He left the room a few hours ago so I've been waiting by myself. I called the only person I could think of and all I can do now is wait. I don't know where I am and my body is an accident waiting to happen.
Being pregnant is definitely something I don't think I care to experience again once this is over. My back aches all the time and my breast are incredibly tender. Not to mention all the food I've been craving, how often I have to pee, and how hard it is to fall asleep with this big belly.
"Don't worry my babies," I rub my stomach. "We won't be here for long."
I hear someone outside the door who I assume is Ricky. I lie back on the bed and turn on my side. I meant what I said before, I want nothing to do with him. At least that's what I have to keep telling myself.
"Oye mami, you still sleep?" I hear him get closer to the bed. The familiar scent of him cologne slowly wafting it's way towards my nose.
"No, I'm not asleep." I answer.
The bed dips as he slides next to me. His hand slightly touching the arch of my back. God, I instantly feel so much more at ease when he's near, I can't stand it.
"Are you hungry? Are your feet hurting? I could order room service and see if the spa's open."
I sit up from the bed and look at him. The expression on his face is genuine and soft, something I had forgotten about him.
"I want to leave. Take me back to where you found me and just go away."
The gentle look on his face disappears and his cold stare decorates his face. "Y'know I really am trying with you Kaz. I've waited for you for months-"
"Oh shut up! I am sick of you using that fucking excuse every goddamn day! What are you trying to do? Make me feel bad for leaving? You trying to guilt trip me into falling back into your arms?!"
I shake my head and get ahold of myself. "I understand that you want to be with your children and I have no problem with that but you crossed the fucking line when you barged into my house, kidnapped me and threatened my life."
He sits there with a strange look on his face that I can't read. "Can you at least tell me why?" His voice is low, filled with sadness and his eyes look glassy. "Why did you leave me? Why couldn't you come talk to me Kaz? What was so wrong about coming to talk to your husband?"
"I..." I trail off, scraping my brain for any solid reason to why I did what I did but nothing comes to mind. "I don't know...I don't know why I left." I sit on the edge of the bed in shock. Why can't I think of anything?! I had so many reasons before but now...Now it's like my mind has been wiped clean. "I was so set on leaving you back then but I don't remember why."
I hear him sigh and sit down beside me. His shoulder gazes mine and it's enough to make my chest tighten. "You left without a reason huh?" He sucks his teeth. "Or maybe it was because you were scared?"
"Scared? Of what you bi-"
"Of a normal life."
I pause for a moment. What does he mean by that?
"Maybe you left because I was pushing you to hard. I mean we were only together for a year before we got married. Then I ended up getting you knocked up." He holds his hand to his face and sighs again. "Soy una persona terrible."
(I am a terrible person.)
I laugh. "Guess that makes two of us."
He suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him. "Let's start over Kaz. Just me, you and our kids. I'm sitting on a load of cash so we could leave here. We could live in a small town where no one knows us...we could be a family."
His eyes sparkle as he says the word family. I know he's being completely honest with me yet I still have doubts. "Ricky I-"
He kisses my cheek and stands from the bed. "No mami, don't answer now. I want you to think it over. I have to step out again so feel free to get room service." He hands me a phone. "And next time you call Lina, don't do it on the hotel phone." With that, he takes his leave.
"Oh my gosh." I cover my face with my hands. It's like I can't think clearly. My head hurts when I think about a life with him. I love Ricky, I always have but he's not right and being this hormonal is fogging up my common sense. "This isn't fair." I say to myself quietly as I wipe away my tears.
I grab the phone he gave me and call him. He picks up instantly. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?" The urgency in his voice warms my chest.
"Have you left the hotel already?"
"No, are you crying? Kaz what's happening?"
"Can you come back? Please?" My voices cracks. "I don't want to be alone right now."
"I'm on my way now."
I hang up the call and put the phone on the dresser. The room door swings open and he stares at me for a moment. His eyes bare into mine. Seeing that they're filled with such pain reminds me of my own. Without hesitating, he crosses the distance between us and holds me. The feel of his warm body tightly holding mine is like a drug. I should have known better. One hug is all it takes for me to forget all the pain and heartache we've been through.
"Ricky," I lift my head from his chest. "I'll go with you. I want to go with you and start over."