Chapter 37 - 2.12

Daniel Heinrich knocked on the door of the small loft he rented for Velika O'Sullivan, which had been empty most of the time, and finally, she made the use of it. The view from the window was lovely, could see an old, narrow but beautiful alley, the turquoise-colored brick boulevard was telling stories from back in time, when the pale, gentle sunlight hit through the clear window, covered the thick, grey woolen mat in bright yellow, everything seemed peaceful and tender. He made this place his safe house right at the spot, he loved the view, the sunlight, they reminded him the life he had before when he was simply a teenager and thought of nothing but searching for fun, he almost forgot he was young once. Even though he offered this loft to Velika O'Sullivan as a favor, he never wanted to give it up, this was the place he hid his memories, he could sit in that old armchair which half of the paint was already faded for the whole day, looking through the window and sank in his memory. And when he left, he had to put his past behind like it was never real.

Velika O'Sullivan opened the door and let him in without a word, she was gaunt, tired, and exhausted. She handed him the tea, he took it but then place the cup on the table, once again he sat down in the old, wooden armchair in front of her. The word 'home' was floating on his mind.

"Where's Nikki?" She looked behind him.

"He can't be here, he has to work." Said him quietly, "Only me, why? You are not happy to see me?"

"Don't get me wrong." Velika O'Sullivan gave him a smile, a pale, fake smile as she was worn out, "I'm really glad you came, even I know you came to talk about business."

"Leontes got O'Sullivan," Daniel Heinrich frowned, the gaunt look on Velika O'Sullivan worried him, "She used him as a decoy so that you'll go rescue him."

"Now it's real drama," Velika O'Sullivan sighed, "Either way will put me on a dilemma."

"Yes." Daniel Heinrich bit his lips, "If you saved him, then I'm the mole, she'll use this to charge me guilty later when she finished using me. If you didn't save him, well, then he's in trouble. Your relationship always bothers Astoria Leontes."

"Dean will get his way out, Astoria needs him as her ally, she wouldn't touch him," She suddenly touched his cheek, her fingertips were cold like ice, "But you, my dear, you are in danger, no matter I save Dean or not, you'll always end up as the victim, that's part of her plan. She wants you dead, I bet you know some dark secrets of her."

"Let me ask you a question," He said pensively, "Do you trust Dean O'Sullivan?"

She narrowed her dark eyes, attempted to speak but failed, after several tries, she finally said: "No I don't. But I know him well, he wants to be the biggest winner, and he will be."

"You are implying he's with us?" He asked.

"No," She shook her head, "He's only with himself, but for now he would choose us over Astoria since she's the one in his way and has the absolute power. Also, he is extremely self-centered, he's always firm about what he believes so we can make use of that."

'Dean O'Sullivan doesn't know Velika O'Sullivan well, obviously.' Thought Daniel Heinrich victoriously.

"Then you have to save him." Daniel Heinrich made up his mind, even it was a tough decision, risking his own life, but he couldn't find another way, "He has to know, and affirms that we will collaborate with him, if he was as good as you said, he will keep us from getting in trouble."

"Are you sure?" She questioned with concern, "You are putting yourself on the blade, aren't you always try to stay safe?"

"Yes, but I need to blend into the situation," He sighed, "We are tied on the same string now, and there's no way out, all I can do is go with it."

"I'm sorry I put you in the game." She said with sorrow.

"It's not your fault," He said slowly, with complicated expression in his eyes, "I volunteered."

They both stopped talking, and Velika O'Sullivan looked away. It was twilight, the orange sunlight painted the pale, grey sky with light, warm color, like a story, started dreadful but had a genial ending. Velika O'Sullivan hoped her story had a heartwarming ending too, but that was a goal scarcely had any chance to achieve.

After hiding under the cover normal life, which was unreal to her, she returned to the field she was familiar but as well as strange too. She surprisingly discovered Daniel Heinrich was a kind-hearted man that had almost the same tragic experience when he was young and she presumed that was the reason he threw away his consternations and fight along with her, they were both amiable people that simply wanted ordinary lives but were mistakenly situated in the field they never even dreamed of, they were forced to become something they never wanted to. And what more affected her was, Dean O'Sullivan, the man she loved and hated at the same time had come back to her life, became someone she could barely recognize. It was all like an infinity sign with no end, she traveled around and came back to the origin point again. She loved him with all her heart once upon a time, when he was everything to her, but she was positive that she would never go back to him again, and she wouldn't trust him. Today's Dean O'Sullivan wasn't the man she could rely her life on anymore.

"This has been bothering me for a while," Said Daniel Heinrich slowly, "Do you love Dean O'Sullivan?"

She seemed confused at first, didn't know why he asked this out of the blue. But he had that sincere look in his beautiful eyes. So, she took a deep breath and said:

"No, I don't love him. I loved him before, but not anymore, I wish nothing but be done with this crazy relationship with him. I want to be free."

Daniel Heinrich wasn't surprised, he knew that this was the true answer. If she said that she was still in love with Dean O'Sullivan, then that would be troubling him.

Then he asked himself, why would he be troubled? He couldn't have any affection towards her, his instinct told him that she was hiding so much more than she told him. There must be a reason that she would do anything to finish this so-called war. Yes, she did tell him about her past, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. He was sure that there were so many more people that she had been involved with and had a connection with. She knew all of his stories, and he wondered if she was acquaintance with the people in his story too.

"Then why do you still wear your wedding ring?" He asked, with a slight bitterness in his tone that he didn't notice, but she did.

"To make sure he thinks that I'm still madly in love with him." She said, with a shrug, "I told you that Dean is self-centered, he would believe this most obvious lie. Even though I know he will find out shortly. It is good for now."

"O'Sullivan, I have a suggestion." Daniel Heinrich switched the topic. He had this odd feeling again, the kind of feeling that he couldn't describe like he hated the fact that she wore her wedding ring and that she was still married to Dean O'Sullivan, that ruthless, selfish man.

"Name it." She turned back and looked into his eyes, saw the mixed expression, then her heart dropped, or more like stopped beating for a second, she could tell something was going on in the air, something she never dared to think of.

Human emotions are just genuinely strange.

"Let's go get a drink," Said him delightful, "Before your face shows up on all the papers and that old freak comes alive again."

"Sure." She nodded, "Why the hell not?"

Daniel Heinrich smiled, truly from his heart. She noticed he had these little wrinkles hanged the corners of his eyes when he smiled, which made him captivating. She never saw him smile like this before, never, and she was pleased. It was time to get to know more about Daniel Heinrich, the German she had known for years but never really talked to before she reserved herself from him, but after she told him her story, she felt he was more and more likely became her friend, or something more than a friend, she wasn't sure, she hadn't had this kind of subtle affection after Dean O'Sullivan left, like the part that she locked to herself was once again unlocked to someone else.

However, she knew that she couldn't, as much as she wanted to, her sense told her that she should stay away from Daniel Heinrich. She couldn't tell him what she had been keeping to herself, she couldn't tell him how much she hated being in the situation where she was. She knew that she should never be attached to him, and she hoped, even to her dismay, that Daniel Heinrich would never be attached to her.

Would she ever love Daniel Heinrich? Yes, she would, but she shouldn't.

For years, she believed blindly that Dean O'Sullivan was the only person that she could have feelings for, she believed they were made for each other, they shared the same worldview, same towards everything, he helped her out during her most difficult time, so she devoted herself to him, she supported whatever he decided to do, loved him, obeyed him, he was her entire world. Now when he re-entered her life, she started to realize she was nothing but his willing victim. Dean O'Sullivan was smart, he could guess her thought, and she was such an innocent, simple person, she got married at the age of 18, had no prospect of dating others, perhaps that was the reason she convinced herself Dean O'Sullivan was her only love and kept his last name throughout these years. She asked herself if she ever truly loved him. Perhaps she did, at the beginning of their relationship. Then, she depended on him, did whatever he asked her to do. Probably she was afraid to be left alone again, the fear of being lonely haunted her. Or, more like her insecurity of believing that she didn't desire to be cared for by anyone in this world.

The toughest people can break down easily when they encounter their insecurities, regardless of them knowing that those are nothing but irrational fears.

So, she accepted Daniel Heinrich's offer for a drink.