"Keep the fucker here? How the hell am I supposed to do that?" I walk to the dining hall with my fist balled at my sides. The large man guarding the door politely opens them for me and I quickly replace my scowl with a smile.
"Lili! You're here to join us? There's plenty to eat so come sit."
"No that's okay. I ate already and besides, this is all for you. I just stopped by to let you know that Dr. Lee is coming over to get signatures for the birth certificate for the twins."
"Oh, that's so considerate of you. Thank you, Lili."
I look at Ricky from the corner of my eye and see that he hasn't been listening and is still shoveling food into his mouth. Ugh, how can she be with someone who eats like a pig?
"He should be here around 7:30 so until then would you care to look at the nursery?"
She gasps and her eyes light up.
"This house has a nursery?!"
I laugh at her excitement, "I made Carlos have one put in when I found out that you'd be staying here for a while."
She sets her cup down and stands from the table then kisses the top of Ricky's head. "When you finish eating come find us, I want you to see it too."
She rushes out of the room and Ricky makes eye contact with me and mouthed something to me.
"You can't keep her from me."
I shoot him the finger and go after Kaz. She was walking fast and seemed to be bubbling with excitement.
"So, where is it?"
"On the second floor, down the hall and to the right."
"What's it look like?"
"It's a light blue decorated with cute matching cribs, a changing station and a wardrobe."
"Oh how cute!"
She has a large grin on her face that made her look beautiful. I had missed seeing her so excited, she was in such a bad place but it looks like that her situation is slowly getting better.
"Okay, this is it."
I open the door for her and she gasps. Her eyes sparkle and she holds her hand over her mouth.
"Oh Lili, look at this..." She steps inside of the room and walks towards the baby who's babbling and pulling at his socks. "It's absolutely amazing, thank you Lili."
She scoops the boy up and places a kiss on his cheek.
"Don't mention babe."
I gulp hard and begin to fidget with my hands. I was a little bit nervous about what I wanted to ask her, I don't know how to put it in words.
"Um, but there is one thing that's been kind of bothering me lately."
She draws her attention from the small child in her arms and looks up at me.
"It's about you and Ricky... He's been telling me that the two of you plan on moving somewhere and never coming back. Now I don't know if that's true or not but I'd really appreciate you're side of the story."
She sighs and sits down on the floor and plays with the boys hands.
"Ricky and I are finally getting back on track. I admit that he and I have definitely had our problems but I'm willing to try again and if that means moving away then I'm prepared to make that happen."
I join her on the floor and cross my legs.
"But are you sure Kaz? I don't wanna say that I don't respect your decisions but they do make me anxious. You're my best friend and I love you so the last thing I want to happen is to see you hurt by the same man again."
"And I appreciate that Lina, I really do. But I need for you and everyone else to understand that I'm not helpless! I am capable of making my own decisions and I'm ready to face any backlash that come with them."
"But Kazzie-"
"'But Kazzie' nothing!" She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "My whole life I have been lied to, manipulated and used but I've found a way out. What I've seen, what I've lived through and the shit that I survived is nothing compared to the joy and love that I get from him. I'm a mother of two beautiful baby boys now and what I need most is stability."
She pauses and pulls her son closer to her chest and gazes down at him.
"Trust me Lili, I know what I'm getting myself into, but I'm allowed to live in the moment. I'm allowed to make mistakes and not constantly stress over what's to come. My main focus is on my boys. They will always come first."
I nod in agreement with her. I knew that she had a plan. I could tell by the way she had phrased what she said. Although she was smiling, she seemed exhausted but I had no choice but to respect her wishes.
"Oye Lili, what time is Dr. Lee coming again?"
"Oh uh, actually about that..."
Oh fuck. The doctor wasn't coming until next week. I just needed a reason to keep her here.
"Heh." She looks up at me and smiles solemnly. "He's not coming is he?"
"Fuck, no. No he's not."
She cradles the baby in her arms and kisses on his face.
"Look at him. He looks just like Ricky, they both do. But Anthony has his eyes... They're the same shade of hazel that the look golden, but they don't have that darkness about them."
She hands me the baby and goes to grab his brother.
"But I worry for Josiah. His eyes are brown, like my own. They scare me. They reflect that darkness that I fear so much."
"Kazzie, I- How do you know that? They're just babies."
"You remember the premonitions, right?"
I slap my hand over my mouth. I had forgotten about that. I feel so inconsiderate, what an ass!
"Omigod! I'm so sorry, I had completely forgotten about that."
"It's fine. It's just that after the birth of the twins I've been having terrible night terrors."
She visibly shudders and inhales deeply.
"I will do everything in my power to keep Josiah from suffering a fate worse than both me and his father combined."
"Fuck man. That's awful Kazzie."
"Awful or not, I refuse to fail him. I'll do anything to protect my kids. Anything."