"Fucking hell. Why does nothing ever go according to plan?"
It had been a few hours after I had laid Kaz and Josiah in bed. I didn't want to wake her so I stayed on the couch. I could hear the faint chatter of someone upstairs, I would make my way towards them soon but there was a weird feeling that I couldn't seem to shake ever since I set foot in this place.
I walk back to the room Kaz and I have been sharing and head to the bathroom. I stare at my reflection in the large mirror in silence. My scars had never really bothered me before but they seemed to be everywhere. No matter how many tattoos I got to cover them, they were still there.
I was getting sloppy. I had little patience, and it was eating at me. I hated the man that looked back at me. He was an animal. A grotesque sight. I was hallow inside, just a shell of the man I used to be and it hurt to admit it.
"Te odio. Te odio, te odio, te odio!"
(I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!)
There was a dam holding back my rage but as time passed it began to crack. But I had her. She keeps me from going completely under. She was my life-line. That's why I needed her. That's why I refused to let her leave my side again. She was my everything. She was my last shot at a normal life and I refused to fuck it up again.
"Mhmm..."
I turn my head towards the bed and see Kaz tossing around in her sleep. Recently she kept having nightmares that never seemed to end. I walk over to her and pull her body into my arms. Her thrashing eases up as she clings closer to me.
"It's okay, beautiful. I've got you now, don't worry."
She nuzzles her head against my neck and sighs. I could still hear her words from earlier; "I'm so of you." They were as clear as day. Those four words weighed heavily on my heart. She noticed that I've been trying.
"Some day, when I'm awfully low..." I push her hair behind her ear and softly sing to her.
"When the world is cold. I will feel a glow just thinking of you. And the way you look tonight." As I finish the last lyric, Kaz begins to slump in my arms and a wave of exhaustion washes over me.
"I love you, Kazmaria. You are my everything hermosa, good night baby."
***
There's a sharp pain in my gut, followed by a metallic smell and a thick liquid running down my abdomen.
"Everything you've done has been for nothing. You live because I say so and now you die because I say so."
The reflection of light shining off of a wide knife hits my eye. Before I have time to move the person welding the weapon stabs me in the chest and slowly drags it down to my stomach.
I can't move. I can't scream. I was stuck, frozen in place as this person continues to gash me. My mind was being overwhelmed by agony. The sound of flesh ripping and tearing, the splatter of blood and the wild laughter was slowly fading.
I was dying. My body craved sweet release but in my head I was scared. I didn't want to leave just yet. I had so much to do, so much to see, but most importantly I had bonds that needed repairs.
"I've got you now, don't worry."
Strong arms pulled me off the ground and held me close. The suffering I had been going through seemed to immediately stop. The deep, raspy voice had began to sing. Their voice was smooth as silk but had such strain to it.
"I love you, Kazmaria."
Ricky? Was that him who made this pain stop? Was that his voice softly singing to me? It had to be... He came back for me. I want to reach out and touch him, I wanted to kiss him, he needed to know that I still loved him.
"Ricky!" I pant as my eyes frantically search around the bedroom. I look down at my stomach and sigh in relief that there's no stab wounds.
"Kaz? Kaz!"
He bursts through the bathroom doors with a towel wrapped around his waist and his worried eyes scanning my own.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
"I- Yeah, just another bad dream."
He sighs in relief and runs a hand through his hair. Water trickled carelessly down his bulky chest only to disappear beneath his towel.
"¿Ves algo que te guste?"
(Do you see anything you like?)
I look away as my face heats. I still wasn't used to his muscular physique, honestly I was a bit intimidated by how much he had changed.
"I- I'm- What?"
"Hehe, it's cute to see that I still make you speechless."
"Shut up..."
I lie back down and pull the sheets over my head. I feel the opposite side of the bed sink as he crawls in next to me. His hand slowly snakes around my waist and pulls me back, closer to his chest.
"I think it's adorable that you try to run from me."
His voice had become deeper, it dripped with hunger and sent chills up my spine as his warm breath tickled my neck.
"It makes hunting you down all the more exciting, mami. Especially when I catch you..."
He places a kiss on the back of my neck.
"Porque después de que te pillen, te castigo."
(Because after you get caught, I punish you.)
I roll my eyes at his comment. "You? Punish me? Heh, so you think you could ever?"
"Don't think that because you have my heart that I won't handle you accordingly... Though, I may ease up just a bit since you're so damn beautiful."
He pulls my body closer to him and squeezes me a little harder.
"Oh no, whatever you throw at me I can take. Think I've proven that a more few times."
"Kazmaria! Was that a dick joke?!"
He sits up and burst into a fit of laughter. It seemed like years had passed since I've heard such hardy laughter. It was contagious. After he calmed down, he wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at me. His gaze was soft, so heartwarming and gentle.
"God, I hope I never lose you again, hermosa. You're absolutely perfect."
I feel my face heat at his words. I had never been called perfect before.
"I don't want to lose you either, Ricky. I lo-"
"RICARDO HERNANDEZ! WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?! TELL THAT FUCK-FACE I'M HERE TO KILL HIM!"
I glance at the door then back at Ricky.
"Who the hell is that?"
He starts to pull on a pair of shorts and grabs a large blade from the nightstand.
"Sounds like I've got an early morning guest. Go to the nursery and get the boys."
"But what about you?"
"Nows not the time to worry about that. Your safety comes first. Fuera de aquí, mami."
With that last sentence he leaves the room without so much as a glance in my direction. I hurry to the boy's room and scrabble to pack the baby bag. Where the hell was Lina when I need her? After I finish cramming diapers, wipes, bottles and baby clothes into the bag, I turn to grab Anthony.
"Ah, hello my beautiful baby boy." He was already awake and smiling up at me as I went to pick him up. "How bout we get your brother and get the hell outta here?"
He babbles and coos as I put him in the baby carrier. "Yeah, I like that idea too."
I do the same with Josiah then make my way to the back exit. I can hear the person from before still yelling at Ricky. I'm not exactly sure what they were saying but the words "revenge", "slaughter" and "woman" used very loudly.
Though I couldn't hear their conversation, I could piece two and two together: Ricky had pissed someone off, again, and this person wanted to kill me as vengeance.
"Fucking hell Ricardo, do you not grow tired of this shit?!"