"Ricky!"
"I'm here baby, I'm here!"
I run to her side and clutch her hand in mine. She was crying but when I held her hand her worried face seemed to ease for just little bit.
"Ricky, will you stay?"
"Si mami, I'm not going anywhere."
I kiss the back of my hand as she cries out. I was panicking, I had no idea what to say or what to do.
"That's it, just a few more pushes! You've got it!"
A few more pushes huh? That was well over 72 hours ago. I stood by her side as she cried and held onto me. Those three days where the totally some of the most stressful I've had in a long while. After she had the second baby she had almost immediately passed out. She wanted to hold them but the nurses insisted that they watch after them while she slept.
I was excited to have not one but two boys of my very own but my main concern was Kaz. I couldn't even begin to understand the pain she had just went through and I was worried. I wanted to make sure she was doing okay.
"Sir, I can assure you that she'll be fine. She just needs some rest for now. Until then why don't-"
"Were are my boys? I wanna see them."
The shorter blond nurse in pink scrubs stares at me with a blank expression. Was she dumb? Because I know that I clearly said that I wanted to see my kids so why wasn't she moving?
"Sir your children will be fine. They are being cleaned up and fed and unless their mother says otherwise we will keep them overnight so she may sleep."
"Do what he says,"
Both me and the nurse turn around to face Kaz. She was awake but she looked completely exhausted. I move back to the bed and gently hold her hand.
"Bring him his kids..."
"Of course, right away miss."
"Ricky, you damn asshole. You came."
I laugh and kiss her head.
"Yeah, maybe if I hadn't we wouldn't be here."
She swats at my hand.
"Even now you joke? Always so vulgar." She reaches upwards and places her palm on the side of my face. "I've missed seeing you."
I put my hand on top of hers and press my forehead to her own and close my eyes.
"Hm, I've missed you too. Maybe once you're feeling better we can talk about moving, yeah?"
She groans.
"Ricky, I need to talk to you and I need for you to listen, really listen."
I nod my head. "You got my attention."
"Knock knock, I've got a special delivery!"
Lina comes through the door holding the twins in her arms. This woman has got to have to worse goddamn timing.
"We'll talk later. So stick around okay?" Kaz says in a hushed voice as Lina walks closer.
"I'm not going anywhere mami, not without you."
"Sorry if I interrupted something. Heard the nurse hassling you about seeing the twins so I took the liberty of bringing them myself."
I make way for her as she hands them both to Kaz. Her face lights up as she looks down at the small infants in her arms.
"I'll give you two some privacy."
After she hands Kaz the kids, Lina smiles at her then leaves the two of us alone.
"This one has your eyes, come look."
"I- I don't know if I should. What if I accidentally hurt him? Or I fuck up and-"
"Ricky," Her eyes shift to mine. "Come hold him."
She makes room on the bed and I sit beside her.
"Hold out your arms, see like this."
She adjusts my arms and she gently places the small boy in them. He coos and slowly opens his eyes and sure enough they're the same shade of hazel as mine.
"Ah, look at this." I glance up at Kaz and see that she's crying again. "All my boys, all here with me. My own beautiful little family."
"Mhm, we're fucking parents now hermosa. How do you feel?"
"Tired as hell... But relived. In a few days I can get things back on track, I can make everything normal again."
"Normal eh? I'm not sure if I'll ever know what that means..."
I wag my finger at the little baby's face and he pulls at it. Him and his brother were already so precious to me. It was like I couldn't even image a life without them, hell, I never wanted to.
"Tal vez podamos resolver esto juntos, ¿no, Anthony?"
(Maybe we can work this out together, right, Anthony?)
"Anthony? You've already thought of a name?"
I glance back up at Kaz, she has a small smile on her face. "Huh, guess so."
"It's a beautiful name. Makes me wonder how you thought of it."
"A good question, but I have no answer. It was just the first thing to pop into my head."
"Guess there's more brains up there than I thought." I chuckle. Looks like I'm not the only one making jokes.
"What about Josiah?"
She suddenly asks me as she softly touches his face.
"Anthony and Josiah Ramirez-Hernandez? Hehe, they already sound like a handful."
"Nothing I can't handle."
"I? Not we?"
She sighs as she sits herself up.
"Yes Ricky, I. That's what I wanted to talk to you about... I think it'd be wise if I raise the boys on my own."
"Fuck Kaz! I thought we were pass that stupid ass idea!" I take a breath and lower my voice as Anthony starts to squirm in my arms. "Listen, you've just been to hell and back so we can talk about this another time."
"No, don't just push this aside because you don't wanna hear what I have to say. We'll talk about now."
"Talk about what exactly? How you plan on running off with my kids? Keeping them from me? Kazmaria there's only so much I can can take until I snap, and this... This might just be it."
"You don't think I feel the same way? Ricky why can't you see that you're the cause behind all of this?! You are the root of all your own problems?"
She wipes the tears and sweat from her face and closes her eyes.
"I'm exhausted Ricky. I'm tired of running from you, of looking over my shoulder all the time, of thinking that that you'll show up unexpectedly."
"So stop running from me. Stop looking over your shoulder and stop trying to psychoanalyze what I do. Just listen to me. That's all I've ever wanted from you; To be heard."
"Well I'm all ears so talk."
I disregard her dry tone and continue speaking.
"I know that we both want completely different things but maybe we can come to some sort of compromise?"
She doesn't say anything but gives me an annoyed look instead.
"That is, of course, if you're willing to consider it and not be so damn stubborn."
"God, yes Ricky, I'll listen to whatever 'stupid ass idea' you have of offer."
"Ah, throwing my words back in my face? Muy cruel mami."
"Ricardo." She says my name in a stern tone. Kinda hot.
Anthony begins to fuss and move around.
"Ah, he's probably hungry. They both are. Give em here."
She adjusts herself and I give her the boy. She had both of them in her arms while they ate. I move from the bed, wanting to turn my back to give her some privacy but it was like I was in some sort of trance.
"Why not take a picture weirdo."
"I- I'm sorry." I spin around, my face heating with embarrassment as I walk towards the door. "I'll give you some time."
"Ricky wait! Don't leave I was kidding, besides, it's not like you haven't done the same."
I laugh at the unexpected joke she just made.
"Oh Dios mío, you're jokes are just as lewd as mine!"
"Yeah, you're a bad influence." She nods towards the spot I just got up from. "Now come sit back down, I'm already missing you."
I sigh and run my hand through my hair, I guess we'll talk later. I climb back into the bed next to her and put my arm behind her head so she can rest on my chest. In this moment everything felt so- so normal. Maybe I did know what it meant after all.