun sect. I also have no idea how they became immortal."

"What do you mean?" Asked Xue Xiangsi, quirking an eyebrow. "Didn't they join the sect to achieve immortality?"

Zui Chunlai shook his head. "No, that's what our sects are for, one can only join the Kunlun sect after having already achieved immortality."

All his life, Xue Xiangsi had studied the Dao, trying to achieve perfect harmony with the natural word and reach immortality, as all other cultivators did, regardless of which sect they belonged to. He had never really thought about what would happen after he actually reached it. In a way, he thought he never would. Until this exact moment he had never heard of a cultivator who had. Immortality was a worthy goal to pursue, something to focus his efforts and sharpen his cultivation, a distant beacon calling on to him to hone his cultivation into a sharp blade. But a distant beacon nonetheless, constantly out of his reach.

"Aren't you curious, though? About how they reached immortality, don't you want it for yourself?"

Zui Chunlai shrugged. "It doesn't change anything for me. It's something I'll either achieve or I won't."

He studied Xue Xiangsi with a keen look. "Besides, it's just how the Dao teaches us. Action through inaction. Don't try to change the natural world to fit your goals, adapt to its shape instead. I can only diligently practice my cultivation. Worrying about anything else is a distraction. As Snowfall Peak's second most accomplished disciple, Xiangsi should know this."

Xue Xiangsi chuckled, and picked up one of the remaining mantous from the basket. "As sect leader Liu loves to remind me, my failings are many and varied." He bit into the soft bun. "Besides, I didn't expect Golden Crane to adhere so closely to Daoist principles, considering your love of the secular world and its pleasures."

Zui Chunlai smiled, and leaned his cheek on his open palm.

"I had the best teacher," he said, throwing Xue Xiangsi's earlier words back at him.

Xue Xiangsi bit into his mantou again and remained silent. He was extremely curious about Zui Chunlai's mysterious teacher. It seemed mysterious teachers were very fashionable lately. He would drag more information out of Zui Chunlai eventually. He only had to bid his time, and work his charms.

After they both finished eating Xue Xiangsi wanted to meditate for a while. He cleaned the table, and picked up his guqin from the chest in their room. He set the guqin on the table, and sat behind it to start playing.

"Any requests?" He plucked some chords to warm up his fingers, while sparing Zui Chunlai an impish smile.

Zui Chunlai settled in front of the table. Legs crossed, back sword straight, and arms resting loosely over his thighs. He closed his eyes, before answering. "Play something seductive, to set the mood."

Xue Xiangsi couldn't help laughing at the contrast between his vulgar words and his posture of perfect mindful introspection.

"I'll play 'Clear Mind, Restful Heart', it might do you some good."

The corner of Zui Chunlai's lip ticked up minutely, but he remained quiet as Xue Xiangsi started strumming the chords, this time with intent.

Soon, the pleasant tune of the guqin enveloped the whole room in a serene atmosphere. The music always reminded Xue Xiangsi of the sound of water lapping at a riverbank. It conjured up images of smooth stones long eroded by the water's unyielding path. He recalled a conversation Bai Yunkai once had with him, when he was much younger.

"What is better, to be the rock or the flowing water?" Shizun had asked him.

Xue Xiangsi had replied with all the conviction of a child, smiling toothlessly at his shizun while holding on to his feet. "Rocks are hard, and they can break stuff, so it's better to be a rock."

Bai Yunkai had patted his head indulgently. "Rocks can also break. But water never will. It endures, and can carve a path through anything. Water is shapeless, elusive, and nourishing but also destructive. It can be held in a cup or dam, but it can never be truly controlled. You should be like the water, Xiang'er, your strength should never be obvious to your enemies, it should lie in wait like a hidden blade, ready to fall on them like a storm."

He hadn't understood Bai Yunkai's words then, and it would be several years until he did. He wasn't sure if he had managed to become like water, but whenever he meditated, he tried to envision swift currents, snow storms, ice falling like tiny daggers from pine needles, and the warm mist of the hot spring in the Willow Courtyard. Water in all its shapes.

Zui Chunlai's gentle touch on his shoulder brought him out of his meditation. His fingers stilled on the guqin's chords, ending the melody on a discordant note.

"Xiangsi has been playing and meditating for an hour. We should sleep. Tomorrow we need to get to the bottom of the Blood Moon's sect actions in Qi An."

Xue Xiangsi nodded, and removed his hair pin, letting the upper half of his hair fall down his back and shoulders like a waterfall. "We still need to understand if they're truly connected to Qiu Yuliang's disappearance, and if so, why they want the Whirlwind Fan."

Zui Chunlai seemed distracted by the silky curtain of Xue Xiangsi's unbound hair, and took some time to reply. "In any case we still have 14 days until the sequesters' deadline. Hopefully we'll be able to rescue Qiu Yuliang before then."

They both stood in the middle of the room, staring at the bed. In the span of a single day, Xue Xiangsi no longer felt like Zui Chunlai was a stranger, but he still wasn't thrilled about sharing a bed with him again. He sighed and rubbed his temples, there was no point in trying to gather spilt water back into the cup.

He started unfastening his robes, carefully draping them at the foot of the bed. Zui Chunlai did the same, this time leaving his undershirt on.

The bed was much larger than the one in Xue Xiangsi's room, so they weren't awkwardly pressed together. Not that Xue Xiangsi had anything to fear, if Zui Chunlai's word were to be trusted he wouldn't do anything unless Xue Xiangsi took the initiative. He was looking forward to teasing him, but he had slept very poorly the previous night, so this time he wanted to rest easily.

"Don't try to hug me during the night," he said, turning his back on Zui Chunlai and facing the wall.

"I won't."

"Good, sleep well."

"I hope Xiangsi sleeps well, too."

Silence settled over the room like a warm blanket, and Xue Xiangsi was beginning to feel the lassitude of sleep overtake him.

He was about to fall truly asleep when Zui Chunlai said, "Does Xiangsi think it's really possible to develop a demonic core?"

Xue Xiangsi huffed out an exasperated breath, and closed his eyes tighter. "Yes, I think it's possible, Shizun does as well. But we'll know more after interrogating Tan Fei and the other prisoners."

Zui Chunlai hummed in agreement, and Xue Xiangsi thought he would finally be able to fall asleep.

Alas, "I think it's important that we find Madam Sisi and ask her about what she knows about that 'Crimson Shadow'," Zui Chunlai blurted out, as if the words were coming out of him unbidden.

Xue Xiangsi muffled a frustrated scream against his pillow, and counted to ten before answering. "Crimson Shadow is probably the man who was fighting with Shizun, I don't know what is Madam Sisi's connection with him, but we'll find out. Tomorrow."

This time Zui Chunlai seemed to get the message, because he remained quiet. Xue Xiangsi wouldn't be fooled a third time however, and remained alert until he could be sure Zui Chunlai wouldn't drag him away from sleep's tender embrace again.

Sure enough, "Does Xiangsi thin-"

Xue Xiangsi punched his pillow before Zui Chunlai could finish speaking, and turned around to face him. "What would it take to make Chunlai shut up, and go, to, sleep?"

The moonlight coming in through the paper window panes limned the room in diffused shades of silver. The dim glow caught on Zui Chunlai's sharp canine when he smirked, and on the steely glint of his dark eyes. Unfortunately for Xue Xiangsi he had pressed his face into the pillow again, and wasn't aware of the moment the dog became a wolf.

"What does Xue Xiangsi have in mind?" Zui Chunlai asked, saturating his words with meekness.

"If I let you hug me, will you be quiet?"

Zui Chunlai shuffled closer to Xue Xiangsi and threw one arm over his waist, pulling him flush against his chest.

"I promise I won't say a single word," Zui Chunlai said, whispering the words against the top of Xue Xiangsi's head.

Xue Xiangsi sighed, and burrowed further into Zui Chunlai's arms, made even sleepier by the warmth emanating from him, so different from Xue Xiangsi's own, usually cold, body temperature.

"If you wake me up again, I'll stab you," Xue Xiangsi said, the words coming out muffled against the thin fabric of Zui Chunlai's inner robe.

Zui Chunlai ran his fingers over Xue Xiangsi's hair, and smiled. "Xiangsi can do whatever he wants with me."