"You may break, you may shatter the vase, if you will, But the scent of the roses will hang round it still. -
Thomas Moore
Katrina took out a key and let herself inside. The heavy black door that matched the pillars and the mansion's tiled roof swung open. She took a step into the foyer and looked around. Ahead of her was a flight of stairs. To her right, the foyer opened into a front parlor and on the left was the living room.Everything was just as she had left it. The cream walls with light grey pillars, the black leather sofas including the dark velvet curtains that grazed the white tiled floor. Every thing was the same as she had left it and still spotless. The cleaning lady and the housekeeper were doing a great job of keeping the house clean. It was a shame though, because it would not remain the same after she was done taking it apart.
Katrina looked around one more time, her thoughts heavy with memories of days that she had spent alone in this very mansion. The very spot that she was standing on right now being the very same that Ryan had dropped on after carrying her oh so graciously into their new home. It was the same place that her delusions of a happily ever after had also come to halt. How she had begged, cried as he walked away to move his things from the master bedroom into a one of the guest bedrooms, one that was farthest away from her and in one evening, in one fell swoop her perfectly ordered life had come crushing down.
What a shock it had been, for all along he had acted like he had been very much for the idea of their union. He had smiled, acted gentle and even complimented her in a way that made her heart flatter. Acting like the perfect fiance he had fooled, but now that she thought about it, all that had only happened in public, the only place he had ever been actually seen with her all through their courtship.
She had thought that he was being thoughtful. Thoughtful of her by staying away like a proper groom through out their wedding planning. On the wedding day he had beamed at her like a bedazzled groom very much in love with his princess who was then walking down the isle. The chaste kiss that she received on her forehead making her think of how considerate he was of her virtue and more so of the older generation that was assembled there that would never be comfortable with a public display of affection.
How foolish she had been not to see it. All the anger and vehemence that he had bottled in deep inside those deep blue eyes of his. Not until it was too late that is and she had nowhere else to run to. Not to her friends or her family who would never believe her considering how good of an act Ryan had put before them. Hadn't she already been advised that marriages were hard work and that a woman should work through all the problems with perseverance? They had called her lucky. To have such an attentive fiance despite their arranged marriage. How wrong those people and even she had been.
That day, she had spent her night in tears. Those same tears became her food for everyday. The accompanying dessert for every meal that she made only to eat alone or have it for thrown down the drain or out with the trash. As if that was not enough, her husband was turning into a perpetual drunk. The only way he got to look at her being through the heavy veil of drunkenness and to avoid interacting, he would either stay out for long hours or sleeping in. Going out one afternoon and coming back the very next morning totally hammered before waking up again to repeat the same cycle with any words traded between them being insults and the tears that gave way when he glared away.
This change in behaviour had confused Katrina to no end even as she tried to figure out what she had done wrong and why he was behaving that way. Hadn't they already broken up? Sure, Malisha had been her friend but she had known him longer. According to her grandmother she and Ryan had been engaged since she was a teenager and despite how abrupt it had all seemed, her father's reassurances and Ryan's sweet caring had won her heart over. So now what had gone wrong? What had she said or expressed that had changed him almost instantly?
She would find out one day after her
friends had abandoned her. Ryan in his drunken state had called her out on her hypocrisy. He had told her of Malisha's pregnancy and how he was threatened to end things with her so that he could marry her, Katrina.
"Oh little princess, everything should always happen your way. Right? Doom on us peasants for trying to be happy. You're are all so spoilt for good things weren't all your toys good enough you had to add our human lives to that collection?" Ryan had told, so drunk, he was hardly standing up. That was when it had dawned on her that Malisha and he had not broken up and somehow she had been the reason why he was not with his child right now. What more Malisha was missing and no one knew anything about her or her family or where she had even come from.
In her guilt Katrina had resulted to staying alone. She deserved it, she had told herself and even accepted Ryan's mistreatment as retribution for her past sins. After all, who could she now tell? Her in laws were aware about it but still they did nothing to aid her and her pride as a Maracheli could not allow her to speak to her family. They would never believe her anyway, those had been Marcus's words, her father in law, seeing that his son Ryan continued to maintained a facade and the perfect image of being the ever doting husband to her.
She shook the thoughts away. She had finally reached her limit and there were certain things that she could no longer continue to allow now that she was pregnant and having this child.
"May be I should just grant him that divorce. Then, he can finally be free of me and I will no longer be the monster that wrecked his life and is now paying for having him chained to me."