I was blindfolded and restrained as soon as we left the building. He tugs me behind him and I try my best to keep up without tripping or falling over. We slow down and the sound of a car unlocking echos. He shoves me inside and I fall on the seat. As I lie on the cold leather, my thoughts begin to consume me completely. After hours of driving the car comes to a stop and the door flings open. The cold air creeps into the car and I shiver. He grabs my leg and pulls me from out of the car. Once again, he makes me follow after him but he takes off the blindfold.
I blink a few times and let my eyes adjust to the sudden light and I realize that I have no idea where he's taken me but it looks like someone's home. He knocks on the door and a woman answers. She looks at him and moves out the way and lets him in. No words were exchanged so I'm sure she knew he was coming here, but who is she and how do they know each other? I don't have much time to look at her face because he starts to pull me further inside the house.
As we walk to further into the ladies house, we pass three children sitting in front of a tv with toys scattered all over the floor. They don't even look our way which instantly sets off a red flag. We reach a small door and he twist the knob open then shoves me inside. There's a bed and a small monitor in the corner. The woman who let us in is now dressed in scrubs and then it all hits me: This is his first ultrasound with me.
"I need for you to lie down on the bed please." I climb up and she lifts my shirt. "I'm sorry but the gel will be cold. Other than that, this process is a piece of cake." She smiles sweetly at me but I can't find it in me to do the same. I just lie there and stare at the ceiling. I know he's looking at me but I don't want to look at his face. The monitor comes on and she fixes it to where we can both see it. "Ah there you are." From the corner of my eye, I look at the screen. "They look nice and healthy, but make sure you're not overexerting yourself. Twins are tricky and you're about 21 weeks along so your due date should be around June. Do you have an questions or concerns?"
"Twins?" I ask her but my voice is barely audible. She nods and congratulates us but I don't know how to feel. All the emotions I've been shoving down for the past few months all come to the surface at once and my vision blurs as tears stream from my eyes. I throw my arm over my face and start to cry like a baby.
"Miss? Are you okay?" She touches my arm but he clears his throat and she moves her hand away. "Ah well, let me clean you up and give the two of you some privacy." She wipes off my stomach and the sound of the door opening and closing is the only thing I hear. I continue to weep and pull my legs to my chest while still on the bed.
"Stop crying and sit up." I stop crying but not because he told me too but because I'm angry. "Kaz, sit up." He pulls my arm but I jerk away from him. I don't want to be near him at all. My hands shake as the pillow becomes wet with my tears. "I swear, if I have to tell you again, I'll-"
"You'll what? You'll hurt me? Is that it?" I lift myself from the bed and look him in the face. "Do you want to kill me, huh?! Maybe if I died you finally leave me alone..." The room becomes eerily silent and his eyes are so cold, it's almost as if he were dead. His glare sends shivers down my spine.
"Hehe," He smiles but something about it so unsettling. "You sure said a mouthful didn't ya? I almost thought that you'd forgotten how to speak considering you ain't said a word the whole ride."
'Is he trying to get a reaction out of me?' I take a moment to clear my head before speaking again. "You didn't answer my question."
He sucks in air through his teeth a runs his hands through his hair as if he were overwhelmed. "I don't know." He cakels, "I don't know when it comes to you, baby. One minute I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you like old times but then you open your goddamn mouth and I want to wring your fucking neck until your eyes pop out of your head." He crosses the distance between us and touches my face then grabs a handful of my hair and sniffs it. "Mi hermosa esposa, no puedo decidir si quiero amarte o matarte."
(My beautiful wife, I can't decide if I want to love you or kill you.)
"I'd prefer the latter." I answer honestly and he laughs like a crazed maniac.
"You always were brutally honest Kaz." He lets go of my hair and pats the top of my head. "So what are gonna do about our twins? I like how that sounds! Our twins, our little babies!"
'Is this the real him?' I don't know what to believe anymore and I'm so tired. All I want is to crawl into a hole and die. I can't take this shit anymore but it seems that there is no end to all this. "I don't want this...I don't want to be here with you, I don't want to be yours anymore and I don't want a family with you."