Questions we all have questions, I've tried so many times for answers. Answers yes we all need answers, but somehow I can't seem to see it. Where is it? even though it may be in front of my sight, I can't see shit and it's giving me a fright. Fuck it just constantly feels like I'm loosing all my might, it's driving me insain to the point I can't breathe! Why can't I just leave all of this shit behind, move past the bad and just rewind. But I know I can't because I have a responsibility and you have one too, I try to fight to see truth but all I can see is pain, lies, words that scar and fists that make you bleed. No matter how much you pleed for it to stop, you have only tears left to mop. My anxiety pokes at me day after day warning me to fear what's ahead, fearing I'll lose all if I don't take a stand. But I'm frozen to my spot woundering, overthinking of what move I'd make, or would it be my last until the point it's to far ahead in time? Or I'd be to late to make my next move.
I fear constantly, I wounder constantly when will this all end. More then questions I always over think my heart tells me to be careful but my mind tells me they'll leave if you don't stay im lost in a delema I'll be hated even though I know I'm not needed or wanted I still feel like maybe just maybe I can fix things clear all the pain and just be happy for once but no I know nothing is impossible but i can't just expect people to change or things to change if no one is Willing to see to admit to improve
But am I not willing to improve either 😔 I'm no better I say I see things clearly but I honestly don't I'm depressed confused and most of all angry I'm upset at the world for not being the shield to pull me through because I might just fall I'm the only one keeping myself standing and o don't know when it'll last because I might just give up the promise I made to god I'm holding myself so I'll never break it because this promise means so much to me it has nothing to do with pride or my beliefs I just know that if I give up to soon all of this will follow me to the next world where I'll most likely have to face worser situations and besides I'm not the only one going through shit even though it feels like it
Sometimes I fall so low it's hard to pick my feet up sometimes I just can't see so clear that all that has become of me I feel so empty something inside of me forces me awake nightmares of losing the ones closest to me burn through my mind making my stumic turn