Once the party was over, they all decided to crash in the hotel. Each getting their own rooms, they separated for the night, however Alisha still felt restless. She decided to leave and called a cab so that her friends would have a ride in the morning. She was also too drunk to drive (don't drink and drive kids).
"Could you take me the Peaks?" The cab-driver nodded and they drove away.
As she sat in the cab and watched the lights glide by, making lines like roads made from lasers, she touched the glass and the lines. She began humming a song she had heard in her last life and brought the window down. Her hand lay outside as she made waves with her palm, and she thought, if only I could always be this free. However, even in her freedom, she felt trapped. She hated the itching feeling of the seat and the way the wind blew her hair, she hated the complete lack of control and the random unknown future that lay ahead of her.
"We've arrived, ma'am." She paid the money but asked him to stay nearby. He nodded, however they both knew he would leave if he had to. The Peaks were a set of empty hills, a picnic spot adored by many. She had been here with her mother when she was younger. Her mother's family had joined them too. They all sat and basked in the sunshine, all of their picnic rugs laid out, whilst she sat under a tree, alone. Her mother had told her not to move from there and that she should be grateful for being allowed to come. Her mother had been kicked out by the relatives, all of whom hated Alisha, however it didn't bother the girl too much. She only cared about her mother.
The Peaks are surrounded by a river, so a bridge needed to be crossed to get to them, however, if someone was pushed off a hill, they would tumble into the river. Thus, kids usually couldn't play on the Peaks. Alisha met her cousin Rovena for the first time that day, and it was clear that in her childish attitude, Rovena hated that Alisha might be prettier than her. However, the child decided to trick Alisha to think otherwise. Alisha was ecstatic that she might get along with a cousin, however it literally went downhill when Rovena pushed Alisha down the hill. Alisha screamed as she tumbled down, she passed by her mother and tried to grab her, however her mother flicked her away. "Mama, please no!" She had screamed as she slid down the steep hill. She had managed to twist her body, however her speed didn't let her stop, so she slid straight into the cold water.
The rivers were icy that time of the year, and though her family didn't move, many spectators came down. However, no one got into the water, they all simply stared as the girls tumbled in the water, trying to gasp for air. Finally, a man ran down and jumped into the water, he grabbed the child and took her to the edge and performed CPR. As Alisha regained consciousness, she hugged the man, crying and thanking him.
Her mother came down, finally, and asked for forgiveness for her daughter's misbehavior. "No, Rovena pushed me down the hill, Mama!" Alisha explained, however she only received a glare. The man suddenly grabbed Alisha from her mother.
"What happened, sweetheart, don't be scared." She looked into his kind eyes and told him what had happened, even pointing out her cousin. However, her mother grabbed her and slapped her, in front of the crowd.
"How dare you lie! Apologise to your cousin and everyone here! This child, always lying!" She yelled.
"I'm not lying, Mama, please listen fo-" Slap. Again. The crowd grew silent, a small child grabbed his mother's leg tightly. Alisha's small, trembling body fell to the ground, as her consciousness slowly grew dimmer. However, the cold feeling as the adrenaline went away kept her awake. The burning sensation on her cheeks helped too. She felt the arms of the man around her, protecting her as they lifted her up.
"I saw that little girl push her, actually. I was asking to see whether your daughter would lie or not, and to see why her own mother wasn't helping her as she slid down. She even grabbed you. Honey, are you okay?"
She nodded, but she began crying again. "I'm cold, sir, could I please get warm?" She smiled and he nodded. He took her up, where a woman and two children looked at her worriedly. The woman took her to get changed and helped her. She was so cold that she needed help changing. However, the woman gasped as she saw the marks on her body.
It must be realised that at this point, Alisha thought that a mother hitting her child was normal. It was a way the mother could show her kid how much she loved her. Alisha's mother had been frozen in shock and had even tried to yank Alisha out of the man's arms, however she was quickly held back by other people. They all were shocked to see the young child get slapped and the crowd's animosity towards her had grown.
"Darling, where did these marks come from?" The lady asked, kindly.
"This one was when I got ninety-nine on a test instead of a hundred, this one was when I spilled milk and this one was when I wore the same colour as mum when we went out. This one was when a man came into our house and I greeted him, it was done with her cigarette!" Alisha chirped happily.
"Why are you so happy about these marks?" she asked, concerned.
"They're signs that Mama loves me, of course! She said that I'm not supposed to show people how much she loves me, and it hurts sometimes, but she said that the more it hurts, the more her love for me grows!" Alisha's smile made the lady's heart feel faint. However, the tears on her face that kept falling when she told her made her wonder if, deep down, Alisha knew that she was wrong.
"Don't you have marks too?" The child had asked.
"No, no I don't." The lady answered, kindly. However, Alisha never gave her name, and her mother burst in soon after and grabbed Alisha. She glared at the lady, however she received a much harsher glare. "Give me that child!" She had shouted at the woman. Alisha still remembered that old lady and the kind man. However, she remembered that her relatives and mother drove away quickly after, and they had never managed to find her.
It was two in the morning and Alisha cried at the water's edge. She had made her way down and was skimming rocks on the surface. She could barely see because her tears had clouded her eyes, but she remembered the first hug she had ever gotten clearer than her vision. It was from the man, he kept cooing and telling her that it would all be alright. She was safe. And for the first time in her life, she believed someone. Maybe she shouldn't have, but she would wait for him to rescue her everyday after that. She still remembered that the lady had told her it wasn't normal and that she had to get away. Alisha couldn't believe her. She had to choose to ignore her statements.
"Mama, why were so mean to me?" She sobbed into the wind. That night, Alisha slept outside her home with two deep cuts in her shins. She almost bled to death before her mother took her to the hospital. Alisha lied and everyone believed her. She said she was being bullied by some hooded kids, and no one questioned her decent looking mother. She wished someone had, she wished someone had taken her away. No one did.
"I wish you had loved me, Mama." However, how could someone who couldn't love herself love a child? Alisha had decided on that day, that she would never love her mother again. However, she broke that promise everyday until she was twelve and finally left. She went from one cage to another.
She sang a song about heartbreak into the wind, fuelled by the salty roads on her face. The wind caressed through her hair and clothes as she lay on the steep hill and stared at the lake. Hours passed, however her eyes remained open, staring straight ahead and blinking once every couple minutes. The sun rose on her second visit to the Peaks, perhaps her last.
"I wonder if I'll ever meet them again." The people that had saved her and given her the drive to live, even if it was just another day, the day moved to the next. Her hope rising and falling everyday. Yet, she never saw them again.
She still remembered how cruelly her relatives treated her mother and her on the way home. Her grandmother lectured and put down her mother while her aunties told her that she was truly disappointing. Her cousins pinched her and hit her the entire ride. Her mother's expressions didn't change until she reached home and the razor came out.
She had fought her mum that night, screaming and yelling while running from her. However, she was small, her feet and arms were small, she was too slow. Her mother had grabbed her by the feet and made the two slashes, the scars still existed on her shins. "You're not doing this out of love!" She had screamed as her shins bled. The blood had clotted only hours after, since she had been moving around too much. She had to grab a blanket and pillow and drag them outside the house and sit on the front porch. They lived in a very desolate neighborhood, so she never had the chance to meet other kids her age. She hadn't ever been able to ask someone if their parents did the same to them, she hadn't known anyone that didn't receive her treatment until she met the kind lady and man. Her sobs echoed through the empty street and her blood dyed the grass around her. That night, she decided that she would scream and fight every time her mother tried to hit her. She would never stop fighting, and she never broke that promise.
"Alisha, we're going to hospital. Tell them you were bullied by some hooded people and felt too ashamed to tell me. You don't want to enter foster care, trust me." Upon hearing about the hospital, Alisha's heart fluttered for a second and her thoughts ran into the wall labelled 'Mama loves me', and perhaps her mother had loved her but the love wasn't one Alisha ever wanted.
Looking back, her life was rather tragic. A terrifying childhood, terrifying marriage, loveless relationship with her father and a dependency on drugs to help her get through the day. "I want to leave it all." Her only wish, the only one she had had for her entire life. She just wanted to leave everything and everyone behind. However, she had people she could lose now, her lovely sister, friends and even her father. She watched as the golden sun rose over the horizon, the Peaks were truly beautiful. No, it was the sun-rise that was beautiful, the Peaks were just hills. However, in that moment, to Alisha, it was the Peaks that were beautiful. Her first experience of love was here, in her mind it was also the final experience of real love. It wasn't, she had love all around her, however she was too broken to believe it wasn't pity.
This rang true for many broken children, unable to trust and unable to accept that they could be loved. She got up, it was time to return to her life.