"A profusion of pink roses bending ragged in the rain speaks to me of all gentleness and its enduring. -
William Carlos Williams
Ryan removed the suitcase from his car's trunk and looked up to stare at the house that had been for a long time, a symbol of his misery.
"No. That is wrong." He shook his head in denial. Refusing to put blame on another person. He alone had been responsible for his own actions and that said, the source of all his pain and misery had been his own fear and his own cowardice. He acknowledged that he should have been more brave, fought harder to protect her, but then again, she had never needed his protection.
"A General's daughter?" He laughed at the thought. Despite all he had been through, despite all he had feared, he had been the one to wrong her, to harm her and not his father despite all the words and threats he had issued. He, Ryan and not his father, had been the one to break her. He had broken Malisha, but now she was happy. Another thing that he had almost ruined as he once again allowed his fear and his cowardice to get the better of him and lead him in the wrong course of action. To think that another child had been the one to change him. Truly these women had all deserved better than him. They deserved a better man, more better than the one who only brought them tears and sadness.
Ryan did not know if that chapter of his life could ever be cleared, especially in regards to Malisha and her son Thomas, but somehow Hope had seen it fit to give him a fresh start. One in which he would now make sure to give it his best shot. Starting from this point onward he acknowledged that he had a purpose that he alone had to fulfill. A purpose that brought more honour than he deserved. The purpose to be a father and to be a loving husband.
"Are you coming in or what?" Katrina called out from the doorway. Her face stoic as she leaned on the door frame in a pair of dark leggings and long shirt.
"Coming." He beamed at her before carrying the suit case into what would now be his new home.
"You remodelled." He said as he came to step into the foyer. One that was no longer cold and one that almost wiped away the sour memories of their first encounter there.
After a day of forcing smiles and acting like the perfect fiance and the perfect groom, almost five years ago, Ryan had suddenly become tired of the whole thing and therefore he had dropped her. After carrying her past the threshold, he Ryan Thorpe had dropped his beautiful bride on the cold hard floor. How shameful. Now that he could actually think about it, he finally admitted it. His anger had been too great, his emotions frail and repressed for too long. Watching her smile and be happy when he was breaking apart from the inside had driven him to the edge. No longer free and his life no longer his own, Ryan had simply dropped the girl who had trapped him in that forced marriage.
Those were the emotions that had been going through his mind at that time. Watching her cry after him, a mess of white and lace had filled him with so much disgust. How could he have known that just like him his new wife had been a victim of her own father's machinations? He had judged her too harshly and now he would get to spend his whole life making up for it. Not because he was forced to, but because his heart had told him to and he would not have it any other way.
"Yea. Do you have any problem with that?" She was baiting him. Ryan smiled knowing fully well what this woman now had in mind.
"Not at all." He answered truthfully. "I am actually glad. The other look was too...cold." She stared at him assessing him for his truthfulness before ushering him in and towards the set of spiral stairs.
"Yea yea...okay. Please, do come in. Your old room is waiting for you." He nodded, allowing her to lead the way.
"Though I honestly do not know how this will work out. " She said as she stopped to cradle her belly and he instantly knew what she was thinking about.
"No more drink. For you or for me." He said taking her hand into his reassuringly. "Not that you can drink in your condition, but I assure I no longer have any need for that concotion." He was talking about that night they had lost control. She smiled, her cheeks tainted pink as she flushed with embarassment. Her thoughts reeling as she recounted in her own mind the events that had led to the conception of this baby. Although she didn't remember much and she told him so.
"I still can't remember what happened."
"Me either. I do apologize however for the words that I spoke to you that morning. Those I can never forget." She acknowledged him with a nod.
The two then remained silent for a while each lost in their own thoughts before Katrina turned to continue the climb. At the landing of the second floor she turned into the corridor and at the very last door, she stopped and opened it revealing the room that had once been bland with just cream paint but was now a beautiful sight of light grey with navy blue highlights. "I hope you don't mind the change." She said pointing to the grey walls and the navy drapes. The white sofa with navy pillows and the beddings that were a mixture of grey,navy and white. "Your toiletries are in the bathroom and anything else you may need, my room will be right where you left it. So feel free to KNOCK and ask me."
"And here I thought that I could just worm my way into your..." Ryan started with a smile but she cut him quite fiercely.
"Don't you dare finish that sentence."
"I was going to say heart." He grinned and with that he walked in, but stopped before closing the door. "I am cooking dinner. I hope you don't mind having me in your kitchen."
Katrina blinked before looking up at him. Everything that had just happened had taken her by surprise. Had he just flirted with her? Was a man, no her husband flirting now with her? Did it even count as flirting considering that they actually married?
"Hey was it something I said or?" For a moment he began to look worried.
"No no...feel free. It's your house too so you can go anywhere you want. Well anywhere that is not my room that is" she stumbled as she fumbled for words.
"Of course." He smiled, that dazzling smile that told her that things would probably not remain this way for so long.