I am finally here, in my Reiki attunement class. I am 15 minutes late for my attunement and nervousness is visible on my zombie face.
Though I am focusing on my attunement ceremony instead of the nightmare that I had last night but still I am not able to feel relieved.
The sense of fear and insecurity is keep coming back to me. Slightest sound is making me jump right now. But no I have to stand stronger.
Once I am done with this attunement ceremony I am going to heal this nightmare and the fear and insecurity coming from this nightmare.
The Reiki Master call upon my name. I am damn nervous about it. I was fine initially but after last night my thoughts are not in place.
I enter the room and sit down on a comfy chair. The leather chair is so comfortable that I will sleep immediately.
Room has a cozy atmosphere. Sages are burning. room is dark with dim red light. There is the fragrance of sandalwood and frankincense incense in the room.
I am already feeling relaxed. The master is telling me to be comfortable, little if she know I am already enough comfortable.
She is standing behind my back and asking me to close my eyes. I do as she said.
As I close my eyes, darkness is blurring my vision.
Oh No! I am feeling like I am back in my worst nightmare from last night. It's dark everywhere with pin-drop silence.
Panic has started to rise in my chest. My breathing is getting slower. I am about to open my eyes but suddenly a hand rest upon my right shoulder.
I am suddenly feeling relaxed and calm. The palm is warm and giving me soothing vibrations.
Now I got it, it's the hand of the Reiki Master.
The fear which was rising in me has started to go back. I guess she has sensed my panic and fear.
I hear a sweet voice coming through my ears, "calm down."
It's the master's voice. I am taking the deep breaths to calm my increased heart beat. She is guiding me through the ceremony. I am feeling relax now.
She is saying if I fall asleep during the ceremony that won't be an issue. Well I am glad to hear that after all sleep is what I need the most.
It's been around 10 minutes since the ceremony started. I feel myself sinking into the sleep, a deep sleep.
The voice of Reiki master is fading as I fall asleep. Flashes of white light are making me uncomfortable. As I try to get over with these flashes I see the same white light at some distance that I saw last night.
Wait! Am I back to that dream again? Reiki master told me that during the attunement ceremony I will see the light and can also feel some vibrations. I should not get scared at that time because it will be the part of my attunement.
Does that mean the white light that I saw last night was this same light and that's why it saved me?
My head is spinning with thoughts. I approach the white light. It has the same sparkles that healed me in my dream. As I step into that light, my whole body started shaking. I am not liking this feeling.
I want to go out, I want to open my eyes. But why I am not able to do that?
Damn! I am stuck, I don't know what should I do even though it's the part of this ceremony but it's reminding me my nightmare.
I am not moving no matter how hard I try. I was about to cry but suddenly the white light starts shining brighter.
It is so bright that my eyes are not able to handle this. I am feeling something is coming out of me.
As I look down on the ground, there is a black water coming out from my body. It feels like the white light shower is washing off all the toxins from my body.
It's a good thing but right now in this moment I am feeling afraid. I don't know what to trust.
Suddenly I hear a familiar voice again. It's my Reiki master. Oh thank God!!
She is asking me to hold up. I am having some sort of negative energies surrounding me that's why my attunement ceremony is getting more intense than usual.
She is asking me to believe on white light and universe. They won't harm me. I start taking deep breaths and close my eyes.
After few moments, the sense of fear and anxiety has started to reduce.
I open my eyes again in this vision and see that all the black water has gone. The white light is still showering on me and a black smoke coming out of my body now.
I guess this is the same negative energy the master was telling me about. Instead of interfering with the process, I let it happen.
I feel more calm and lighter now. The black smoke has stopped coming out from body. It means the negativity has gone finally.
Something is changing. The white light shower is no more showering over me instead it's flowing inside of me. I can feel it in my nerves.
I hear the Master's voice again, "you can come back now. Open your eyes dear."
As I open my eyes I realize I was crying. Tears are rolling down my cheeks.
Reiki Master is looking at me tenderly. She says that the ceremony is completed and now I am attuned to energy.
Later that day--------
I am sitting in my room after a refreshing bath. The Reiki master told me to do some meditation before going to sleep. By this I will be able to feel the universal energy flowing through me.
Even though I am so excited to do this but at the same time I am afraid of having that same vision.
I am not sure if I should do this. After a lot of thinking I decide to skip today's meditation and directly go to sleep. I will do this tomorrow with a fresh mind.
I fall asleep immediately after an exhausting day but I am back to an empty space. It feels like an endless room with no furniture.
I am trying not to panic after all it's not dark this time. As I take a step forward, I see a beautiful sparkly golden light filling the room.
It's so beautiful but hey wait! As I look at myself, I am glowing with that same golden glow.
I have never looked this beautiful. As I started to relax in the warmth of that golden light, someone whispers in my ears, "you are safe here and you can sleep without fear."
After hearing this I fell asleep in a deep loving sleep.