1 The memer knew Eve his wife. She conceived, and gave birth to Cain, and said, "I have gotten a memer with Shrek's help."
2 Again she gave birth, to Cain's brother Abel. Abel was a keeper of memes, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
3 As time passed, Cain brought an offering to Shrek from the memes of the ground.
4 Abel also brought some of the firstborn of his memes and of its meme potential. Shrek respected Abel and his offering,
5 but he didn't respect Cain and his offering. Cain was very angry, and the expression on his face fell.
6 Shrek said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why has the expression of your face fallen?
7 If you do well, won't it be lifted up? If you don't do well, sin crouches at the door. Its desire is for you, but you are to rule over it."
8 Cain said to Abel, his brother, "Let's go into the field." While they were in the field, Cain rose up against Abel, his brother, and game ended him.
9 Shrek said to Cain, "Where is Abel, your brother?"
He said, "I don't know. Am I my brother's keeper?"
10 Shrek said, "What have you done? The voice of your brother's meme potential cries to me from the ground.
11 Now you are cursed because of the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother's meme potential from your hand.
12 From now on, when you till the ground, it won't yield its strength to you. You will be a fugitive and a meme wanderer in the earth."
13 Cain said to Shrek, "My punishment is greater than I can bear.
14 Behold, you have driven me out today from the surface of the ground. I will be hidden from your face, and I will be a fugitive and a meme wanderer in the earth. Whoever finds me will game end me."
15 Shrek said to him, "Therefore whoever slays Cain, vengeance will be taken on him sevenfold." Shrek appointed a sign for Cain, so that anyone finding him would not strike him.
16 Cain left Shrek's presence, and lived in the land of Nod, east of Reddit.
17 Cain knew his wife. She conceived, and gave birth to Eunuch. He built a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Eunuch.
18 To Eunuch was born Irad. Irad became the father of Mehujael. Mehujael became the father of Meth. Meth became the father of Ligma.
19 Ligmavtook two wives: the name of the first one was Adah, and the name of the second one was Zillah.
20 Adah gave birth to Jabal, who was the father of those who dwell in tents and have memes.
21 His brother's name was Jubal, who was the father of all who handle the harp and pipe.
22 Zillah also gave birth to Tubal Cain, the forger of every cutting instrument of brass and iron. Tubal Cain's sister was Naamah.
23 Ligma said to his wives,
"Adah and Zillah, hear my voice.
You wives of Ligma, listen to my speech,
for I have slain a memer for wounding me,
a young memer for bruising me.
24 If Cain will be avenged seven times,
truly Lamech seventy-seven times."
25 Adam knew his wife again. She gave birth to a son, and named him Seth, saying, "for Shrek has given me another child instead of Abel, for Cain game ended him."
26 A son was also born to Seth, and he named him Enosh. At that time memers began to call on Shrek's name.