Well, that was quite a day.
I mean, Yoona completely attacked me once she noticed I was also interested in singing.
Her questioning didn't end, she even made me dance multiple times while we were cleaning the classroom. I mean, I enjoy dancing, but it was also really embarrassing to dance in front of someone else.
Even more if that someone looked at me with glistening eyes, AND even more so if it was a girl!
Anyway, after that frightening session with Yoona, It was time for the two of us to go. She said someone would come to get her, so the two of us waited at the school's entrance for Yoona's parent to come.
After half an hour of waiting, someone finally came, apparently it was her father that came, so we said our goodbyes and separated.
Even though she was quite.... weird, she was also really cute. Furthermore, I could sense her crude passion each time she talked about groups during our conversations.
I guess you could say it was really cute....
After I separated with Yoona, as always, I went to my new home, and as I already decided this morning, I was going to talk seriously with Father about my future.
I had to walk, because I didn't have a bike, the old one I used to use was borrowed after all.
Now that I decided to talk with Father, a lot of doubts started to appear in my mind.
Maybe it's too soon, and I mean, wouldn't it be a little bit rude to treat him like this after all the things he has done for me.
Also, wouldn't that Do Joon bastard notice me if I ever debut as a singer? Isn't my future kind of ruined because of him?
During all of the journey from School to home, I could only think about all of the possible problems that could happen if I start training as a singer.
By the time I got to the building, I was really frustrated about the situation, and a little bit of fear appeared already in my face. Something was quite clear, the way I am now, I could not even hope to talk with Father.
Once I decided that, it was more convenient to calm myself down before approaching Father.
So, I went to the trainee room where Hyung and me usually competed, and when I got there, I noticed the ajar door.
Curiosity won, so I slightly peeked inside the room, and confirmed it was only Hyung practicing. His ability definitely wasn't because of luck, or "Talent", it was sheer practice....
I really hated the word talented, not that I was ever called like that yet. What I noticed is that usually people use this word when they can't explain how someone can do what they find impossible.
But that's precisely what I find quite unfair, after all, isn't it completely ignoring all of the efforts and years that are behind the so called talent? It's clear to me why I find that word insulting.
I silently entered the room while in my thoughts, and quietly sat by the side of the door leaning on the floor. It was quite natural, and comfortable to sit in this position, I must say.
As I didn't want to interrupt Hyung, I got some more time to think about some things and calm myself, but more importantly, I tried to completely organize my thoughts and to plan the conversation I'm going to have with father.
I don't know when Hyung finished practicing, but he was already by my side while sweating and gasping for breath, it was an intense routine in my opinion. I noticed he was by my side because I could hear someone saying.
—Is something bothering you today? — he worriedly asked.
— Hyung, can I ask you something really important? — I guess I'm gonna tell him.
An amused expression appeared on his face, as he teasingly said.
— Ohhh? Is it about a girl? — he said, his snake-like eyes threatening to show.
I was really embarrassed by that comment... How did he get that idea?
I rolled my eyes at him and said.
— You couldn't be more wrong.... — At this point, I got serious once again and asked — Hyung, why do you practice so much?
Not even a second passed before I could hear him replying.
— Because I want to. — He was really serious while answering, I could sense all of the things that he wanted to convey.
He then continued.
— You're not the first to answer that question. And of course you won't be the last one. But it's really a simple question for me. Why do I practice that much? To get better, why do I want to get better? To possibly debut, why would I want to debut? To become a full fledged singer. And why would I want to become that? Simply, that's my dream, or in reality, more of an intermediate goal. But the thing is, all of the previous things I said could be condensed to "I want to do it" and that's it, Am I wrong?— While he said the last part of his monologue, I noticed him smiling at me, with his distinctive eye smile.
He didn't say a thing for a couple of minutes, I guess he was waiting for me to digest his words. But after some silence, he stood up while dusting his pants and said
— Aren't you just trying to find a excuse? The short time we've spent together tells me so, but that's something you should decide. — He then left the dance room.
— Excuses? — I thought.
Of course, that's what's happening..... I'm just trying to find excuses... It's pretty clear to me now.
I'm just finding excuses to justify my fears.
I thought I wouldn't have any more doubts after everything that happened, but I was wrong. My doubts were just hiding from me in plain sight, that's all.
Well, not anymore...
Resolution appeared on my face, and I calmly stood up and started walking towards the second floor of the building. Had I looked behind me, I could've noticed Hyung following me with his smirk that I find so annoying.
I'm definitely going to talk with father, the worst that could happen is him not allowing me to become a trainee. But that wouldn't stop me at all right now. My path is clear, all of my previous doubts, now erased, my fears now non-existent.
By the time I got to Father's office, I've inwardly built an unbelievable momentum. I knocked three times, waited a bit, and knocked two times more.
This was my sign for him to know that it was me. I then heard.
— Just Come in Chris-ah.
That's what I did, and noticed Father filling some papers that were on the desk. He then raised his gaze and looked at me, he was clearly waiting for me to say something.
— I will become a singer — I simply said that, no more words were needed. Also, I directly glared at Father, expecting a clear answer from him.
I could sense all of the emotions that went through him in a few seconds.
Initially dumbfounded, then simply surprised, to finally be worried. All of the emotions could be read really easily from his face. He then started talking.
— Being a singer is not a ga- — I didn't wait for him to finish before I interrupted.
— I know it's not easy, and neither it's a game. — I said almost instantly. And once again waited for him to reply.
I noticed how a worried expression appeared on his face for mere instants, before transforming into a frown. Silence permeated the room for a couple of minutes. It was really pressuring or me.
— Follow me — He finally broke the silent and said.
I simply did as he told me, but to my surprise, he ended going all the way to the trainee room I was with Hyung earlier. It's really funny thinking that I was just here some time ago. He gestured for me to stand just in front of him and then simply said.
— What are you waiting for? Won't you show me what makes you so confident of becoming a singer, dancer or whatever?
I gulped saliva down, is he really gonna be like this?