After she finishes talking, she closes her eyes and gently rubs her stomach as tears fall down her cheeks.
The pain I've gone through while trying to get to her is nothing compared to what she just said. I stand there, frozen in shock for a moment while trying not to get upset before I respond to her. "They're my kids too, Kaz. What makes you think that-"
"What is wrong with you?" She glares at me like I've lost my mind. "Why do you refuse to see how fucked up you are? I left because I was hurt and scared! I'm only 20 and you expect me to play house with you but you never once thought about what I've wanted!" She sniffles, "How can you be so selfish all the damn time?"
"I'm selfish?! Me?! I put aside everything for you Kaz, I wanted nothing but to see you happy! I didn't know that you felt like we were moving too fast! You should have just told me!" I stop yelling and calm myself down. "And you're not 20. When we went to the courthouse to sign our paperwork I had your birth certificate switched with a different one. We're only two years apart."
She takes a moment to process what I've just told her then laughs in disbelief. "Y'know I didn't mind your possessiveness when we first met but this...this is nothing but sick obsession."
"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart."
I respond without thinking and she lets out another sad laugh and shakes her head. "I can't believe I loved you. We're not even together anymore yet you still try to control my entire life."
I turn towards the wall to hide my face as my eyes begin to water and decide to respond as if I'm not hurt by her words. "Well legally we're still m-married." My voice cracked at little while I was talking but I hope she didn't notice.
"Not for long...I want a divorce."
"You're leaving me?" In that moment the sadness and hurt I was feeling was devoured by rage. "You want to leave me?!" I turn around and see that she's shaking. "Heh, it's like you said before Kaz; I'm obsessed with you. There's no way in holy hell that I'd let you leave me alone, not after I've just found you again. And you can run from me and hate me all you want mami but know this, I'm. Not. Going. Anywhere." I take the car keys from my pocket and toss them to her. "Since you wanna go so desperately there. Take the car wherever you fuckin' want because I know you'll be back." She hesitates to move but when she does, she hurries towards the door. "And Kaz," She stops but doesn't look back at me. "I'll be there for the kids. That much I can do for you."
"Gee, thanks." She answers flatly and open the door. Just as she sets foot outside my mind goes into a furry and I hug her from behind. She doesn't struggle like before but lets me hold her. That's when I notice her tears. This entire time she's been crying and I hadn't even realized it.
"You didn't even want me back Ricky...You wanted me gone." I don't know what she's talking about, so she takes my silence as a sign to keep talking. "You wanted to ship me off when all I wanted was my husband...After being hurt and confused for so long I just- I just left. I went back to my old ways, thought it would make me feel better but no."
She faces me and wipe her tears wipe the back of her hand then places the keys in the palm of my hand. "I became cold and numb to any kind of emotion but when I saw you..." She pauses. "Only one feeling came flooding back to me. Do you know what it was Ricky? It was fear. Absolute terror is all I feel towards you."
She holds out her hands. "Look, I've been shaking this entire time. You once asked if I was afraid of you and at that time I honestly didn't know but now...Now I know. You horrify me."
My thoughts are all jumbled together and it's hard to process all she's just told me. "Listen, the both of us are fucked up in several ways but-"
"But you still refuse to let me go? Is that it? Is that what this entire relationship was to you? I was just another person who you could control with your sweet words and empty promises?" She takes a shaky breath and holds her hands over her face. "You took advantage of me when I was at my most vulnerable and I was too naïve to think about it!"
"Then fucking go!" I yell at her and she snaps her mouth shut. "I gave you the keys so you could get away from here, Kaz. You can move, find a new person and fall in love but I meant what I said. I will never let you actually leave me. I will be there when you have our kids, I'll be there when you need me, and I'll be there when you don't."
"Oh my god..." She holds her hand over her mouth and gives me a pitiful look. "You've lost it."
I cross the distance between us and hold her shivering hand in mine. Her cheeks have flushed and her eyes are red and swollen from her tears. How does she still looks so captivating after all this shit? "I haven't lost it Kazmaria. I'm simply just a man in love." I move her curls from her face and tuck them gently behind her ear.
Her eyes are wide with fear. I touch her bottom lip with my thumb and she quivers. "I really have missed you." I kiss her cheek and she shudders. I hate the thought of her being scared of me but in this moment I couldn't care less. "Don't worry my beautiful wife. This is a new beginning for us."