~~~~~
I gasped.
No way. Imagination ko lang iyon. Iniisip ko siya ngayon kaya ko naririnig ang kanyang boses. He couldn't be here.
Not right now!
Hesitantly, I twisted in my seat to check what I already know. And yes, right there, standing behind me now, was Ysrael himself. At madilim ang kanyang ekspresyon habang nakatanghod siya sa'kin. His lips were set in a thin line and his brow was deeply furrowed, but his eyes were piercing me with a mixture of shock, confusion, anger, and relief that it made my heart thump harder inside my ribcage.
It was clear he heard what Zen and I talked about. He looked the most livid I've ever seen him, and yet I could swear he was the most handsome man present inside this establishment right this moment. Hands down.
Sumikdo ang aking puso.
"Y-Ysrael," mahinahong usal ko kahit sa totoo lang ay hindi ako halos makahinga sa sobrang . . . kaba. Carefully, I stood up and came face to face with him. "Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito?"
He didn't answer my question. Of course. But his eyes did rake my body all over, slowly, leisurely, as if he had all the time in his hands. They traveled, from my face down to my high-heeled shoes, then back up to my exposed calves and knees; to the hem of my dress, up the swell of my hips, to the inward curve of my waist; to my chest that was now coming up and down in quick motions due to my heavy breathing; to my bare shoulders and collarbones; to my neck, my parted lips, my nose, and then finally back up to my eyes, which I was sure were as wide as saucers and panic-filled.
I gulped. It wasn't even his hands that did the exploring but I felt the weight of his blatant assessment like a physical touch. It didn't help that I already knew how those hands actually felt sliding up and down my sides and the naked skin of my back. Gooseflesh erupted on my arms and nape as memories of that night at the club flashed in my head again, without preamble. My toes curled inside my shoes.
Oh god . . .
I was suddenly hit by the staggering realization that I wanted to be able to do that all over again.
To kiss him senseless.
To run my hands across his chest, his arms, his hair, his face.
To press my body to his like I had every right to.
To have his tongue inside my mouth.
To feel like he was claiming me to be his, despite the years, the distance, and the hate he felt for me.
Old version or new version, I wanted to do those things all over again with no one else but Ysrael Gallardi. Again and again and again, and I knew I should slap myself silly for thinking that way, but it was already impossible for me to stop as soon as the thoughts have been planted it my head. Now, with all the inappropriate images filling my head even as the man himself stood right in front of me, how could I still deny that I wanted him back?
My hands clenched into tight fists at my sides. I wanted my Ysrael back, dammit! Bahala nang ayaw niya sa'kin. I'll just want him enough for the two of us.
Pesteng Zen na nagpa-realize sa'kin no'n!
And as if he knew what was going on inside my head, Ysrael's eyes darkened even more and he finally took that one step closer. Now only half a foot separated us from each other, though I would have preferred not a single inch separated us at all . . .
I'm in deep, huge trouble.
"I'll ask you one more time, Arrain," he said again, a burning edge creeping in his low, barely-controlled voice. "Totoo ba ang mga narinig ko?"
Napalunok ako ulit ng isa pang beses. Ni hindi ko kayang salubungin ang naglalagablab niyang mga tingin kaya itinuon ko nalang ang mga mata sa kwelyo ng kanyang suot na gray polo shirt.
Why, oh, why did he have to look good enough to eat everytime we meet unexpectedly like this?
"A-ano, uhm . . ." Tumikhim ako para matanggal ang bara sa aking lalamunan. "W-what exactly did you hear?"
Alam ko nang narinig niya ang lahat ng importanteng detalye. His expression said it all. Still, I wanted to hear it from him.
Dahan-dahang itinaas niya ang isang kamay papunta sa aking mukha para iangat ang aking baba. I had no choice then but to raise my eyes and meet his.
"Enough . . ." he spoke, his thumb setting out to trace the outline of my lower lip, which quivered under the feather-light touch, ". . .to know that you'll willingly come with me if I were to drag you someplace private and do with you whatever the hell I please. Enough to know," he leaned in to whisper in my ear, "you won't even think of stopping me if I were to ravish you right here, right now, in front of all these people."
Very gently, as if it was only a figment of my imagination, Ysrael placed a tiny kiss on my earlobe before pulling away to stare down at me.
My breath was really coming up in short pants now, my eyes falling half-closed.
"Y-you won't dare," I managed to say, my voice embarrassingly unsteady.
His hand that was tilting my face upwards slid down to my jaw, then lower, stopping at the hollow at the base of my neck. His eyes followed the movement of his own fingers, then moved back up to lock with mine.
"You sure? Then why the wild heartbeat as if you're worried I'll really do it?" He lifted an eyebrow. "Should I just take you somewhere more private, then? Though I can't guarantee anymore I'll be a gentleman like the last time you tried to seduce me. You and me alone together a second time is a recipe for disaster . . ."
". . ."
I think I've suddenly lost the ability to process all thoughts coherent at this point. For the life of me, I didn't even understand what he said just now. Oo nga at marunong naman akong mag-Ingles, at lalo nang magaling ako pagdating sa pakikipagbakbakan gamit ang mga salita. I once won the Most Eloquent award during our English Month celebration back in high school. I once led our debate team to our university's seventh consecutive national championship title back in college. And I was always the favorite reporter tuwing nagkakaroon kami ng group activities at kailangang may isang miyembro na magpe-present.
Ako ang member na iyon, at palagi ay nagagawa kong sagutin ang bawat tanong ng aming teacher o depensahan ang mga maling napupuna ng aming professor, kaya sa bandang huli ay nagiging tama ito at nabibigyan pa kami ng mataas na grade. Ng dahil sa'kin. Dahil magaling akong magsalita, magdahilan, magkaila, magpasubali, o magsinungaling kung kinakailangan, lalo na kung sa palagay ko ay matatalo na ako ng kalaban. At hindi pa ako natatalo sa mga ganoong bagay.
Kaya bakit ganito? Bakit . . . sa pagkakataong ito ay tila naging isa akong bobong timang na wala man lang magawa kundi ibukas-sara ang bibig habang tulalang nakatitig sa gwapong mukha ni Ysrael?
The fact that we were in a public place and people could see us standing here like weirdos wasn't even registering in my head properly anymore. The soft, melodic music became an unrecognizable buzz in the background. All I could focus on was the fast thumping of my heart, his fingers feeling the pulse on my throat, and the expression he wore that looked like he wanted to eat me whole.
Or at least, that's how I interpreted the intensity of his gaze.
Shet na malagkit.
Didn't I say before this man was going to put me in danger someday?
Apparently, that day was today.
Hindi na naghintay pa si Ysrael na bumalik ako sa tamang huwisyo. With a headshake and a smirk, he grabbed my hand and hurriedly led me out of there, straight to the parking lot where he suddenly pushed my back onto a sleek-looking pristine white luxury car that screamed, Mas mahal pa ako sa buhay mo kaya wag kang magkakamaling gasgasan ako!
Ni hindi ko ito na-appreciate ng maayos dahil sa biglang lamig na naramdaman ng aking likod dahil masyadong manipis ang tela ng aking damit, lalo pa't gabi na ngayon at masyadong malamig ang hangin. Though the moment Ysrael pressed the front of his body on mine, the heat I immediately felt radiating off of him in waves was enough to chase the cold feeling away, quickly dissipating like mist under the raging sun.
A surprised gasp escaped my lips. Mas lalo naman niyang idiniin ang katawan sa akin, ang mga mata'y nakapagkit sa aking mga labi.
"But then again," Ysrael rasped, his breathing now just as fast and out of control as mine, "I've never shied away from disaster if it meant getting to let you know what I really feel. Wala pa rin talagang nagbago. Ikaw pa rin, Arrain. Hanggang ngayon."
Then he pressed his lips to mine.
-----
Just like the last time, nothing could compare to the master-level skills of this kissing monster.
Ysrael continued to kiss me like he'd been parched for years in a vast desert and I was the hidden oasis of clean, pure water he accidentally stumbled upon. I heard his deep groan of satisfaction when I raised my head even more to grant him better access, and that low vibrating sound was an electric shock sent straight to that part of my body that was begging for attention the most. I squeezed my thighs together, aware of where this could lead to, yet not wanting to make this stop.
At the back of my mind, that tiny, tiny part that still worked somehow, I was amazed how he could make me feel this way even though it was only an all-lips kiss—he hasn't even commanded his tongue to take action, and yet I was already melting like cheese inside an overheated oven. Paano pa kaya kung . . .
Oh, I'm definitely not stopping this to find out.
Tama siya. Wala akong balak pigilan siya ano man ang gusto niyang gawin sa'kin ngayon. Ang tanging nais ko, ay panindigan niya ang pagpukaw sa mga damdaming matagal ko nang ibinaon sa limot at pagpapanggap. Wala akong pakialam kahit hindi man kumportable ang aking likod sa mariing pagkakasandig sa pintuan ng sasakyan. As long as I'm finally getting what I've been longing for these past few weeks. Ysrael's drugging, addictive kisses.
Nothing could deter me from taking it all.
"Mmm," mahina kong ungol nang maramdaman kong pumulupot sa aking bewang ang isa niyang kamay habang ang isa ay nakasuporta sa gilid ng aking ulo upang ayusin ang pagkakaanggulo niyon at maayos niya akong mahalikan. Damn. Everywhere on my body was on fire. All he had to do now was deepen the kiss with his skillful tongue like he'd done before.
Then I'd completely surrender to him.
"Damn!" bulalas ni Ysrael saka bigla nalang akong inilayo sa kanya gamit ang dalawang kamay sa magkabila kong balikat.
My eyes flew open and found him staring at me, his eyes dark and unfocused, his lips glistening wet, and his chest rising and falling unevenly. Magulo na rin ang kanina'y maayos niyang buhok.
Oh my. Kagagawan ko ba iyon?
"What's wrong—" I started to ask.
"Get in the car," utos niya sa nagtitimping boses saka binuksan ang pintuan para sa'kin. Nang hindi ako kumilos sa sobrang pagtataka ay hinaklit niya ang aking braso at pinukol ako ng nakakapanindig-balahibong tingin. "Sweetie, you better do as I say if you don't want your clothes coming off in the parking lot. I'm using the last of my willpower for your dignity's sake, so please, try to cooperate with me, even just this once! Get in!"
Napanganga ako saglit ngunit kalaunan ay natawa na rin. Seryoso talaga siya. I pressed my lips together though, and said instead, "All right, all right. Geez! Ang mood swings ng taong 'to, ang tindi!"
But I can't wipe the ridiculously huge, cheshire cat smile off my face as I watched him round the car until he got in the driver's side.
Pinanood ko siya habang kinuha ang kanyang phone mula sa bulsa at may tinawagan.
"Hello, Tita! I'm really sorry but I had to leave first. Emergency. Pero wag kang mag-alala, tatawagan ko si Gil para sunduin ka diyan. If you want, you can order as much desserts as you want. Just put it on my tab, I really have to go. Bye!"
Then he made another phone call to who I assume was the one called "Gil."
Noon ko palang naalala na may kasama rin pala ako sa resto. Oh my gosh! Si Zen!
"Uh, Ysrael, yung kasama ko pala kanina . . ." I spoke when he was finished with the second call, putting my hand on the door handle and preparing to open it. "I can't leave him there. Baka magtaka iyon kung saan na ako napunta—"
"Let him think what he will. I don't care. You're mine tonight," was his casual and straight-to-the-point reply that had me gripping the handle tightly and squeezing my thighs together even tighter.
Frack! What was he doing to me!
Narinig ko ang pag-click ng auto-lock ng mga pintuan. Seconds later, the car came to life and without another word, we left the establishment at a hundred kilometers per hour.
I bit down on my lip hard to distract myself from the dangerous thoughts floating here and there.
Although we drove in absolute silence, it was getting harder and harder for me to breathe. Lalo na nung lumiko kami sa isang pamilyar na daan at bumungad sa harap namin ang isang pamilyar na gusali.
Of course, it would be familiar. It was where I went home to every night from work. For a moment, I was confused. And a little disappointed.
Home? He left his tita and forced me to leave Zen behind just so he could take us both home? After what happened at the parking lot? Yun na iyon? Talaga? Uuwi na kami? Wala nang continuation?
Aba't! Nasaan ang hustisya roon!
Pilit kong itinatago ang pagkadismaya habang nakasakay kami pareho sa elevator paakyat sa 12th floor kung nasaan ang aking unit. Akala ko ay dederetso na siya sa penthouse ngunit ano'ng gulat ko nang sumabay siya sa'kin paglabas.
"What?" he asked when I just stood there shooting him a half-frustrated half-questioning look outside the elevator doors. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"What are you doing?" balik-tanong ko. "This isn't your floor, Mr. Gallardi."
"I know. But you and I have some unfinished business to sort out." He cocked his head to one side. "Bakit, gusto mo sa penthouse tayo?"
"H-hah?"
"Just lead the way, Arrain, if you don't want to give the CCTV operators something to gossip about."
Ah. Sabi ko nga. Agad naman akong tumalima. We stood outside my unit, and the moment I swiped my keycard on the scanner and the door opened, Ysrael pushed me inside and, to my complete shock, carried me bridal style towards the bedroom.
Naturally, I squealed and thrashed in his arms.
"Hoy! Ibaba mo ako, baliw! Ano ka ba! Bakit ka ba nangbubuhat na lang basta-basta, ha? How dare you! Put me down! I can walk, Ysrael, dammit!"
He threw me down. In the middle of my bed.
At sunod siyang sumampa roon saka dahan-dahang gumapang papunta sa'kin. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.
"W-what do you think are you doing this time?"
He smirked, his eyes twinkling in the dim lighting. "Unfinished business."
Pagkasabi niyon ay ikinulong niya ang aking mukha sa kanyang mga palad at marubdob na sinakop ang aking mga labi.
My sigh of contentment was with pure bliss. Ahhh. May continuation naman pala, eh. Now this was more like it.
My arms automatically reached around his neck to pull him closer until I fell back on the bed with him on top of me. Hindi naputol ang halik. Bagkus, mas lalong lumalim pa iyon dahil sa panibagong posisyong ito.
Ysrael's hands were too quick to remove my dress. By the time I realized it, I was only in my matching black underwear with lacy pattern. His look of pure male appreciation washed over me like a tide. With his arms on either side of me to support his own weight, he lowered his head and planted a kiss right smack on my belly button. My embarrassing tortured gasps could not be contained. Then he trailed soft kisses lower, and lower, and lower . . .
Malapit na siya kung saan ko pinakagusto siyang maramdaman. Almost there, almost there, almost there, I kept chanting to myself in anticipation-slash-impatience. Ngunit isang pulgada nalang sana ay huminto siya. Ysrael raised his head to look at me.
"Do you really want me back, love?"
That stopped me short.
"A-ano?"
Darn. Can't he see we were in the middle of something? Kailangan talaga ngayon niya pa ungkatin iyon?
"I'm asking you if you really want me back, Arrain. It's a simple 'yes' or 'no' question. Gaano ba kahirap sagutin?"
Urhhhh! Persistent biatch!
I let out an exasperated breath and rolled my eyes for my own benefit. "Narinig mo na naman siguro ang mga sinabi ko kanina, di ba? Why do you have to ask me again?"
"I want you to say it to my face, that's why." Naging biglang maamo ang kanyang mukha. "Can't you? Pretty please?"
Pretty please?
Pffft! At talagang nagawa pang magpa-cute at a crucial time like this?!
Bwesit.
Wala na. Unti-unti nang nawawasak ang lahat ng pantasya at ilusyon ko ngayong gabi. Mukhang hindi pa pala maisusuko ang Bataan. It irritated me, though, because rather than relief I only felt an abysmal loss and heavy despair.
Ngayon sino'ng di nagco-cooperate?!
Slowly, and with a growing sense of humiliation starting from the pit of my stomach and spreading all throughout the rest of my body, I raised myself up using one elbow and pulled at the comforter to cover my half-nakedness using my other hand. Only then did I let myself look back at the darned man who dared to leave me hanging like this.
Gone was the passionate man who was ready to "sort out" the "unfinished business" seconds ago. In his place was the Ysrael Gallardi I was more familiar with. Earnest, transparent, and eyes full of softness as he gazed down at me. Just like six years ago. Only this time there was a mixture of lust in there that hadn't been completely tamped down, though clearly he had better control over his own desires than me.
Most of all, he called me the endearment he used to call me before. Love. Honestly, imbes na kiligin ay gusto ko lang siyang sipain sa mukha niyang hindi maitago ang nakakalokong ngisi sa mga labi.
He got me this time. He got me good.
"Well," untag niya nang walang makuhang sagot mula sa'kin, "whenever you're ready to bare your heart and soul to me, my naughty little Arrain, you know what to do."
Sinundan ko siya ng masamang tingin patungo sa aking nightstand. He took something from his jeans pocket and placed it there on the top. Tapos binalingan niya ako ulit at niyuko, saka walang pangambang kinintalan ng isang halik ang aking mga labi, di man lang alintana ang madilim kong anyo habang nakamasid sa kanya.
And with one final wink, he slipped outside of my room, fully-clothed and triumphant, leaving behind a disgruntled me, a square velvet box that was open to reveal a familiar piece of jewelry, and a silver plastic card that had the golden letter P embossed on its upper right side corner.
Why that bastard.
Nagmamaktol na bumaluktot ako ng higa sa magulong kama at nagpagulong-gulong doon.
Unfinished business, huh? So iyon pala ang ibig niyang sabihin at hindi ang iniisip ko.
Hmph!
That sly devil, stoking the fire within me but not even bothering to put it out! Impit akong napatili sa nananahimik kong unan.
It was going to be a long, long night.
~~~~~